Addiction Confession (Help!)

I think I have to admit that anxiety is big part of my addiction. Now all this anxiety leads me to want to feed my sex addiction.

Let all your anxiety upon God, not through anger or confusion, but your inner pain, which probably is taking place in your life... Let it go to God...

Wow, I hate what I have done. I was going for 2 weeks strong without any pornography usage to only find myself divulging and indulging within a few minutes. I deliberately messed up. I typed in and found some sex videos online, and decided to take a look at it. I just did evil. It was foul of me to do. Now I feel myself questioning whether I am even capable to do the Lord's work. Oh, I hate this. I feel dead right now. I thought that I don't even like to look at pornography anymore. But there is a dependency there. I know I can resist. Then why do I keep returning to it? Am I a dog in disguise?

I don't know why I did this. I honestly think I saw the train coming and chose not to get out of the way. I felt very loathsome about being single and alone. I for some reason tend to live solo and be a loner. I definitely like to be by myself too much. I don't know why I like to be by myself to be honest. Maybe it says something about me. I really don't like to be with another person for a long period of time. Maybe I am alone far too much.

For the past few weeks, I have been thinking about marriage and family. I now notice that most people my age are starting to have a family and are getting married right now. All the while I am 23 (24 in 8 months) and have never even been on a date. I really know that dating is such a trivial thing to be concerned with in terms of all the world's problems. But for some reason, I feel like I am all alone right now because of it. I feel all alone right now with nobody else to be around. Really, I don't want to just have intercourse, but being alone does not help me either. And this is where the problem comes.

I know that I am very unfit for a relationship. I am just simply not ready to be a boyfriend/husband. I am simply not "man enough" to have a girlfriend. I feel like I am not going to be able to handle dating and all that. In my current position, I would ruin it for sure. I can't even do things like car repairs or fixing a simple thing. Plus, I work for a job that is dead-end for a little more than $8.00 an hour. Most people can work for double my wages. If I had to be honest, I feel a little bit of a failure. I do have to say that I feel like an adolescent while not being a teenager. I don't even know what God wants for my job and career. I would love for it to be clearer. Shouldn't I be doing better now? I feel like I am not doing anything for God the way I would like.

I feel like a loser where I'm at now. And I know that no person could make me happier.

Plus, I don't want to have to depend on anybody. I don't want to go into a position where I feel like I cannot live without another person in my life. No other person could complete me. I know only Christ can. So, I don't want to have to be with another person and feel incomplete without him or her. I like to fly solo and be by myself. I don't know whether I should be single. I don't really picture myself as a family man with a wife and kids. I don't know if that wife and kids would be too happy with a father I picture myself being. I may be a person who should be alone. I don't know about it. I may have to live as single for Jesus. That may have to be the bed I lie in. I honestly don't know how to feel about that. I honestly don't know what to think. I know I don't want to turn to worldly things (cohabiting & casual sex), but I feel like the more days seem to pass, the less mature I seem to look.

Everyone's got an arm to hold, a baby to care for, and a new relationship seems to start every single day. I find myself being unable to be in such a position. I find myself unable to shut down the feelings of sadness that come with it. I find myself unable to shut down the desires I had when I was living really wicked. The desires of romance and love. I just want them to go away and die forever. It would surely make living single easier by not having them plaguing me. I just want them to seriously go away.

Every day I am reminded of what I don't have and where I am (living with my parents as a grown child). I don't know what to say with this. I feel ashamed that I am still living in such a way. I am unsure what to do. I hate that I am living as foul as I am. I feel like I have done nothing but waste my existence in terms of living for God. I haven't even converted one person to Christ. I don't even think that I've shared my faith with people. Maybe in subtle ways, but not evangelism. I need to be better.

I felt very upset that I am not doing better. I am lousy.

Grow up!!!

Have you ever read the Bible??? It tells you that God will never give you a temptation too big that you won't have a way out... I know you said you personally stood infront of the train and let it hit you but stop insinuating that this sin is too big for you to ignore... Stop insinuating that this sin is to big for you to handle... If you are Christian then you have the power of the Holy Spirit inside of you... SO SHUT UP AND START DOING!

