I gave up on finding a mate.

Honestly I'm not sure why this thread keeps going. lol

I don't ever think I'll be "strong enough" in Christ, or confident. For me to be confident, would be a lie to everyone. My whole personality would need to be changed in order to be confident.

It probably keeps going because you can always use help with this subject? Anyone does really.

It isn't that I don't have a desire for a mate. I'm just trying to be realistic. Women don't want me, and I can't blame them. I'm probably ugly to look at, and my personality isn't what they desire. Not to mention my mental and physical problems too. It seems to me that nobody really cares about honesty, and loyalty. People want a lot of flash! Something that makes them feel good. If they feel good enough then they might think they are in love or something... But I think, after 19 Plus years of hoping, it's time to give up on that hope. I recently wrote a poem called "I am the rejected one: Jesus Please take me home". There is a couple of ideas going on here. I said as an explanation: This poem is inspired by 42 years of rejection by my pears. That's true! I always had a hard time fitting in. But all this rejection I've been feeling from the internet, and work. Plus I don't feel like I'm useful to Jesus, and I'm not sure just how much longer I'm going to be useful to my parents too. I wish Jesus would just call me home.

I don't have the poem anymore. But last year, I was thinking about this stuff, and maybe a little more. I wrote a poem about it. I sorta took and a Calvinistic approach of "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated". Then I applied it to myself, and said "I'm rejected from birth, I have no worth." Probably the saddest and maybe even the most disturbing poem I have ever written. I tried sharing it with a few people in real life and then i ripped it up and threw it away.

I just wanted to put this out there, publicly, that I gave up on finding a mate.

I walk over 10,000 steps on thinly carpeted concrete. I'm not the only janitor that has feet problems.

Custodian, Janitor, Caretaker, Groundskeeper, whatever you want to call us, the job varies in size and duties depending on where you work.

well so does everyone else
not many people ever get the luxury of sitting down when they are working, just wear comfy shoes, even if they have to be ...crocs

or doc martens with the bouncy soles.

Calvinism is a sham because God did not reject Esau or Jacob FROM BIRTH

It was Esau who actually first rejected his birthright, not God rejecting him. God actually still made some provision for Esau even though Esau sold his birthright for a mess of pottage.

God had previously said to Rebecca the eldest shall serve the younger one before the brothers were even born before they had even done anything!

this doesnt have anything to do with marrying or anything or being rejected. Married people dont neccesarily have it easier than singles and its not that they enjoy more blessings either.

Listen its time to stop the self pity...if you want to talk about true rejection its when a parent kicks their child out of the home and abandons them, leaves them with a dirty nappy and ignores them, or goes off to the pub and parties a drinks and does drugs while leaving their kids in the car.

You know what Jesus did...he never turned away a kid that came to him. And He went and found his own friends, he got twelve fisherman to follow him. He taught Mary.

sure the Pharisees spat on him and the Romans flogged him and he wasnt given in marriage either...plus he was kissed by a MAN (Judas?!) but did he pack a sad because of this....I dont think so.

Did Jesus really ask us all to 'fit in'? Fit in where? a box? Why fit in when you can stand out?

It isn't that I don't have a desire for a mate. I'm just trying to be realistic. Women don't want me, and I can't blame them. I'm probably ugly to look at, and my personality isn't what they desire. Not to mention my mental and physical problems too. It seems to me that nobody really cares about honesty, and loyalty. People want a lot of flash! Something that makes them feel good. If they feel good enough then they might think they are in love or something... But I think, after 19 Plus years of hoping, it's time to give up on that hope. I recently wrote a poem called "I am the rejected one: Jesus Please take me home". There is a couple of ideas going on here. I said as an explanation: This poem is inspired by 42 years of rejection by my pears. That's true! I always had a hard time fitting in. But all this rejection I've been feeling from the internet, and work. Plus I don't feel like I'm useful to Jesus, and I'm not sure just how much longer I'm going to be useful to my parents too. I wish Jesus would just call me home.

I don't have the poem anymore. But last year, I was thinking about this stuff, and maybe a little more. I wrote a poem about it. I sorta took and a Calvinistic approach of "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated". Then I applied it to myself, and said "I'm rejected from birth, I have no worth." Probably the saddest and maybe even the most disturbing poem I have ever written. I tried sharing it with a few people in real life and then i ripped it up and threw it away.

I just wanted to put this out there, publicly, that I gave up on finding a mate.