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A
lol my first thought is that you are not alone in not liking nagging women because its even written in the Bible.
my next thought was that a relationship is not healthy if its not based upon the mutual giving and love of both people. for example. my husband kind of spoils me and does things to make me happy, but I in turn try to do things (even things I don't like doing) because i know it makes him happy and because I know he doesn't like doing them any more than I do but we both know it needs to be done. (mostly laundry and dishes, thank God our kids are now potty trained but that was what I viewed as labor of love)
I believe truth is important but the truth is that feelings matter as well. however Christ told us to value others higher than ourselves and too view their needs above our own and if we surround ourselves with people who follow God's ways then they too will look to our needs and no one will want for anything. I guess for me that is what love and family should be about.
Anyway hope you find someone who will love you as much as you love her. Just make sure you are mature in Christ and ready for the responsibility(both spiritual and financial) of being a man of God and head of the household.
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see this man would rather live on the corner of the roof than have to share a house with a contentious woman, another said do camp out in the wilderness than live with an angry and contentious woman
, but to be equal, a contentious man can cause as much trouble.
my next thought was that a relationship is not healthy if its not based upon the mutual giving and love of both people. for example. my husband kind of spoils me and does things to make me happy, but I in turn try to do things (even things I don't like doing) because i know it makes him happy and because I know he doesn't like doing them any more than I do but we both know it needs to be done. (mostly laundry and dishes, thank God our kids are now potty trained but that was what I viewed as labor of love)
I believe truth is important but the truth is that feelings matter as well. however Christ told us to value others higher than ourselves and too view their needs above our own and if we surround ourselves with people who follow God's ways then they too will look to our needs and no one will want for anything. I guess for me that is what love and family should be about.
Anyway hope you find someone who will love you as much as you love her. Just make sure you are mature in Christ and ready for the responsibility(both spiritual and financial) of being a man of God and head of the household.
A
so where did the money come from?
You don't have to answer but it seems strange that your mom has access to that money if you had a job and was saving for college.
It would make sense if your grandparents or dad saved it and placed it in trust under your mom until you were old enough to go to college. However, why didn't they just put it into bonds under your name and allow you to withdraw it when you turned 18?
Also there is the factor of what she used the money for: bills, food, etc would be understandable.
clothes (for herself not you), jewelry, etc not so much.
hmmm going to read the rest of the thread maybe it gets answered...
You don't have to answer but it seems strange that your mom has access to that money if you had a job and was saving for college.
It would make sense if your grandparents or dad saved it and placed it in trust under your mom until you were old enough to go to college. However, why didn't they just put it into bonds under your name and allow you to withdraw it when you turned 18?
Also there is the factor of what she used the money for: bills, food, etc would be understandable.
clothes (for herself not you), jewelry, etc not so much.
hmmm going to read the rest of the thread maybe it gets answered...
A
those are your examples?
are you serious?
maybe she is trying to figure out why you didn't just open the driver's door instead of crawling through the passenger's side? lol if my husband or brothers saw you do something like that they would definitely pick on you more and not as kindly as your aunt who just expressed concern about your mental ability to reason. truthfully I would share her concern because its not logically to go through the passenger side when it would only take a few more steps to get in by the driver's side. If you were my nephew I would do more than give you a funny look.
that is not complaining its an observation. if it really bugs you just tell her that you are capable of good time management and you find her reminders insulting and ask nicely if she would stop. however, i doubt it would work. my husband does that all the time and is always rushing us but we all forgive him because we love him and he just concerned about wasting others time and likes being on time. its called being considerate of others to be on time. its not fatalistic at all. you should learn to forgive and/or talk to her about it in a loving and respectful manner.
no not really. she probably thinks the same thing you do. that you are unjust and she is loving and just in voicing her concerns. sounds like a break down in communication.
are you serious?
maybe she is trying to figure out why you didn't just open the driver's door instead of crawling through the passenger's side? lol if my husband or brothers saw you do something like that they would definitely pick on you more and not as kindly as your aunt who just expressed concern about your mental ability to reason. truthfully I would share her concern because its not logically to go through the passenger side when it would only take a few more steps to get in by the driver's side. If you were my nephew I would do more than give you a funny look.
that is not complaining its an observation. if it really bugs you just tell her that you are capable of good time management and you find her reminders insulting and ask nicely if she would stop. however, i doubt it would work. my husband does that all the time and is always rushing us but we all forgive him because we love him and he just concerned about wasting others time and likes being on time. its called being considerate of others to be on time. its not fatalistic at all. you should learn to forgive and/or talk to her about it in a loving and respectful manner.
no not really. she probably thinks the same thing you do. that you are unjust and she is loving and just in voicing her concerns. sounds like a break down in communication.
Out of the heart man speaks - We cannot blame people for our reactions - we control our reaction
NO temptation has seized you but what is common to man - that means other men are getting more victory in this area, and there are some worse off.
We are without excuse - especially if we are Christians, God has given us everything we need, to live a Godly life and to Choose Him - God equips us for every situation
NO temptation has seized you but what is common to man - that means other men are getting more victory in this area, and there are some worse off.
We are without excuse - especially if we are Christians, God has given us everything we need, to live a Godly life and to Choose Him - God equips us for every situation
B
Feelings just say how you feel.. I'm sure their important for informational reasons. But, not a guide to life. It's not I feel therefore the whole universe revolves around my feelings.
It sorta non of your business... no offense, but sure...
I'll answer vaguely. The money was mine. She knew it was for my college. She spent it. That's all you need to know. She did me wrong... period. Also, the spending of that money wasn't for the needs of our immediate family.
She didn't even ask me... talked to me.