Every time I go to search for something on my cell-phone I am afraid that my search history will show a pornographic website... No one is immune to this temptation, even women get urges... I personally noticed every time I did give in I felt worse than if I would have fought the temptation... I also noticed the gratification from ejaculation was not even comparable to the gratification that God helped me through it...

And stop talking about families as if the grass is greener on the other side!!! A problem of masterbation not comparable to 'is my child going to end up following Christ'... "Is my wife going to denounce Christ and make me bare another temptation of falling from the lord"... And much more examples... I am not saying that your struggle is not hard... I know its hard I am going through the same one! But stop comparing yourself to others, stop saying this person is better off, I wish I was this person, or how come I cant be with this person... Did God not make you in His image? Does God not have a Perfect plan???

And if you truly want to have a girlfriend, or get married... Focus your life on Christ... God will provide! Stop trying to fix material things and follow the world... Just follow Christ!

I'll refer you back to post #10. As long as you're here you're flesh. The insidious thing about flesh is that it doesn't even require evil to afflict you. That's what makes it such a good way for evil to afflict you. It's predisposed.

When you fall don't wallow. Kneel before God, confess and receive cleansing, then move on as a soldier who though he stumbles still marches. It's satan's wish that you take yourself out of commission for this, not God's.

Again, when you are tempted, come here first. Get your mind on God and your flesh will follow.

Thanks, T Laurich. I guess I need to focus on God alone. I really need to place focus back on the promises of God, not being captured by how to win a mate and being lonely. I'm not even sure if I should even have a mate at this point. But I know that love has been so a part of me. I know I have wanted to be in love with somebody and give that love to somebody. But that part is what also scares me. I have seen many fail in love and end up with heartbreak. I don't want that to be me. So I have been afraid to honestly fall in love, because I believe that disappointment becoming me. I know that's fear, not faith, but it's still a huge wall in my life.

So I need to have a better focus on God. Maybe this wall can come down.

I just wanted to say that the thing with porn addiction and mast. addiction is often just presented as a guy thing. I feel it is something that can attack anyone and it can be really difficult and we have to focus 100% on God to help us overcome it.

Yeah, I would have to say that anyhow when it comes to being a man, I know it's time to be a better man. I am just simply a child in grown clothes. So until I start becoming more manly, I wouldn't even date. Plus, if I can't get past a few weeks of freedom from pornography, why should I expect to date? It won't change with a relationship. Matter of fact, the wrong one can kill you.

I feel I have been so selfish basically. Porn is a selfish thing. Thus I am selfish. I tend to focus on my dreams and want to live my dreams. I do have those. I feel like I haven't accomplished anything except being a dateless, perpetual, lowly bachelor. My bachelor life basically consists of only me in it. I really have a deep emptiness inside of me. I just don't know why, but part of me likes being this way. Part of me likes to be by himself. I don't know if that's because I lack friendship skills, don't trust people well, or that I'm hiding myself from others. Maybe I'm just not that good with people and don't know what to do. I honestly don't have great skills, especially with girls. It's probably because I am broke and feel like I couldn't support one. I mean, why start a family if you have no funds to do it on? You're only faking at that point, making false promises to me. I can't even treat a person to a nice meal. With the loans I have now, I'll be dead broke for a while. So my only option is to stay alone. I often end up being by myself most of the time anyhow.

I don't really like to do what most people do anyway. I'm not a party person or an extroverted person. I like to read, write, sing, and listen to music. I do things that don't really require another person. It's been this way for quite a while now. I was rejected by people all throughout school, high school & college. I was the outsider, not fitting into the social life. I really think that I don't work well with others. And I hate superficial conversations filled with nothing but 'Hi' & 'Hello'.

Hey, at least I am real and authentic. I don't try to put up fronts and I don't try to be a faker. I've got problems, and I know it for sure. My ways don't draw the people in a lot. I don't really have the best of friendships, and I never have. Ever since being a teen, I have basically had one or two friends. Now I have little friends I would call regularly. So for a long time I have been a misfit, and I've liked it. I've basically built a world for myself that I & God could only fit in.

I tend to like being solo, but there is still a part of me that doesn't like it too. Friday nights at home alone really don't sound great. Try that 7 days a week. Solitude sometimes isn't solace.

Sometimes I wonder where the people like me exist. Maybe then we can be misfits & rejects together. Misfits for Jesus!

