Why Are So Many Christians Still Single?
- Thread starter celras
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
If not starting as friend, do you want to meet and get married right away?
As Isaac and Rebecca?
I do take time to get to know them. "Friend" is just their way of justifying a rejection without making themselves feel bad. That's all it's ever been.
From a woman perspective, not necessarily.
Depends on age.
Maybe younger people yes, friends means rejection.
But for older people, no one is rushing to settle down. Also life style is already developed and matured. Regular friendship is a good process to develop into anything. If older people rush into serious dating and marriage, I think it is too risky.
Hi Dustin, from a female perspective, "friend" is our way of saying that we genuinely like a guy but don't feel that marrying him would be the right thing to do. In a woman's eyes it's a high compliment ("I value you beyond any romantic possibility").
However, some men do not see it the same way. As a man, can you clue us in on a better way to tell a guy that we like him but do not think it would be right to marry him?
No, I cannot. If we're interested in you, it's really a very binary thing, either you are too, and we start something, or we really don't speak much anymore. If we have expressed interest and asked you out on a date, and you are not interested, we're really not going to put any effort into speaking to you anymore.
This i kind of agree.
But go out on dates still mean regular friendship, it does not mean cuddling, holding hands..... which I think should be very serious dating stage, as if considering marriage.
I don't understand older people want cuddling at early stage of dating.
The older that you get the least likely you will find an age-appropriate woman who is a virgin. Why not choose instead a woman who has a pure heart? Have you 'saved' yourself as well?
I understand about the kids too. It's called baggage. It's not so bad if you think about it. I have experience in such matters. Comes with the territory.
Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.
I fully concur with your estimate. 'Friend' is code for 'don't get close to me'.
That Lovette line is a riot.Well, most people don't whine endlessly about things they are not listening to. But you whine about Instagrammers a lot too and apparently you're not even on Instagram, so maybe it's all par for the Lovette course
Perhaps, after a few dates. At that point you either know what you want or you don't.
@Snackersmom is a most caring person. Definitely a class act.
That's the part I can't get involved.
if the man doesn't give time to know each other as if church brother sister, then that means the man wants to rush into something, probably security...? But he should build his security on God, not on another person.
A few dates is not enough for a mideyuker person, which most of us all are.
So the man want woman to decide marriage just after a few dates?
If both very attractive to each other, yes maybe.Maybe, maybe not.
But non attractive in long run can still develop into marriage with solid foundations. So for non attractive people, it takes longer in friend zone.
I have observed people rush into marriage usually need some side benefits, I am not against all the side benefits. Yes marriage should bring in many side benefits.
However for single people already have side benefits blessed by God, they usually take a long time to settle, or just stay single.
It might be binary for men but not so much for women. If a woman requests to be friends she might just be saying that she wants more time to get to know you without the pressure of a serious relationship.
Plus, women tend to value men's input and presence, so simply spending time with a man we value is not considered a waste of time. But it's rare to find a man who feels the same way about women: its just as you described if she doesn't want to date him then he doesn't want to waste time on her.
But what I'm asking is..... how SHOULD a woman tell a man that she values his presence but does not want to date him? You've expressed your displeasure with "let's be friends", but what would you want the lady to say instead? Just a flat "No, not interested?"
I promise I'm not being sarcastic here, I find this topic a bit puzzling and I want to understand the male perspective better. Is it taken as insulting if a woman implies that you might be willing to talk to her even if she doesn't want to date you?