Midnight Confessions

It’s just a front people are using. Most of us are struggling with different types of issues. Me, I’m struggling with dyslexia, PTSD, and some other stuff.

I'm afraid that no matter how much time passes things will never change. I act weird and people can read me from a mile away. They know I'm awkward and out of place.
There have been so many things I've missed out on...and it's not that I want those years back. I just want to feel normal. Why can't I be a normal 29 year old who has friends and goes out on weekends? It's just another Friday alone with my books and laptop for me. It's been this way all my life. While all the other girls hung out with each other, I stayed home watching tv with my parents. Even my little brother went out.
I don't care about missing out anymore...but now I feel like I lack the skills I should have developed years ago. I work full time and go to school but socially, I'm so behind. I'm alone and it's all my fault.

Do you attend church? I was going to suggest maybe invite a few ladies from church over a couple times a month for maybe a movie, game night, or just tea & fellowship. Or invite ladies from your work. Each person can bring a snack or drinks. You could hold a Bible study in your home, or perhaps a ladies exercise class. Anything where you can make friends and have fun, ya know? I actually did all those things when I was a young Christian because I had moved to a new location and was lonely for fellowship. I met a lot of great friends that way.

Believe me, you are not alone feeling that you're weird, LadyInWaiting. My entire family are weirdo nerds. I'm their leader. We make the best of it by just owning it and laughing about it. But isn't it lots more fun being at liberty and not having to live up to some worldly cookie-cutter standards to fit in? From what I've observed on this site the past several years, I haven't seen too many people I would call "normal" here, have you? I think we fit in pretty well with these bunch of oddballs.

Do you attend church? I was going to suggest maybe invite a few ladies from church over a couple times a month for maybe a movie, game night, or just tea & fellowship. Or invite ladies from your work. Each person can bring a snack or drinks. You could hold a Bible study in your home, or perhaps a ladies exercise class. Anything where you can make friends and have fun, ya know? I actually did all those things when I was a young Christian because I had moved to a new location and was lonely for fellowship. I met a lot of great friends that way.

Believe me, you are not alone feeling that you're weird, LadyInWaiting. My entire family are weirdo nerds. I'm their leader. We make the best of it by just owning it and laughing about it. But isn't it lots more fun being at liberty and not having to live up to some worldly cookie-cutter standards to fit in? From what I've observed on this site the past several years, I haven't seen too many people I would call "normal" here, have you? I think we fit in pretty well with these bunch of oddballs.

I get scared of talking to people because I'm afraid they will think I'm weird. I have social anxiety and that's always prevented me from making lasting friendships. I've come a long ways, but the SA is always there making me feel less interesting or less fun than others. But I like your ideas, Auntie! I'll give them a try. The only problem is that the ladies I go to church with are older than me and they have responsibilities to their families. It can be difficult to just hang out sometimes. You know what I mean? I'm one of the youngest adults at my church. I don't mind being friends with older people. I can't really relate to people in my generation anyways. lol But the women older than me are usually busy with families.

Actually you know what? There was one time around Christmas that they had a party at the church. I went and talked a lot with the ladies group. Unfortunately, one of them told me "Mija, you need to get married soon if you want to have kids."
But I need to try harder, I know it's my fault. I'm going to pray God sends me some Godly friends that I can trust and spend time with.
Thank you for the advice!

I, too had SA when I was around your age. It was such an awful frightening struggle. I honest to goodness had to make sure I had a legit "exit excuse" before I attended any functions just in case I got overwhelmed & wanted to flee. Once I got stuck in the church nursery with one of the most intimidating and snobbiest ladies in the church. I was mortified and wouldn't even speak to her because I was so anxious. We were both sitting in rocking chairs, nursing our babies when she just blurted out, "I bet you think I'm a snob." And I said, "Yep, I do!" And she added, "It's an act. I'm afraid of these women here." She had anxiety, too! Do you know that young woman and I became best of friends, like sisters and our kids grew up together like we were family. You just never know how many other ladies feel the same way you do. Most people struggle with anxiety and fear not fitting in. I think it would be so worth it to step outta your comfort zone to find other women who need your friendship as much as you need theirs.

It’s just a front people are using. Most of us are struggling with different types of issues. Me, I’m struggling with dyslexia, PTSD, and some other stuff.

Wow Sis! You seem super friendly, I would never have guessed that you struggled with SA too. That's a very sweet story. I love how God always finds a way to bless us.

I, too had SA when I was around your age. It was such an awful frightening struggle. I honest to goodness had to make sure I had a legit "exit excuse" before I attended any functions just in case I got overwhelmed & wanted to flee. Once I got stuck in the church nursery with one of the most intimidating and snobbiest ladies in the church. I was mortified and wouldn't even speak to her because I was so anxious. We were both sitting in rocking chairs, nursing our babies when she just blurted out, "I bet you think I'm a snob." And I said, "Yep, I do!" And she added, "It's an act. I'm afraid of these women here." She had anxiety, too! Do you know that young woman and I became best of friends, like sisters and our kids grew up together like we were family. You just never know how many other ladies feel the same way you do. Most people struggle with anxiety and fear not fitting in. I think it would be so worth it to step outta your comfort zone to find other women who need your friendship as much as you need theirs.

I get scared of talking to people because I'm afraid they will think I'm weird. I have social anxiety and that's always prevented me from making lasting friendships. I've come a long ways, but the SA is always there making me feel less interesting or less fun than others. But I like your ideas, Auntie! I'll give them a try. The only problem is that the ladies I go to church with are older than me and they have responsibilities to their families. It can be difficult to just hang out sometimes. You know what I mean? I'm one of the youngest adults at my church. I don't mind being friends with older people. I can't really relate to people in my generation anyways. lol But the women older than me are usually busy with families.

Actually you know what? There was one time around Christmas that they had a party at the church. I went and talked a lot with the ladies group. Unfortunately, one of them told me "Mija, you need to get married soon if you want to have kids."
But I need to try harder, I know it's my fault. I'm going to pray God sends me some Godly friends that I can trust and spend time with.
Thank you for the advice!

That's a really cool story...thanks for the share.

Friendships can occur in some pretty unlikely ways and sometimes are just around the corner. It does usually require us to make an effort and is awkward and anxiety definitely occurs for me but I kind of listen to the Lord in it and plunge sometimes. It gets easier and more fluid but I still retreat socially.

It's like exercising. Gotta work those social muscles. You get sore at first but eventually that goes away...there are times after a hard experience you will be sore again..but keep pressing forward. Dial back at times if you feel wounded. Bring it before the Lord. He doesn't want you alone either. @ Lily or whomever else

I had PTSD for most of my life-I just didn't know it. EMDT(?) helped me a lot.

Let’s see had a emergency last nite, and back to being single all in one nite gee that’s life for yea.

EMDR therapy?

I'm still missing someone who broke my heart. We haven't spoken in months. The parting of ways was very amicable. Its left me feeling as if I'm not good enough. Not pretty enough. I have this southern accent and don't speak professional or fancy or something. I've become very critical of myself and I'm praying about it.

I'm still missing someone who broke my heart. We haven't spoken in months. The parting of ways was very amicable. Its left me feeling as if I'm not good enough. Not pretty enough. I have this southern accent and don't speak professional or fancy or something. I've become very critical of myself and I'm praying about it.

I'm still missing someone who broke my heart. We haven't spoken in months. The parting of ways was very amicable. Its left me feeling as if I'm not good enough. Not pretty enough. I have this southern accent and don't speak professional or fancy or something. I've become very critical of myself and I'm praying about it.