I wonder if I could go a whole life without a partner (and hopefully thus without sex). But that seems to be a possibility staring at me in the face.

I would just try to focus on God... Paul says that he wishes everyone would be a celibate like him; however, he also says that you shouldn't decide your a celibate when you're young. But to wait until you have almost grown to old to become wed and then you will see if God has called you into celibacy...

Either way both sides of the fence you just focus on God...

Sorry about seeming very crude on my other post. But you can't just keep running back to your sins... And speaking through anatomy every time you 'ejaculate' your urge to do it again grows... So by feeding that hunger you get hungrier...

I have Gone 2 months now without masturbation (TMI I know) But the longer I go the easier it is...

The book of proverbs is really cool to read and explains sexual immorality very well...

P.s. I have noticed everytime I run my own life I like it... Everytime I hand the wheel over to God I panic and want it back... But when I look back I notice when I ran my life it was in shambles and destroyed... And everytime God ran it I was safe and good... It seems Ironic that something else can be a better you... But God is all powerful all knowing...

You have a sin. Don't we all? yours is no better, worse, more understandable than anyone else's. Get real
Harsh? yes....sin is.
Turn to Him, read, study, pray and struggle....fight...and it will be SO easy to pray, to talk of it all....but the struggle? we do not talk of it.
Get your life in alignment with what God wants....then moan about it. (Harsh again? but really!!)
God Bless, Hattie <><

Yeah, to be honest with you, I definitely have sinful eyes. I have covetous eyes if they don't have the covenant eyes on them. I need that Job 31 right now. Is it weird to say that you can see that you have a devilish side inside of you? At times I feel like a predator. I feel like I am a monster at times because of my sexuality. I'd honestly would love to live without it at times. Basically be asexual.

I honestly hate having heart longings. I have honestly longed to have my first kiss. I feel so starved for affection that I feel like I want it all the time. Now I feel like I am wanting to feel loved by anyone, it seems. Now I'm in danger. I'm starting to think of lust as love. I used to believe that love only was attraction. I am in dangerous ground. I went shopping for work, and it was difficult because it seemed everyone was drawing my eyes. I know the more I starve my eyes, the better it gets. But my opinion is why have it at all. Some days I wonder if it's even worth having a drive. How are you supposed to treat women as a sister when you can't stop feeling attracted?

But I know what I am attracted to is not the person is, it's who I imagine the person to be. I imagine the person to be my love. I think of her as being "the one" & the woman of my dreams. I have basically lived without a companion and someone to care for. For some reason it hurts me that I don't have that. Yet what could hurt even more is that I seem to be idolizing it all over again and downplaying God's love. Isn't God the lover of my soul? So what would I need with some woman to love me? It's wrong. I hate that I feel like I want to be married overall, because I know that marriage isn't fantasy. Paul says it's better to be single because you're undivided for the Lord. So if the Word says that singleness is better (from Jesus & Paul), then I need to accept that God has the best idea.

I have to stop fantasizing. Fantasies are destructive. So even if I get lonely, I am just going to have to deal with the pain of loneliness. It's all for the cause of Christ, right?

I guess I am obsessed with my single state, like everyone else in my life. Everybody has questions as to why I am single at 23, and why I don't have a girlfriend. I don't know how to answer them. So I am going to have to stop the obsession and the weirdness of celibacy. How do you tell people you are trying to be celibate?

I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like I need to share this. I am very fearful for some reason of people. And for some reason, I would rather stay distant from other people than try to get close to girls. I tend to get afraid to be around girls, because I am pretty awkward with girls. I am pretty scared of girls, and I tend to be very shy. At least I thought it was shyness overall. I just think it's fear. I lose the battle all together because of it. I just find it difficult to be around girls and feel comfortable. I become faint of breath whenever I am around girls. Just thinking about getting close to me almost drives my adrenaline up. I feel very weak in the knees, and my body just starts to shake uncontrollably. I get so scared, and I am left coming up short. I am left down and out. Fear wins and triumphs over me.

No wonder why I like to be alone. I like being alone so much because I'm afraid to be with anyone else. Everything else strikes fear into me.

