Why are people on this site so rude?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
I agree that I am far from perfect, and I err on this front. But on reflection, I just don't see the value in my forcing my opinion on others. Why don't I just put it out there, and if there's any truth in it, let that prevail. I'm not in a competition.

I also need to take time to consider if what I'm about to say may unnecessarily offend someone, and if it will then out of love I ought not say it, or change it to a fashion that is innocuous but will still get my point of view out into the discussion.

Another thing I need to think about, is if I am considering initiating a thread on a particular topic, will it be unnecessarily contentious, and create unwarranted conflict.

We've all had this scripture put before our eyes at some time or other....."This is how the world will truly know you are my disciples, the love you have (and show) towards each other". If I'm slinging demeaning and derogatory words at my Christian brother or sister, I can't see how I am loving them, and therefore I can't claim to be acting like a true disciple of Jesus.

We are all here under His banner, it is displayed in the title of this services/site, and whatever we say and do must give honour/be honourable towards Him. If you ever see me being dishonourable towards God and His ways, please pull me up, for I fear insulting or mocking Him in any way as I know it will not work out well for me.
 

posthuman

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2013
37,833
13,558
113
I agree that I am far from perfect, and I err on this front. But on reflection, I just don't see the value in my forcing my opinion on others. Why don't I just put it out there, and if there's any truth in it, let that prevail. I'm not in a competition.

I also need to take time to consider if what I'm about to say may unnecessarily offend someone, and if it will then out of love I ought not say it, or change it to a fashion that is innocuous but will still get my point of view out into the discussion.

Another thing I need to think about, is if I am considering initiating a thread on a particular topic, will it be unnecessarily contentious, and create unwarranted conflict.

We've all had this scripture put before our eyes at some time or other....."This is how the world will truly know you are my disciples, the love you have (and show) towards each other". If I'm slinging demeaning and derogatory words at my Christian brother or sister, I can't see how I am loving them, and therefore I can't claim to be acting like a true disciple of Jesus.

We are all here under His banner, it is displayed in the title of this services/site, and whatever we say and do must give honour/be honourable towards Him. If you ever see me being dishonourable towards God and His ways, please pull me up, for I fear insulting or mocking Him in any way as I know it will not work out well for me.
at the same time there are plenty of examples of Christ speaking to people - not only His accusers - in ways a lot of people would say are intolerably rude nowadays. even on the road to Emmaus, He called the disciples "foolish and slow to believe!" ((Luke 24:25)) -- now what if someone said that to you when they replied to your post? and the epistles tell us to earnestly contend for the faith, and not suffer false teachers to go on teaching, but to oppose them, and to rebuke them.
we need discernment too! Lord, grant it!


so it's not as simple as "just be nice; you're criticized don't argue, and if someone is saying things that aren't right let them be, God will sort it out" -- Christianity isn't "niceness" but truth.

yet gently as doves, and wise as serpents.

it's hard -- it really is. just being sweet all the time & avoiding all confrontation would be easy.
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
at the same time there are plenty of examples of Christ speaking to people - not only His accusers - in ways a lot of people would say are intolerably rude nowadays. even on the road to Emmaus, He called the disciples "foolish and slow to believe!" ((Luke 24:25)) -- now what if someone said that to you when they replied to your post? and the epistles tell us to earnestly contend for the faith, and not suffer false teachers to go on teaching, but to oppose them, and to rebuke them.
we need discernment too! Lord, grant it!


so it's not as simple as "just be nice; you're criticized don't argue, and if someone is saying things that aren't right let them be, God will sort it out" -- Christianity isn't "niceness" but truth.

yet gently as doves, and wise as serpents.

it's hard -- it really is. just being sweet all the time & avoiding all confrontation would be easy.

...yes, which is why I use the adjectives "unnecessary" and "unwarranted", and the adverb "unnecessarily" in my self-check list. If having analysed the situation, the antonyms of those seem more appropriate, then I need to man up and deliver, irrespective of the ramifications. That is love in action as well, and likewise if people feel I need advice or correction after having applied an identical self-check as I have, I hope that they love me enough to deliver those to me. That I am man enough to take it on the chin or not, is not their problem, it's mine!
 

bluewriter

Junior Member
Mar 14, 2016
103
36
28
I looked and the vision is of course commendable.

