Would you or do you share bank accounts with your spouse?

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toinena

Guest
#261
#261
toinena said:
Yes. It sounds very familiar to here. Some towns have a wave of revival, some places are like spiritually dead. I have found a nice church, but it is 2.5 hours drive from here! And the road toll for getting there is close to 20 GBP plus diesel one way!
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I do pray for a revival here, though. I would love to host a house church. I pray God will lead the right people at the right time my way to make it happen.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#262
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
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#262
Bsorh said:
Me personally, I have had a bad experience on three separate occasions with adding a wife to mine bank accounts. Obviously there was a desire on my part to show Trust and value for the people that I were married to. Unfortunately in our society in America all your wife has to do is wake up mad at you one morning and go and file for divorce and take everything out of the joint accounts while you were out of town working. I don't recommend this as a rule to have completely joint accounts. But I do recommend having a joint account. I will never again deposit my paycheck into a joint account but I will deposit my paycheck into an account completely in my control and then transfer money from that one into a joint account each month. It is ironic that I have never had any desire really to be on the accounts of people that I was married to because my heart was to provide for them not to try and See's Park control or full control over their financials. I suppose the best course of action is to really ask why it is necessary for so many women to believe that they should have unfettered access to all Financial accounts for their husband. I really don't think it is necessary for them to have access to anyting but a single joint account. I also highly doubt that giving one's Wife full access to all financials with something that has been practiced often in the history of the world. Perhaps that is why I fared so badly when I tried to do so because people should not get married for the purpose of gaining Financial control over another they should marry because they want to serve Christ together and to be a helpmate and a comfort to one another.
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3 marriages. I'd give up if I were you.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#264
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
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#264
Bsorh said:
Why would I give up? I didn't violate my covenant. I'm not responsible for the sins of others.
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There are two obvious reasons.

A) You have been married 3 times. I'll give anyone a mulligan on the first, possibly the second time, that it was the others fault. But lightning doesn't strike that many times in the same spot, so when you're pointing fingers, 3 more are pointing back. So I'd say it likely has something to do with you. Therefore marriage is probably not for you.

B) You make terrible decisions in choosing a spouse, so in that case, marriage is probably not for you.
 
K

keep_on_smiling

Guest
#265
#265
I don't think there is any reason to have separate bank accounts when you are married. If you don't trust the person you are going to marry, you shouldn't be marrying them.

I know there are times when spouses have completely changed, which is scary, but I think in the situation, you'd just have to trust the Lord that things would work out.
 
Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#266
Jan 15, 2011
6,069
3,455
113
#266
Tommy379 said:
There are two obvious reasons.

A) You have been married 3 times. I'll give anyone a mulligan on the first, possibly the second time, that it was the others fault. But lightning doesn't strike that many times in the same spot, so when you're pointing fingers, 3 more are pointing back. So I'd say it likely has something to do with you. Therefore marriage is probably not for you.

B) You make terrible decisions in choosing a spouse, so in that case, marriage is probably not for you.
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My thoughts exactly. When someone has been divorced that many times either they are a significant contributor to the issues that bring on the divorce or the other option is that (as a therapist I knew years ago used to say) their chooser is broken.
 
Mel85

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
#267
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,897
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#267
Tommy379 said:
There are two obvious reasons.

A) You have been married 3 times. I'll give anyone a mulligan on the first, possibly the second time, that it was the others fault. But lightning doesn't strike that many times in the same spot, so when you're pointing fingers, 3 more are pointing back. So I'd say it likely has something to do with you. Therefore marriage is probably not for you.

B) You make terrible decisions in choosing a spouse, so in that case, marriage is probably not for you.
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Scenario: I sit my drivers licence for the first time. I studied but I failed.

I sit my drivers licence the second time. I still failed.

I sit it again for the third time. I still studied but I still failed.

Does this mean that driving is not for me? No. I know people who’ve been in that drivers licence scenario before and for one of them, it took him 4 attempts to sit his drivers licence before “he got it”.
 
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toinena

Guest
#268
#268
Mel85 said:
Scenario: I sit my drivers licence for the first time. I studied but I failed.

I sit my drivers licence the second time. I still failed.

I sit it again for the third time. I still studied but I still failed.

Does this mean that driving is not for me? No. I know people who’ve been in that drivers licence scenario before and for one of them, it took him 4 attempts to sit his drivers licence before “he got it”.
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Oh... I know some of those! Their attention is fragile, the stress level is disturbing and the driving unsafe. I wouldn't let a person with 4th time lucky drive me nor my car.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#269
Aug 13, 2014
27,677
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#269
Mel85 said:
Scenario: I sit my drivers licence for the first time. I studied but I failed.

I sit my drivers licence the second time. I still failed.

I sit it again for the third time. I still studied but I still failed.

