If the Serial Fornicator is More Forgiven and Accepted than the Divorced Person, Why Bother Risking Marriage?

But it can be so hard sometimes. Especially when we are trying to hide our own sin and shine the light on someone else's.

It does'nt matter if your church is quick to judge that if you are divorced, it is automatically your fault, therefore you are adulterous and not allowed to remarry. What matters is that you did the honorable thing to get married and not just fornicate. The solution is to find a better and a real church.

here's a question, does it matter who filed for divorce?

I think it really depends on the situation, but I could be wrong (and am hoping others will answer this question as well to get a wider scope of experience.)

I've heard stories from many people who were not only abandoned by their spouse for another person, but also refused to file because the spouse who left wanted a new life with a new partner but did not want to have to pay any part of a divorce or resulting support.

This put the remaining spouse in a position where they felt they had no other choice but to file.

not to mention automatic restraining orders, and firearms.

I was thinking about this the other day, and whether or not Jesus recognized this woman's 5 marriages as legitimate.

The entire story is found starting in John 4:16, when Jesus says to the woman, "Go, call your husband and come back."

"I have no husband," she replied. Jesus said to her, "You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had 5 husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true."

At face value, it appears that Jesus DID recognize her 5 marriages, but I'm not sure if He said, "You have had 5 husbands" because they were socially legal marriages, or because He Himself was acknowledging that they were true marriages.

And I was always taught that because He told her that "the man you now have is not your husband," it meant that she must have been living with a 6th man whom she was not married to.

Does anyone else have more context on this or was given a different interpretation?

No. The "divorce victim" might be the one to file consequent to the initiator's adultery, abuse, or abandonment. In many cases though, the initiator does the filing and the victim is just left paying the bills and picking up the pieces.

Thank the Lord, salvation is a gift.

There's that scripture that says if a person remarries after a divorce that wasn't due to sexual immorality, then that person is committing adultery, and the one who marries that person is committing adultery. I'm too lazy to look it up..

But that scripture shows that in God's eyes, He still sees that person belonging to their first spouse because adultery cannot happen unless they are cheating on a spouse (or are doing it with a married person).

Another question then.... Should Samson have honored any sense of commitment to Delilah?

would you?

Heeeell NO!!! Samson was a complete muscle bound moron!!! How do you love someone you can't trust? How do you honor and cherish someone who goes out of her way to make herself your enemy? To me, this story only serves to teach women just how much power a woman has over a FOOL'S heart and mind! And, also in my opinion, it potentially illustrates how marrital infidelity is not just limited to sex! Just think, what if Samson had married Delilah?

We all know that Samson had a few issues, to say the least.

One of the most fascinating things to me about Samson is that God apparently backed him in choosing a Philistine wife (the enemies of the Israelites.)

Judges 14 starts out with the story of Samson spotting young Philistine woman (not Delilah, but Samson's first wife, whom the Philistines killed) and telling his parents to get her for him as his wife. His parents, understandably distraught, ask Samson, "Can't you find a suitable wife from among our own people?"

But Samson clearly tells his father, "Get her for me. She's the right one for me."

And, in one of what I think is the most intriguing of all Scriptures, the Bible says: "(Samson's parents) did not know that this was from the Lord, who was seeking an occasion to confront the Philistines, for at that time they were ruling over Israel." (Judges 14: 4.)

Personally, I feel sorry for Samson's parents, because they were just trying to do what any good Israelite parent would have done.

And the questions I've always had were: "Was God LEADING Samson to find a wife among his enemies? Did GOD decide that this young Philistine woman was 'the right one', or was God simply using Samson's choice for His own purpose? Did God somehow influence Samson in that he couldn't find an Israelite woman he liked, and only seemed drawn to Philistine women?"

And, if I'm REALLY honest, my old 5-year-old Sunday School self asks, "DID GOD MAKE IT SO THAT ALL THE ISRAELITE WOMEN AT THE TIME WERE UGLY, AND THE ONLY PRETTY WOMEN SAMSON COULD FIND WERE AMONG THE PHILISTINES?"

Did God actually have it in His heart for Samson to marry a Philistine, or was He just prepared to use Samson's preferences and choice according to His own will? We are always told that God gives us free will, so I certainly don't believe that God caused Samson to fall in love with any particular woman. But if He actually wanted Samson to marry a Philistine, how far does His influence on whom we fall in love with stretch?

Did God desire that Samson should have married Delilah? We would think not, but it was God who directed Hosea to marry Gomer (a prostitute who was serially unfaithful) for His own purpose.

Was the girl Samson actually chose first the right one, but since she was murdered, would God have picked another Philistine woman for him to marry (and not Delilah?)

I don't know. But these are the kinds of things I think about when I read a story like this... (And pretty much gives away the entire thought process through which all of my thread ideas are born.)

Oh, I wholeheartedly believe that God can even use a fool to His purpose... Otherwise, I'd have no hope at all!

Roger that!

I am neither for or against divorce but your argument is not valid.

When two people get married they make a promise to each other before God, they also make a promise to God.

How can you make a promise to God, and then break it and say God doesn't mind?

What a great excuse to get out of marriage. Just blame it on the "fact" that God did not bring them together in the first place. With this excuse anyone can divorce over anything, and speak on behalf of God that He did not bring them together as you've pointed out:
In judges 11:30-40 Jephthah
made a promise to God then regretted it bitterly afterwards, but he still kept the promise. He did not change his mind and say, when I made the promise it was not the will of God so I have all the right to break the promise. No, he actually said: I have opened my mouth unto the Lord, and I cannot go back.

Ecclesiastes 5:1-7 says you are to keep your promise to God. It is better to promise nothing than to promise something and not be able to do it. You can't say, I didn't mean what I say.

For Christians who have had several divorces, and several marriages. How many times should someone turn up at the alter, before God, to marry a new person before they finally get to the point of saying, marriage is not for me. I am going to trust God to give me contentment in being single?

Or should they keep searching for love? Break the law of God with repeated divorce and remarriage that grace may abound?

Is there no limit to the amount of times we can say: God did not in fact join the couple together than there was never a marriage in the first place in the eyes of God?

I wonder if this is the reasoning of the serial fornicators? God is against fornication, so there was no fornication in the first place?

I don't really have any answers. But I've got some questions towards this discussion...the Bible says that when two people marry they become one flesh, right? So when they get divorced does that mean it's like cutting a person down the middle?

I know there is healing and grace. But most people I know who are divorced seem to be a little broken inside. Is this because of the flesh tearing up with the divorce? That's the thing...if you remarry, are you giving only part of yourself to the second marriage? Or is it possible to become one flesh with yet another person?

I'm sorry I hope that's not offensive...it's just something I think about. I have said I wouldn't prefer to marry a man who is divorced but if I fall in love with such a man...it could happen. I would wanna know if he is whole or not. Also, sorry if it derails the thread.
What are some things that a divorced person can do to become whole again? This way they have a better chance at a successful second marriage.

since my wife left, I feel an acute sense of loss, the feeling of half of oneself missing is heavy on the heart. I gave all
I could, until there was nothing good left, just pain and heartache. And now I have no idea who I am or who I will
become.

That's actually a very concrete way of thinking and I like it Lol. But experience has taught me that you only become one flesh if the pieces fit!