The video presentation is in a good diction and auditory phonology - the spacing between your spoken breath pauses is at times, time lapsed, and I assume that is because you were reading from a screen prompt that didn't load in the appropriate spoken clausal phrases. You did mange to cover it on several occasions by spoken emphasis on the connecting words - but you may want to rewrite the prompt load (screen read) to remove that small production fault.

You present well and your body and facial physiognomy is almost perfect.

Hope that helps.
That was deep bro - but encouraging. Thank you! I actually memorized the whole thing and had trouble recalling it. So, the guy who made the video for me edited together my cuts and spliced them together really well. Much credit goes to him as well.


Thank you.
 

Rhomphaeam

Active member
Dec 14, 2021
832
218
43
England
www.nblc.church
That was deep bro - but encouraging. Thank you! I actually memorized the whole thing and had trouble recalling it. So, the guy who made the video for me edited together my cuts and spliced them together really well. Much credit goes to him as well.


Thank you.
Just to say it - because I think sometimes reality needs to be stated plainly. At least in Christian circles it does. On forums its like ploughing through a mental health ward with a flagon of mead and a 10mg syringe and then realising that the entire cohort are faking being tee total and stubbornly refuse common sense - believing that being just plain stupid is actually a measure of godliness - only to find that inside they are screaming their anger if only they could get the 2 gallon flagon out of your hands and push the 10mg into your backside. In short - challenging.

From birth to aged ten I was physically and mentally abused very severely by my mother. And then from aged ten to seventeen I was in special needs residential care where I was sexually abused by the deputy head for years. Aged seventeen years I was thrown out of care with no ongoing support whatsoever. I ended up in prison and after seven years of complete insanity and appalling homelessness - when I wasn't in prison and sleeping on benches, in abandoned warehouses and by the bank of rivers - all in-between work and mental health chaos - I got saved aged 24. Most of that - is NOT equal to what I have seen and witnessed in the churches - by believers against believers.

So I come out of prison and tell the brother I knew in prison - a man who was beginning to fall back into dependance upon the world that he ought not to take his stand on his own council or his own understanding - but to wholly look to Christ no matter what life threw at him as a Christian. He thought that the church was just peachy because it put him in the pulpit to tell the whole church how wonderful Christ was because he could now work in a school and find respect.

I knew the church was filled with broken and abused people and that just digging into the top soil would uncover a stinking mess. That man - having been saved in prison himself and enduring a similar life ought to have known that he needed to keep hold of Christ and to leave the pain and the world behind him and trust not his own flesh or his experience or his skills to tell everyone about his past. He thought I was being super spiritual - too intelligent - too judgemental because I refused to speak of my past life - as he did in the church - but I would only bear witness of Christ.

He married a school teacher - had two children - became a radio host and built a replica prison cell that he took around the country warning school children not to go to prison. I warned him for six months to keep his eyes on Christ. He backslid - fell into adultery and then the Lord took his second born child. He broke his wife and threw his faith into the gutter an utterly broken man - more broken that ever his upbringing had broken him.

I have spent my entire ministry taking those in the churches in leadership to task privately who mistakenly cover up the flesh with a fine garment that seems ever so decent - when true decency is the Cross and the grave - thereto resurrection and the throne room of the Father in Christ. And if we ever loose sight of that we will just be planting seeds into imperfect soil. I scrubbed up real well - but I am never shy to just draw back the veil for everyone I meet and to show them that things are not what they seem when what is seen covers up sin and death. So no whitewashing the tomb.

Those whom you will serve from the tent to the field need more than a parade and a hope in this life - they need more than anything else the power to know that this cleaned up garment when we get saved is just skin deep and then there is a pit of sin and death waiting for those who don't fearfully trust God for their very daily bread.