She clearly didn't care about what side of the door I was going through.. I even think she knew why. The car was parked... and I didn't want to go on the street side... to avoid cars. She was looking straight at the keys.. studying it as if it was a big deal I accidentally turned off the car with my foot. She even commented about it... confirming that she was studying and supervising me.
Also.. you just perfectly demonstrated a fine example of how a woman reads between the lines and makes her own universe out of nowhere and then believe it.
I have talked to her several times. She can be.. IS fatalistic... and they are fatalistic comments. To just claim, were late already... when the vast majority of the time.. were early... means she's fatalistic. And that's the only time I'll explain it to you. I don't want to argue much. It's just the plain truth. It isn't healthy to hear things like this.
I wouldn't be surprised if she thinks I'm unjust about my absolutely just complaints about her. I'm well aware that feelings can dictate truth with women so sure.. she can feel like she's right but she definitely isn't.
It sorta non of your business... no offense, but sure...
I'll answer vaguely. The money was mine. She knew it was for my college. She spent it. That's all you need to know. She did me wrong... period. Also, the spending of that money wasn't for the needs of our immediate family.
She didn't even ask me... talked to me.
She clearly didn't care about what side of the door I was going through.. I even think she knew why. The car was parked... and I didn't want to go on the street side... to avoid cars. She was looking straight at the keys.. studying it as if it was a big deal I accidentally turned off the car with my foot. She even commented about it... confirming that she was studying and supervising me.
Also.. you just perfectly demonstrated a fine example of how a woman reads between the lines and makes her own universe out of nowhere and then believe it.
I have talked to her several times. She can be.. IS fatalistic... and they are fatalistic comments. To just claim, were late already... when the vast majority of the time.. were early... means she's fatalistic. And that's the only time I'll explain it to you. I don't want to argue much. It's just the plain truth. It isn't healthy to hear things like this.
I wouldn't be surprised if she thinks I'm unjust about my absolutely just complaints about her. I'm well aware that feelings can dictate truth with women so sure.. she can feel like she's right but she definitely isn't.
B
It's the informational truth that I feel like terrible when treated badly. The context makes me right... not my feelings. The context shows that I'm rightly not feeling too good. If the context showed I was feeling bad for no reason like some women fall under... then it's silly.
To make it simple... feelings can be right or wrong. What I was saying is that women shouldn't ALWAYS think their feelings are right. That's the point.
In my case.... my feelings were right.. NOT because of my feelings alone but because of WHY I felt that way.
To make it simple... feelings can be right or wrong. What I was saying is that women shouldn't ALWAYS think their feelings are right. That's the point.
In my case.... my feelings were right.. NOT because of my feelings alone but because of WHY I felt that way.
R
What are you trying to accomplish with this thread anyway?
Is the sole purpose of this thread just you trying to bait someone who is similar enough to your aunt or every ex you ever had into responding mean and familiar just like they would just so you can "put them in their place" as some bizarre attempt at making things right?
Because if that is what you are doing, I can assure you, it won't work. All you are doing is using innocent women as a scapegoat to complain. Nothing here is actually productive. People here have given you plenty of advice and it doesn't seem like you even care.
You are just unnecessarily hurting peoples feelings and giving the place a bad vibe now.
Is the sole purpose of this thread just you trying to bait someone who is similar enough to your aunt or every ex you ever had into responding mean and familiar just like they would just so you can "put them in their place" as some bizarre attempt at making things right?
Because if that is what you are doing, I can assure you, it won't work. All you are doing is using innocent women as a scapegoat to complain. Nothing here is actually productive. People here have given you plenty of advice and it doesn't seem like you even care.
You are just unnecessarily hurting peoples feelings and giving the place a bad vibe now.
So basically you are right and can have whatever feeling you like and they are right because they are yours as long asuyou can say why? please.
how do yu think your auntie feels when you screech at her and disrespect her? but of course her feelings would be wrog as she is female.
what do you expect to acheive here? plenty people have replied to you but you refuse to even consider that you are as prone to error as the rest of the world.
so I say it plainly...you are behaving like a spoilt child considering your thoughts and feelings to be above or more important or valid than others. only a child can't see past the end of his nose.
C
I feel sorry for you OP. I am with you, only on the different side. I've experienced and seen too many guys abusing their lady emotionally and/or physically. It hardened my heart into believing that all men were generally abusive in some levels (and, yes, including my dad who can be emotionally abusive to my mom at times due to his deep rooted childhood insecurity).
But then came along my brother in law. He had this miserable background of abusive father that made me think he was certainly a member of the abusers. But, seeing him and now having him as a family for 5+ years, I couldn't say anything but, "The Lord sent one fine man to my sister's door!" And I must admit, he makes me believe again that not all guys are abusive.
In short, I can understand how you feel right now and your disbelief in the existence of nice woman out there. Take your time and keep on praying. God will send you help in a way only He knows, to make you believe again that there ARE nice women out there.
PS: I'm sure everyone here expressed a thought with a mean to help or, at least, understand you. Hope you don't take anything personally and think anyone attacked you in any way. God bless
But then came along my brother in law. He had this miserable background of abusive father that made me think he was certainly a member of the abusers. But, seeing him and now having him as a family for 5+ years, I couldn't say anything but, "The Lord sent one fine man to my sister's door!" And I must admit, he makes me believe again that not all guys are abusive.
In short, I can understand how you feel right now and your disbelief in the existence of nice woman out there. Take your time and keep on praying. God will send you help in a way only He knows, to make you believe again that there ARE nice women out there.
PS: I'm sure everyone here expressed a thought with a mean to help or, at least, understand you. Hope you don't take anything personally and think anyone attacked you in any way. God bless