I wasn't sure if I should post this on the Young Adults Forum or not. I might be a little too old here (turned 26 last July), and I assume this board is targeted more at the 18-21 crowd. Though, at the same time, a lot of my online interactions have been with young adults/early-mid 20's, so I feel I would relate a little more easily here, maybe.
Anyway, I'm just interested in what your thoughts are on friendships with non-Christians? I know, on one hand, we are called to witness to unbelievers. Though at the same time, there are some verses warning not to be bound with unbelievers, as there is no fellowship with light and darkness.
It's a difficult topic for me personally. I think most of my closest friendships are with unbelievers. Just to give some background information: I have a lot of mental illness/disability related issues and have had a lot of difficulty adjusting out in the 'real world'. (Though, since last summer, I've started taking medications that are starting to help.) So, over the past many years, I've found myself turning to the internet for social interaction, for better or worse.
For the most part, I used to avoid having close relationships even online. For one reason that I just seem to have difficulty connecting to or relating with most people. And also because I just didn't trust people on the internet to be 'real'.
Though in the last several years, I started to change on that, I think just driven through my realization of my loneliness. Since I still have difficulty in the 'real world', I began to find friendships online. Just a few people. I try to be very cautious, and I'm already naturally introverted anyway.
Only one of them is a Christian believer. I know the Lord brought our friendship together, and we have a strong bond in our shared faith. She is a generation or so my elder.
I've tried to visit more Christian communities online over the past couple of years. There are many nice communities, but I guess for me personally, I have trouble fitting in. I think a part of that is also the generational thing. On most places I visit, it seems like most of the believers are a couple of generations ahead of me. So I always feel out of place, I find it hard to find people closer to my own time to identify with.
So what's happened is, for better or worse, I've found that most of my close friendships of recent years has been on the more 'secular' game sites I've visited over the past decade or so. Unfortunately I have a hard time finding Christians on those sites. But there are a few people I've felt very connected to. The problem is they aren't believers, which makes me feel uneasy. My mindset is that your closest friends should probably share your spiritual commitment to Christ.
There is also a part of me that thinks that God also brought those people into my life to witness to them. For the three people I'm mainly thinking of, I've found opportunity over the past couple of years to share my faith with them. They didn't seem hostile to what I shared. They were glad I shared it with them. For the third person, I haven't quite found a good conversation opportunity to bring it up yet.
I've also shared a lot about my mental health/real life-related difficulties with them and struggling through them, which is the main way I've connected with those three people.
I've prayed extensively for the salvation of all three of them. And I believe God has given me a few signs, especially over the last month or so, to keep praying and to expect good results to come of this.
At the same time, I'm also concerned I might be compromised by more selfish desires. I think there is a part of me that just wants to be friends with them just for the sake of having friends to be companions with.
I only still hear from one of the three unbelievers regularly, every week or so we'll write back and forth. I had only gotten to know her this year.
The other two, I haven't heard from in a long time, and those were the two I had prayed the hardest for in the last few years.
One told me she wanted a close friendship, and I saw a lot of signs that God wanted me to witness to her, though she sort of disappeared this year. I think she's still active online, but she seems to avoid writing to me. I wondered if I put too much pressure on her to grow a friendship which is difficult for her own introversion, or if maybe it's more of a spiritual warfare thing getting in the way.
Another one of these friends hasn't spoken to me for years. We had a few heated arguments about how well our friendship was functioning. I tried to apologize for my part in the arguments, but I think I estranged her too much with harsh things I said at the time. And any time I tried to reach out to her again, she had an extreme dislike of me, she seemed like a different person. The Holy Spirit warned me to my mind one day to keep a safe distance from her because she was surrounded in darkness. I've been praying for reconciliation of this friendship for the past few years.
Anyway, that's basically all I wanted to share in this topic. I'm not sure if I'm making a big mistake when I let myself get too attached to these few unbelievers I've been friends with, and I wonder if I'm endangering myself to spiritual attack too much. At the same time, however, I also believe God has been working in these people. And also, I have a hard time finding more Christians to identify with, I've been praying about that for a while.