Thats in the British cadence and we don't make flowery in sentiment what ought to be sober in truth.

So here is the plain truth, brother. You are clean not only because you are washed in the blood but also because you didn't fall into the gutter in the first place. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise in a folly of pretence because they cannot bear with the fact that their works are always having to be renewed. Those who will fund your work - will try to shape your spiritual direction. Don't take the money if you are pressed into a parade and a cover for hypocrisy. Be the man you are - and have mercy on those who are broken whom the Lord will save until they can bear to eat meat and stop demanding milk - even though we minister to their minds also.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
my look in to 22mana.com

I cant see the vid it wont play for me
so I just read what was on the site

I dont understand why christian farmers who might be retiring in south illinois are not just gifting their land ...does it need to be someone has to buy it?

Also, how many people would you plan to accomodate, would it be kind of like a refugee camp?

I know the salvation army once owned an island in my city to rehab drunkards. (it is now a wildlife sanctuary)
I also know that there are plans for a rehab farm further up north...the only thing is, why would you advertise that on a site that reaches worldwide to people that dont live in southern illinois. I suppose thats not your intent if its an appeal within your own churches or a pledge but I dont know the best way to go about that.

I just rememeber one of the touching stories that it seems turned out to be a scam which was building schools in Pakistan where the money got appropriated for something else. I think it was called Three cups of Tea. while people may be generous and thats all good one has to be careful about intentions as long as someone doesnt take over and ruin it (Jim jones anyone) the farm also needs to be productive for it to earn its keep i.e make sure the soil is fertile or you'll habe a hard time of it. Regenerative agriculture takes people who know what they are doing it would have to be totally organic because exposing people to chemical fertilisers and farm machinery and what not isnt the way to go. The thing is you would then need to lease homes and land to people they are not suddently going to be able to afford their own land after how long working on this farm. And they might not be able to afford anything besides having seasonal farm work which requires that you move from place to place.

So will you have gypsy caravans or something or will you help people get their own plot of land. Cos even people who are not drunk or addicted cannot afford a home.

There are many womens refuges operating anonymously and I dont think its people bought those homes I think theyve all been gifted as refuges. I dont know how long they stay there though, though all they are asking for is a safe place where they wont be beaten up
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
Otherwise I think it is a good idea (sort of like wwoofing?) though you might want to give examples of where this has actually worked elsewhere too.

I dont think there are many kibbutzes left in Israel which is run along similar lines. Many addicts might respond to looking after farm animals, esp horses but I dont know if they can at first be expected to work hard as many will not be in their right minds.

the thing with the rehab being on the island was that if someone was very desperate for a alcohol, they had to swim to the city to get a drink as alcohol was not allowed on the island. .
 

bluewriter

Junior Member
Mar 14, 2016
103
36
28
Just to say it - because I think sometimes reality needs to be stated plainly. At least in Christian circles it does. On forums its like ploughing through a mental health ward with a flagon of mead and a 10mg syringe and then realising that the entire cohort are faking being tee total and stubbornly refuse common sense - believing that being just plain stupid is actually a measure of godliness - only to find that inside they are screaming their anger if only they could get the 2 gallon flagon out of your hands and push the 10mg into your backside. In short - challenging.

From birth to aged ten I was physically and mentally abused very severely by my mother. And then from aged ten to seventeen I was in special needs residential care where I was sexually abused by the deputy head for years. Aged seventeen years I was thrown out of care with no ongoing support whatsoever. I ended up in prison and after seven years of complete insanity and appalling homelessness - when I wasn't in prison and sleeping on benches, in abandoned warehouses and by the bank of rivers - all in-between work and mental health chaos - I got saved aged 24. Most of that - is NOT equal to what I have seen and witnessed in the churches - by believers against believers.

So I come out of prison and tell the brother I knew in prison - a man who was beginning to fall back into dependance upon the world that he ought not to take his stand on his own council or his own understanding - but to wholly look to Christ no matter what life threw at him as a Christian. He thought that the church was just peachy because it put him in the pulpit to tell the whole church how wonderful Christ was because he could now work in a school and find respect.

