The sin of refusing sex

Indeed.

You mean you can have sex and not affectionate about it at all? Wow OMG

I'm quite honestly surprised that in the context "relations" is not implied to all. Word studies can go a long way so if you want to take the time, maybe you are on to something.


I don't feel as though I can responsibly go much further but if keep reading the thread lanolin, perhaps whenever you get married (if you choose to) you can ask your husband about his perspective because I don't know of any guy that would disagree about the context.

If a female has no needs in that area that she perceives then perhaps she should not get married. Just stop reading at abstain and understand that we are all made differently in regard to the rest of the passage.

forniciation means sex between unmarried people duh.
if a couple is married they are only meant to have sex with each other, not anyone else.
if they both decide not to, then thats fine too. that doesnt mean they can sleep with anyone else. and one cant force the other, as thats rape.

yep...thats what rape is. prostitutes also have sex without affection. they do it for money.

cant believe some people dont know this. oh well...now you know.

Why would you marry and then not have sex? We were created to want to be intimate with our spouse. As MII said, if you don't want to have sex, stay single. Your husband shouldn't have to force you to have sex, it's something you should do willingly to meet their needs as you would want them to do for you.

This whole thread is about marriage, it's within the context of a Christian marriage. Sex was created by God not only for reproduction, but for a couple to come together as one, in every way, intimacy. We're not talking about forcing, or prostitution. We are talking about sex within a marriage as an expression of love for each other.

If Christians DON'T discuss it from a biblical point of view........
the world will continue to discuss it from a worldly point of view.....
and the deception and lies continue......
Young people and unmarried folk need to know basic truths of biblical married sex ( I am NOT referring just to the man entering the woman....)
Sadly even Christians enter marriage with worldly views on sex and it makes for a mess.

Now this is just my opinion here, but anyone who thinks this subject is is old, has been repeated throughout the threads (personally the ones I have seen are nothing remotely close to this threads subject, which is "the SIN of refusing sex" because in a marriage where both or even just one of the spouses claims to be Christian, then refusing sex because of ones own SELFISHNESS is indeed sinful)
or anyone who is just flat out uncomfortable with the topic at hand need not click the link and scroll through, let alone make comments about it not needing to be here ( there are PLENTY of other threads on CC that really DO NOT need to be here..... go post that on them.....) need to just keep their thoughts in their own head and fingers still.......
IN OTHER WORDS: IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT HERE DON'T POST AND GO AWAY.


So far what I am reading throughout this thread is about sex only on the physical level (if I missed something stating otherwise, someone please KINDLY point it out).
Sex goes so much further and deeper than just the man entering the woman.

So......
why do people who claim to be Christians, who claim to be part of the church and body of Christ, want to sweep the topic under the rug and be hush hush about it like it is taboo?
Read Song of Solomon
(Biblical married ) Sex is something to be celebrated, and treasured.......

in that case, better let RoboOP and the others who run this site know it's time to shut down, since EVERYTHING is covered in scripture one way or another.............. guess we don't need to be discussing any of it.......
(well, it was nice knowing ya'll )

Yes, but this thread was simply about that one verse, not the topic in general. I don't feel released to talk about marital matters with any authority because while the Lord maybe has given me enough to chew on, I have felt strongly impressed that some things are meant to be private and that with a wide audience on a very serious subject to be rather vague and that he will make it clear what my meaning is if it's from him. I'm also not married and much like pastors doing marriage conferences or marriages counselors giving private advice...it seems like there is a time and a place. I would certainly like to help people out in the future if he leads me in that direction.

At the same time though there are topics such as this and even masturbation that many are hesitant to discuss because it is a frowned upon subject. I think that wisdom is required to discuss sensitive subjects like that but they also are needed

if the church doesn't discuss these things from a biblical standpoint, people will continue to get their misguided information from the world.......

Yes exactly, more than one occasion I will be trying to help someone about such things mainly teens as they are the main ones who ask about these things.
Marriage I have a deep understanding of as I think with my heart not my desires( one of the benefit's of not having any) however when asked about the sin of masturbation I am nearly at a loss and they often times feel so dirty and sinful about it some were even hounded severely by other believers about it when asking for help

Read the passage carefully. Paul recommends marriage to avoid fornication. He tells the married couple not to deprive one another, but to render due benevolence.

How would a marriage with just hugging and kissing or other forms of affection short of sex be something that would avoid fornication? Why would the context jump away from the topic of sex to other forms of affection only.

So we don't need the full counsel of the word of God if it conflicts with Victorian mores?

Honestly this is an issue that bothers me. We do take our cues from Victorian mores in the church. So many marriages struggle with this issue with no help, no sermons on the subject. We need to rip Song of Solomon out of the Bible. My sister told me when she went and her husband went to counseling their pastor told them to "fight naked" because no one could stay mad if they fought this way. What kind of juvenile high school advice is that?! No, these issues need to be discussed out in the open and people need to know before they are married they are committing their bodies to one another. Your body is not your own. Abusive relationships or a cheating spouse is another subject. But I've hear so many people say they were punishing their partner by withholding sex. It's wrong and un-Biblical.

read the post that this was a reply to......
he was saying if it's covered in scripture then it doesn't need to be discussed any more.......
to which I replied that if that's the case then NONE of what is ever discussed on CC needs to be discussed anymore (after all, isn't it all covered in scripture, why ask questions about it or seek for clarity then?)

in other words, if it's covered in scripture and doesn't need to be discussed any more then why do we have this site for such discussions?

please don't put words in my mouth......
I NEVER said or implied that we don't need full counsel of the Word of God........
perhaps you need to see my other replies.........

Anyways, this is going off topic......

so, are you saying if we don't like/ agree with something in scripture then we should just rip it out?

Won't be any scripture left if that happens...........

yes!
YES!

It's good for single people to know what the Biblical expectations are about marriage before deciding to marry. Paul's statement in this passage that to prevent fornication, let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband is applicable here, since that would apply to singles considering marriage. So would his teachings on remaining celibate later in the passage.

The apostles, when they heard Jesus' teaching against divorce as recorded in Matthew 19 said if such be the case of a man with his wife, it is good for a man not to marry. It is good to know the expectations beforehand.

It is also good for both husband and wife to go into marriage realizing it is good and proper to render 'due benevolence' rather than thinking of sex as some inherently sinful thing, or thinking that they can be selfish about it, concerned with their own needs only and not their partner's.