whats up dude,
i am in your same shoes, i was sexually molested by a gay uncle at age 8. after that i saw my friends parents have sex and it kept getting more vivid in my brain. same thing like you watching the free HBO sex to find Mags and to even trying to get a free look at Vids.
My life has been in sex addiction where i always thought of it and every night i needed my Thing to go down so i'll serve myself. I'am 31 now, and I have no wife and it's not easy to say Find a wife because in todays world no one takes the values seriously anymore so I don't want to waste my time. and most woman my age have kids and been married so it's hard.
Long story short, We have a mental condition that only the Lord can fix, I love sex, I love females, The devil has worked very hard to corrupt our minds and could we fight the urge... YES! but is it hard YES! I am not going to lie, I get Mad at the fact that every morning i get so in the mood i can't do anything i get angry at my self and the Rules of sex. what i am trying to say is Do what makes you happy. Try to control it, if it means put Ice on your John DO IT! i haven't i just pray for my John to go down and that works for me but the thoughts are in my mind everyday and i just want to get it over with. the reason why im reading your story. it's a Sin, I feel that it is.
Don't do it and i know its hard man. Trust me, even if i am trying to go into the Lord ways I see a beautiful lady and i can't stop to thinking of making her my girl for it. dude Sex has messed up our weak brains and the only person who can help is our Lord.
Pray Hard dude every day and every night for healing is the only thing anyone could tell you. NO ONE CAN HELP US but the Lord. Best of luck dude. i'm 3/4 months clean with out doing anything with it or look at Porn. PRAY! =]