And then there's the fear in evangelism. I get afraid to share my faith. What if they don't want me to proclaim Christ? What if they hate me? What if they call me names (and believe me there are people who truly hate Jesus)? What do I do? How do I approach that person? What if they just reject me and reject Jesus? If I have to honestly say it, I have a big fear of man. It's like it strikes the fear of death in me to approach people and win souls. For so long, I have lacked courage in talking to people before Christ. Now I feel like that fear has translated to talking to people about Jesus. Even though it's what I want to do most, I feel like I am scared of it most. I want to do it, but I am so scared of the nonbelieving world. I just want to tell people about Jesus, but I can't do it without courage. I want that courage.

I feel like I'm in a battle in so many ways, and I feel like running and retreating. I just don't know if I can win these fights. Maybe flying solo has been the easy way out for me so long. Whether to hold on to it is still debatable. I just know it's safer.

Brother, I know where you're coming from with this, as I've struggled with this very issue on and off (sadly right now it seems to also be on occasionally). It's what first drove me to Christ and it goes away completely as long as I stay close. Drift away and bang, I fly too close to the sun. Celibacy is about the only thing I CAN claim, but sexual purity is an area where I have clearly fallen in the past. And frankly even though I've been celibate my whole life, I haven't escaped adultery as per Matthew:

15 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.


You mentioned concern over the possiblity that you might stay single your entire life and never get married. I have wondered the same thing on occasion, but finally decided that if that's what it is, it's what it is. At age 23, you have a long time to go before that would even be a reality, as do I at 28. Whatever you do, do not rush towards a relationship thinking it will help you deal with any issues you may struggle with. You need to get yourself to where you are strong in Christ all on your own before you add another person to the mix. Relationships do not fix what's broken inside of us, they merely give us companionship.

As for wandering eyes, they can be trained, much as those in this thread have mentioned you can re train your brain. When I was young in Christ I read the book Every Man's battle, and it was very helpful for me in learning strategies to keep my eyes from betraying me. I can say honestly that they are one problem

You need to intercept potential threats to your purity before they crop up. The first and foremost way you can do this is by always keeping things at eye level. Don't look at women as cuts of meat, just look at their faces and remember they are whole beings, all beautiful in their own right (again provided they don't have something broken on the inside). As a bonus, you'll turn into a man who has "low standards." Seriously just about every woman will be beautiful to you, which is a sign it's working and you're no longer a slave to the insanely high standards we all get assaulted with every day.

If you find yourself wandering in your mind, ask Christ for forgiveness and move on. Hold every thought captive.

Another idea I had recently, which I am convinced is from the Spirit and not from me, is to have a collection of inspirational bible verses, music, etc, and a collection of your own words in your own hand documenting how it feels after you fail Christ. When you feel tempted, go to this collection. I'm going to put it in a box and call it my crisis box. I'll be running to it for a lot more than one issue though I'm sure. I also keep a loaded bible on the night stand, I suggest everyone do the same, and yes I said loaded bible.

And lastly, perhaps an accountability partner would be beneficial for you. I noticed the idea was proposed in this thread last week but it doesn't seem to have gained much traction. PM me if that strikes your fancy.

I always feel bad whenever a sexual thought pops into my head. It is hard to be tempted for me, but I feel like doom is coming for me. I feel like failure is only imminent. I honestly don't want to backslide and mess up. Yet I do anyway. I know the Spirit crucifies the nature, but for some reason I still like to indulge. Thus, I'm left questioning what I desire more: God or sex. It honestly drives fear and anxiety in my gut, to the point I faint. I have fainted so many times because of my anxiety. Sex makes me anxious.

The fear and anxiety just leaves me paralyzed. I need to have some heroic courage now. Just with life in general. I am a coward. Living cowardly is such a terrible way to live, and I simply can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm not gaining much because I'm afraid of risk-taking. I'm afraid of confession, and I'm afraid of dating.

I have so many fears associated with dating (& marriage). So many bad things can happen during dating. I know the desires inside of me are nothing short of wrong and I've got to fight them off me. I hate the lust in me. I don't even know if attraction is right at all. What if during the dating phase I get so tempted to start having premarital sex? What if the temptation gives birth and it leads to regret? That's why I don't want to date and everything. I don't want to just get a girlfriend because I'm lonely or lustful. I don't want to do as the Bible calls "defrauding" 1 Thessalonians 4. I honestly want to live an honorable way, and my desire has always been to remain a virgin unless I'm married. I honestly wouldn't care if my supposed partner waited or not, but it means a lot to me. I want to wait for it. That's my desire.