I knew the church was filled with broken and abused people and that just digging into the top soil would uncover a stinking mess. That man - having been saved in prison himself and enduring a similar life ought to have known that he needed to keep hold of Christ and to leave the pain and the world behind him and trust not his own flesh or his experience or his skills to tell everyone about his past. He thought I was being super spiritual - too intelligent - too judgemental because I refused to speak of my past life - as he did in the church - but I would only bear witness of Christ.

He married a school teacher - had two children - became a radio host and built a replica prison cell that he took around the country warning school children not to go to prison. I warned him for six months to keep his eyes on Christ. He backslid - fell into adultery and then the Lord took his second born child. He broke his wife and threw his faith into the gutter an utterly broken man - more broken that ever his upbringing had broken him.

I have spent my entire ministry taking those in the churches in leadership to task privately who mistakenly cover up the flesh with a fine garment that seems ever so decent - when true decency is the Cross and the grave - thereto resurrection and the throne room of the Father in Christ. And if we ever loose sight of that we will just be planting seeds into imperfect soil. I scrubbed up real well - but I am never shy to just draw back the veil for everyone I meet and to show them that things are not what they seem when what is seen covers up sin and death. So no whitewashing the tomb.

Those whom you will serve from the tent to the field need more than a parade and a hope in this life - they need more than anything else the power to know that this cleaned up garment when we get saved is just skin deep and then there is a pit of sin and death waiting for those who don't fearfully trust God for their very daily bread.

Thats in the British cadence and we don't make flowery in sentiment what ought to be sober in truth.

So here is the plain truth, brother. You are clean not only because you are washed in the blood but also because you didn't fall into the gutter in the first place. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise in a folly of pretence because they cannot bear with the fact that their works are always having to be renewed. Those who will fund your work - will try to shape your spiritual direction. Don't take the money if you are pressed into a parade and a cover for hypocrisy. Be the man you are - and have mercy on those who are broken whom the Lord will save until they can bear to eat meat and stop demanding milk - even though we minister to their minds also.
I appreciate everything you've said and I can tell, you and I would get along great! You're like a man after my own heart. You have a powerful testimony and I'm thankful you've committed your ways unto the Lord.

The only thing you might be wrong about is that I also crawled out of the gutter. I was an atheist until I was 19. And I have fallen back into the ways of the world a few times with my own sins (in response to overwhelming sorrows in my life - too many to name). I repented each time and each time Christ forgave me and put me back into His service. I'm no angel. I do have great compassion for humans and a desire that we follow Christ's commands to the best of our ability so that we can honor Him. He likes that about me, so, He's giving me this opportunity to help people for His Name's sake. And I'm grateful for it.
 

bluewriter

Junior Member
Mar 14, 2016
103
36
28
Otherwise I think it is a good idea (sort of like wwoofing?) though you might want to give examples of where this has actually worked elsewhere too.

I dont think there are many kibbutzes left in Israel which is run along similar lines. Many addicts might respond to looking after farm animals, esp horses but I dont know if they can at first be expected to work hard as many will not be in their right minds.

the thing with the rehab being on the island was that if someone was very desperate for a alcohol, they had to swim to the city to get a drink as alcohol was not allowed on the island. .
I read both your replies. The idea is that they will help with the husbandry and agriculture we decide to manage on the land. We will do our best to incorporate them back into society when they feel they have reached a position of healing and stability - that takes a while for people who've been surviving day to day for years of their lives. Those who are employed will be welcome to stay until they've saved enough to feel comfortable moving into their own place.

Part of my reasoning in starting a farm is that it will be out in the country. If it's in town and all an addict has to do is open the front door to get drugs, it's doomed to failure. A 10-20 mile walk to town gives them time to rethink their decision.

I know it will be difficult and there are challenges I have yet to even think of, but I believe 100% that God is with me on this. It's going to happen.
 

bluewriter

Junior Member
Mar 14, 2016
103
36
28
A guy named "subhumanoidal" shows up on a thread titled "Why are people on this site so rude?" and thumbs down my posts about helping homeless and addicted people in the name of Christ.