Anyway, I'm just interested in what your thoughts are on friendships with non-Christians? I know, on one hand, we are called to witness to unbelievers. Though at the same time, there are some verses warning not to be bound with unbelievers, as there is no fellowship with light and darkness.
It's a difficult topic for me personally. I think most of my closest friendships are with unbelievers. Just to give some background information: I have a lot of mental illness/disability related issues and have had a lot of difficulty adjusting out in the 'real world'. (Though, since last summer, I've started taking medications that are starting to help.) So, over the past many years, I've found myself turning to the internet for social interaction, for better or worse.
For the most part, I used to avoid having close relationships even online. For one reason that I just seem to have difficulty connecting to or relating with most people. And also because I just didn't trust people on the internet to be 'real'.
Though in the last several years, I started to change on that, I think just driven through my realization of my loneliness. Since I still have difficulty in the 'real world', I began to find friendships online. Just a few people. I try to be very cautious, and I'm already naturally introverted anyway.
Only one of them is a Christian believer. I know the Lord brought our friendship together, and we have a strong bond in our shared faith. She is a generation or so my elder.
I've tried to visit more Christian communities online over the past couple of years. There are many nice communities, but I guess for me personally, I have trouble fitting in. I think a part of that is also the generational thing. On most places I visit, it seems like most of the believers are a couple of generations ahead of me. So I always feel out of place, I find it hard to find people closer to my own time to identify with.
So what's happened is, for better or worse, I've found that most of my close friendships of recent years has been on the more 'secular' game sites I've visited over the past decade or so. Unfortunately I have a hard time finding Christians on those sites. But there are a few people I've felt very connected to. The problem is they aren't believers, which makes me feel uneasy. My mindset is that your closest friends should probably share your spiritual commitment to Christ.
There is also a part of me that thinks that God also brought those people into my life to witness to them. For the three people I'm mainly thinking of, I've found opportunity over the past couple of years to share my faith with them. They didn't seem hostile to what I shared. They were glad I shared it with them. For the third person, I haven't quite found a good conversation opportunity to bring it up yet.
I've also shared a lot about my mental health/real life-related difficulties with them and struggling through them, which is the main way I've connected with those three people.
I've prayed extensively for the salvation of all three of them. And I believe God has given me a few signs, especially over the last month or so, to keep praying and to expect good results to come of this.
At the same time, I'm also concerned I might be compromised by more selfish desires. I think there is a part of me that just wants to be friends with them just for the sake of having friends to be companions with.
I only still hear from one of the three unbelievers regularly, every week or so we'll write back and forth. I had only gotten to know her this year.
The other two, I haven't heard from in a long time, and those were the two I had prayed the hardest for in the last few years.
One told me she wanted a close friendship, and I saw a lot of signs that God wanted me to witness to her, though she sort of disappeared this year. I think she's still active online, but she seems to avoid writing to me. I wondered if I put too much pressure on her to grow a friendship which is difficult for her own introversion, or if maybe it's more of a spiritual warfare thing getting in the way.
Another one of these friends hasn't spoken to me for years. We had a few heated arguments about how well our friendship was functioning. I tried to apologize for my part in the arguments, but I think I estranged her too much with harsh things I said at the time. And any time I tried to reach out to her again, she had an extreme dislike of me, she seemed like a different person. The Holy Spirit warned me to my mind one day to keep a safe distance from her because she was surrounded in darkness. I've been praying for reconciliation of this friendship for the past few years.
Anyway, that's basically all I wanted to share in this topic. I'm not sure if I'm making a big mistake when I let myself get too attached to these few unbelievers I've been friends with, and I wonder if I'm endangering myself to spiritual attack too much. At the same time, however, I also believe God has been working in these people. And also, I have a hard time finding more Christians to identify with, I've been praying about that for a while.
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