But it seems like I am surrounded by people who aren't willing to wait. And if they are, would they want to date me anyway? I have some baggage issues with lustful obsessions. I have constraints monetarily, as I can't afford most things. I know money shouldn't matter, but when you're broke? I don't know. And I don't even know if I want to be married.

I find myself cynical about being married. Every look into my life and every stare at those around me leave marriage as this horrible thing. Sure I see some good marriages (especially at the church I go to), but those cannot negate the bad experiences I have seen with my parents and with my friends' parents. Everyone else's stinks, it seems. I really am not good with confrontations and being stern. I'm more of a pushover that way. I guess I'm just a weak man or effeminate. I didn't like seeing the strife in my family, so I guess I reacted and turned inward entirely. Now, there are just times where I don't want to be married, and it's because I equate marriage with divorce and misery.

I know it sounds defeating, but I don't think I could do any better at it. I'm not a man's man. I'm the child in big clothes. A certified man-child. There really isn't anything that I would call manly about me. How could I, as a boy, lead a marriage? How could I, a mere child, expect to do anything of such magnitude? It's easy. You don't. I feel right now that even if I were to get married, I would instantaneously lead it down towards the pit. It'd be a mistake. So I feel like singleness is my option basically. Let's fight on forever, then! It'll be a silent fight as I can't tell anyone what's going on. Nobody else knows what I'm doing basically. That secrecy may be another fear in disguise.

It sounds like self confidence issues may be at the heart of your problem. I would try not be cynical, but you may be right about not dating right now, at least until you get some things sorted out for yourself. Pray for ways to increase your confidence, and remember that God made you, and he doesn't make mistakes.

Your fear is actually giving sin power over you regardless of whether you sin or not. Remember that we will not be tempted beyond what we can bear as per 1 Corinthians 10
13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.



Don't give in to your fear of sin. Your redeemer has freed you from bondage once and for all. The temptation may become great, and it may feel impossible, but it's never beyond what you can bear. Now, if you're not strong in your walk with Christ, then that may make the difference between failure and success. Cry out in the agony of your heart when you feel tempted, pray daily. And you are not alone whether you are married or not. You need to talk to brothers and sisters in Christ. Some may run for the hills, but others will help you. Seriously. That's the entire point of the church being the body of Christ.

Thank you ServantStrike. It's much appreciated. I am so wanting to know what does God want in purpose to marriage. Does he want me to be like Jeremiah, Paul, and Elijah and simply not marry? If he does, I would surely love to feel more comfortable with that. I have the feeling that may be the answer for it. I simply can't picture myself married. Besides, it's like it was said: I can do much more for Christ by being single and unencumbered by family needs. I can serve devotedly. So it would sound like celibacy is awesome and the right decision. But why can I not just accept it and move on with it? Why do I seem to have a hangup with becoming a "eunuch for the Kingdom"?

It's this decision that is the toughest and often drags me down. While everybody goes out on dates and has a family, I find myself all alone because I want to be celibate. I do want to be a lifetime celibate, though I'm not Catholic. I just would like to be more acceptable than it is, though. All I need to do is start resisting temptation, loneliness, and fear. More than a conqueror.

I guess celibacy is meant to be a lonely status. Pray that God keeps loneliness away and at bay.

Dear brother in Christ( Tyc113) I know of no brother or sister who has not gotten a reality check from our loving Jesus! The point of this self examination,is not to condemn yourself!!( rom 8:1) But never think that by our own works we can ever establish anything!( 2 cor 13:5)

I sure know I did my best to as i was first a believer! We think by not doing sins we please the Lord.But how can we not sin when out mind is so very sin conscious? Hence the need for God's Word in our life everyday!! So that we in him my do this.( Col 3:2) ( rom 12:1-2)

Sin always has and always will travel first to our minds bro. Ask Adam who listened to his wife instead of the Lord.( gen 3:17) Both the enemy and our flesh as you well know can surly speak to our minds! We need a mountain to block this,hence God's own Word is our very mountain!! example( look close at matt 3:17) Then notice the temptation by the devil to omit that word beloved!!( matt 4:3) Jesus being God himself could have told the devil this, and he would have been right,but look what Jesus himself did!!verse 4 he used the Word!!( deut 8:3) again in verse 6 the devil omitted words to his reciting of scripture!!( psalms 91:11-12!)