He totally lived up to his name on this thread.
 
Jan 5, 2022
1,224
620
113
37
"A higher plane," hehe
www.youtube.com
Well my longstanding theory goes something like: those Christians who are healthy and solid enough to get along in community with people in the real world generally prefer real world interactions and do most of their interacting there. Those who aren't come around online communities and complain about how horrible all the churches and Christians are for rejecting them and usually come across as believing that they believe themselves to be the only one to have discovered "true" Christianity and anyone who disagrees with them isn't really a Christian.

But you gotta remember that many of the people who are most active in such an online Christian forum are the ones who couldn't get along well in church with other real life people.
I gotta hand it to ya, sister, you are not shy about speaking your mind and laying it out like you see it! :D

And despite some of the negative emotes on your post, I think there IS a fair bit of truth to it. Though we cannot generalize about every case. I think there are other reasons why people might be active here too. (At home more during pandemic, illness keeping ppl at home, spend a lot of time on computer anyways, etc.)
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,354
9,369
113
A guy named "subhumanoidal" shows up on a thread titled "Why are people on this site so rude?" and thumbs down my posts about helping homeless and addicted people in the name of Christ.

He totally lived up to his name on this thread.
Subhumanoidal is an old hand in the forum. He is sometimes blunt, but usually right on target. If he says something to you, whether you like it or not, it is advisable to at least listen to what he says.
 

Amanuensis

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2021
1,457
460
83
Two main reasons:

1) Sin. They're sinning. They need to repent and quit it.
2) They think they are battling with false teachers and doctrines of demons and are supposed to "contend for the faith" but they are really just arguing with a knucklehead and have fallen into sinning again and they need to repent and quit it.

So I guess that is really just one main reason. Sin.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
I read both your replies. The idea is that they will help with the husbandry and agriculture we decide to manage on the land. We will do our best to incorporate them back into society when they feel they have reached a position of healing and stability - that takes a while for people who've been surviving day to day for years of their lives. Those who are employed will be welcome to stay until they've saved enough to feel comfortable moving into their own place.

Part of my reasoning in starting a farm is that it will be out in the country. If it's in town and all an addict has to do is open the front door to get drugs, it's doomed to failure. A 10-20 mile walk to town gives them time to rethink their decision.

I know it will be difficult and there are challenges I have yet to even think of, but I believe 100% that God is with me on this. It's going to happen.
are there not drugdealers in the countryside
drugdealers can deliver, they dont always wait for you to go to them..they are not always in towns.... they have mules, they use mobile phones

just so you are aware, sometimes they hang out in remote areas too. The biggest p labs are in unoccupied holiday homes in richer areas.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
I have worked with PD workers most are happy doing some kind of community work or gardneing but they really do need supervision

however what I noticed is the supervisors who were meant to be watching them just skived off and didnt work with them, the PD workers were doing all the hard labour and the supervisors were just sitting around yakking, smoking, talking on their phones not lifting a finger.

If I was on periodic detention and made to work like a slave (and maybe not even being given any lunch) I am not sure it would reform me any.
 

bluewriter

Junior Member
Mar 14, 2016
103
36
28
Subhumanoidal is an old hand in the forum. He is sometimes blunt, but usually right on target. If he says something to you, whether you like it or not, it is advisable to at least listen to what he says.
I disagree. He's never met me or spoken with me and knows nothing about me.

I messaged him and asked him why he thumbs-downed my posts and told him it seemed immature for him to do so.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,590
17,056
113
69
Tennessee
*shrug

This forum is private property, owned and operated by RoboOp. It's his right to decide what is and is not allowed.