Does this mean that driving is not for me? No. I know people who’ve been in that drivers licence scenario before and for one of them, it took him 4 attempts to sit his drivers licence before “he got it”.
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Inappropriate analogy. A driver's license test is nothing like a marriage.

But even if it were... I would be very nervous driving anywhere near the dude who had to take his driver's license test four times to pass.
 
Mel85

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
#270
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,897
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#270
Lynx said:
Inappropriate analogy. A driver's license test is nothing like a marriage.

But even if it were... I would be very nervous driving anywhere near the dude who had to take his driver's license test four times to pass.
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Obviously you didn’t get what I was implying. It’s not about the “driver’s licence test”.
 
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toinena

Guest
#271
#271
Mel85 said:
Obviously you didn’t get what I was implying. It’s not about the “driver’s licence test”.
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I think I got the allegory. It goes for both driving and marriage. If you haven't got the first or second right and still fail at your fourth, then how could you think you should pull through the fifth time. Universities have a 3 times rule. When you have flunked a subject three times you are out. It should be the same in marriage.

That said. The driver or the divorced may have had a divine encounter and a miraculous change of heart and character. I have yet to see that.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#272
Aug 13, 2014
27,677
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#272
Mel85 said:
Obviously you didn’t get what I was implying. It’s not about the “driver’s licence test”.
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I know exactly what you meant, but the analogy you used was not fitting for the point you were trying to make.

1. Driving is somewhat essential. I have to be able to drive to work. I don't have to be married. I've been single for a long time and I'm getting by just fine.

2. Driving is a test of motor skills, perception and reflexes. Marriage is a test of very different things (although reflexes can be tested in marriage too, if the couple argues by throwing things at each other...)

3. When you fail a driving test, you are not allowed to drive on public roads. When you fail a marriage, there are a lot worse things than not being married anymore. Failing a marriage is more like wrecking a car than failing a driver's license test.

That last one, number 3, that is the most important. When you fail a driver's license test you fail. Oh well, pay a couple bucks and try again. When you fail a marriage there's a lot of damage done. The more marriages you try, the more damage you pile up.
 
Mel85

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
#273
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,897
113
#273
Lynx said:
I know exactly what you meant, but the analogy you used was not fitting for the point you were trying to make.

1. Driving is somewhat essential. I have to be able to drive to work. I don't have to be married. I've been single for a long time and I'm getting by just fine.

2. Driving is a test of motor skills, perception and reflexes. Marriage is a test of very different things (although reflexes can be tested in marriage too, if the couple argues by throwing things at each other...)

3. When you fail a driving test, you are not allowed to drive on public roads. When you fail a marriage, there are a lot worse things than not being married anymore. Failing a marriage is more like wrecking a car than failing a driver's license test.

That last one, number 3, that is the most important. When you fail a driver's license test you fail. Oh well, pay a couple bucks and try again. When you fail a marriage there's a lot of damage done. The more marriages you try, the more damage you pile up.
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*Looks up*

You make me not want to marry.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#274
Aug 13, 2014
27,677
9,612
113
#274
Mel85 said:
*Looks up*

You make me not want to marry.
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And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is probably the best advice you will find on this whole thread. Never marry a nerd. Nerds will always spot logic inconsistencies and they WILL mention them. Marrying a nerd is the quickest way to get an ulcer.

And that is probably why I'm still happily single. Being a nerd is a great life, and very peaceful. :cool:
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#276
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#276
Mel85 said:
Scenario: I sit my drivers licence for the first time. I studied but I failed.

I sit my drivers licence the second time. I still failed.

I sit it again for the third time. I still studied but I still failed.

Does this mean that driving is not for me? No. I know people who’ve been in that drivers licence scenario before and for one of them, it took him 4 attempts to sit his drivers licence before “he got it”.
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The drivers test has got to be the easiest test ever made. If you fail the first time, just plan on using Uber the rest of your life. People deserve to be on the road with drivers who have the capacity for it.
 
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theanointedsinner

Guest
#277
#277
continue to preach edifying words of encouragement
Mel85 said:
Scenario: I sit my drivers licence for the first time. I studied but I failed.

I sit my drivers licence the second time. I still failed.

I sit it again for the third time. I still studied but I still failed.

Does this mean that driving is not for me? No. I know people who’ve been in that drivers licence scenario before and for one of them, it took him 4 attempts to sit his drivers licence before “he got it”.
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L

LittleMermaid

Guest
#278
#278
I like to look at statistics. And statistically speaking, a fourth marriage would be a disaster. :(
I agree with both of ya'll though. If the person wants to try a fourth time...go for it. But tread carefully because the odds are stacked up against you. I think if a man or woman had three marriages without God and on the fourth time they found God...it could be different and beautiful.
I was raised by a single mom...I love to look at all the statistics that I was not a part of. :D
 
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theanointedsinner

Guest
#279
#279
God is not our little mermaid, we are God's little mermaid, as God watch over us
 
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