Again Jesus used the Word against the devil!! verse 7( Deut 6:16!!) yet again in verse 10!! ( Deut 10:20!) why you may ask??because of this bro!! ( Psalms 138:2!!) For you have magnified YOUR word according to all YOUR name! Our own words do not work bro,that is why we stay in the word to defeat the enemy and our sorry flesh!

We must discipline our flesh bro!! ( 1 cor 9:27!!) Now this most radical statement! Many will get upset at this bro,but this is the truth in love never the less!! No one goes to hell because of sin!! They go to hell because they do not believe our Jesus paid the full price for our sins!

Does grace mean we can do anything we wish?? LOl may it never be bro! But Jesus has freed us from the law! The law was placed to bring the jews to an end unto themselves! In fact the power of sin itself is the law!!( 1 cor 15:56!!) It is not that the law of God was not perfect!! It was,but there was one giant problem!!No one can keep the law!

Jesus did, and fulfilled it,so that when Jesus became forsaken by the Father himself,we would never have to be! Hence why grace is not worked for,not deserved in any way! But the very will of God is to be and always stay thankful!!( 1 thess 5:18) The Word brother, always the Word!!

Opinion are like backsides,we all have them,but the Word of God is not to be just read, but acted upon,( james 1:22) because good brother we believe!! Unbelief is the only sin not covered by the Lord's blood,many wish it were,but if it was we would have no freedom,and Jesus came to set us all free in him!( john 8:36!!)

I show the Word to you brother, because only by the Word can each of us ever stay free in our Jesus!!Do not draw away from him because of your feeling or emotions!!Draw to him!! Brother i had to find this out the hard way,I pray you do not!God does hid from us!!( Isaiah 45:15) And the reason brother is so we find out just how much we truly do believe!!( 2 Chron 32:31!!) God left him alone only to test him that he might know all that was in his heart!

God knows, but if we have no tests brother how then can we ourselves measure how much we really do believe??( 1 peter 1:6-9!!) The secret good brother to becoming an overcomer through our Jesus is to have his very foundation of his own love for us established in us!!

To be deeply rooted and grounded in his love!!( eph 3:16-19) I tell you this brother to show you just how great God's love for you truly is!! The ball is now in your court!Will you be moved by others opinions,or by the very Word that gave birth to us all who believe!! I encourage you good brother to believe!!It is not easy,the road is narrow, and few stay on this road,because few of us are willing to place Jesus above all things,including ourself!!( proverbs 3:6!!

All, means all brother!! From all of this, the result I can tell you!!( philp 4:4-9!!!) verse 7!! perfect peace becomes established!!We good brother are all a work in progress!!( Phil 1:6) But through our Lord Jesus he and he alone can and will prefect us through him! We just have to believe!! When people say you are dead,when the situation look like we are dead, Jesus says!!! ONLY BELIEVE!!( Mark 5:35-36) because??( luke 1:37!!!) Blessing to you brother go forth and be who you already are in Jesus!! A Conquer!!!( rom 8:37!) We are not looking to become one brother!! Through our Lord Jesus we already are ones!!For we are his very children!! May the Lord himself strengthen you through his very word!! amen!

Tyc113, This is one of the realest cries for help I've ever saw in a forum. God bless you brother.
Now I too have been affected in my life by this epidemic that's sweeping the nation and taking our youth hostage.
The fact is, you may have tried everything within human power to give it up and step away from it. You may have been praying and praying for the strength to overcome it.

That just may be the problem.
Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. John 15:4

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

You have to stop taking it all upon yourself to kick your porn addiction. You haven't failed God. He's waiting for you to ask him to take over the fight. The slave doesn't tell the Master whelp, that's enough. Someone must bind the Master first.
Yet you do not have because you do not ask. James 4:2

Remember you cannot do it on your own.

without Me youcan do nothing. John 15:5

God bless you in your fight brother!