If he decided he didn't want the color orange discussed here, well... it's his forum.
It is my understand that the topic of orange is taboo.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,590
17,056
113
69
Tennessee
Subhumanoidal is an old hand in the forum. He is sometimes blunt, but usually right on target. If he says something to you, whether you like it or not, it is advisable to at least listen to what he says.
I fully concur with your estimation.
 

bluewriter

Junior Member
Mar 14, 2016
103
36
28
are there not drugdealers in the countryside
drugdealers can deliver, they dont always wait for you to go to them..they are not always in towns.... they have mules, they use mobile phones

just so you are aware, sometimes they hang out in remote areas too. The biggest p labs are in unoccupied holiday homes in richer areas.
If people are doing drugs, they will be removed from the land for a period of time. If they repent and want to come back, we'll let them try again (because Jesus would).
 

Rhomphaeam

Active member
Dec 14, 2021
832
218
43
England
www.nblc.church
A guy named "subhumanoidal" shows up on a thread titled "Why are people on this site so rude?" and thumbs down my posts about helping homeless and addicted people in the name of Christ.

He totally lived up to his name on this thread.
Perhaps I can share another element of my walk, brother, for wisdom - and in doing so I hope to be able to demonstrate why I spoke of you not having been in the gutter. Though I did of course read your correction - atheism and sometime disobedience.

The gutter brother is not as we often imagine it to mean. For some the gutter is so appalling that they literally cry continuously and grieve always and shrink back from sin as though from their executioner -and yet they falter and fall into their own vomit.

Many years ago I was blessed to be part of a street team preaching the gospel. My calling is prophetic and so when I preach I find that I often cause a commotion - either in unbelievers or wrongly in backslidden believers if I am a fool. The unbelievers often suddenly start to exhibit demonic traits and threaten death or smash bottles over the heads of those poor evangelist I preach with - who never cause such a commotion.

But I have seen another reality also. This reality is one you are going to have to learn in wisdom because your ministry in service is in a nation that has not hidden the gospel under a bushel - yet has caused many children to stumble into appalling sin - even in the churches - before they fell away into the gutter.

One time when I was preaching there was no outward commotion - rather there was an inward commotion being stirred up in a man who was clearly homeless, a drinker and a man who was in rags. I watched him as I was preaching to the whosoever and discerned that he was both disturbed and at the same time sobered and restrained by an inner knowledge which I could not see. It was his heart that had gripped him and so when I finished preaching I approached him to see what the Lord would do. As soon as he opened his mouth to speak I knew that he was born again. So I called him brother and then asked him what had happened to him.

He had been in seminary to prepare for the pastoral ministry and in his church his own pastor caused him to stumble. Over a very quick period he was so grieved that he could not believe himself fit for seminary and fell away. He quickly began drinking again and became homeless and hopeless. When I met him preaching he had been on the streets for six months.

Because he was a drunkard I shared my own testimony and then told him that the Lord had required me to be tea total because in my flesh I did not know how to moderate drink if I was anxious or else distressed. We parted and he was extremely uplifted. The Lord clearly worked in his heart and gave him what his pastor could not give him. Unconditional love and acceptance in Christ. That was on the Saturday morning.

On Wednesday I was in a public house having lunch and for he first time in many years decided to have a half pint of beer. When I ordered it the Lord spoke to me and reminded me about the brother on Saturday. I ignored the wisdom and took my meal and my beer and sat down. Almost immediately the brother came into this same public house and seeing my beer he almost stumbled backwards and then fled the pub. I never saw him again and looked for him every Saturday for months afterwards.

I foolishly mistook the Lord's hand for a wretched brother - for liberty. Some brethren will question every precept and every desire and every thought you can have which you disclose because you desire to be obedient. And there is nothing you can do about it.

When you said, "He totally lived up to his name on this thread" you were simply speaking about an emoji - and not about words. Yet even the smallest thing can become a basis for others to correct you even when you didn't actually say anything about words.

So when I said previously, "You are clean not only because you are washed in the blood but also because you didn't fall into the gutter in the first place." I was offering you prophetic wisdom because in your work many of the people you will be serving are not blind to Christ as we imagine them to be when we believe we have the authority to tell others to repent - before we see that they already have a mustard seed of faith from their childhoods. Those in that condition need to see an upright man who never did fall into the gutter. Shalom brother.