I gave up on finding a mate.

[JesusFreak1992]

Honestly I'm not sure why this thread keeps going. lol

I don't ever think I'll be "strong enough" in Christ, or confident. For me to be confident, would be a lie to everyone. My whole personality would need to be changed in order to be confident.

It probably keeps going because you can always use help with this subject? Anyone does really.

 

[Seeking-Christ]

It probably keeps going because you can always use help with this subject? Anyone does really.

I don't hardly have time to put into this kind of conversation anymore. I'm just going to stop watching it. Hopefully other people will get the help they need. At this point in my life, I'm too far gone for this sort of information to help me. It's completely up to God to do or don't do something.

 

[Donfightsforchrist1980]

It isn't that I don't have a desire for a mate. I'm just trying to be realistic. Women don't want me, and I can't blame them. I'm probably ugly to look at, and my personality isn't what they desire. Not to mention my mental and physical problems too. It seems to me that nobody really cares about honesty, and loyalty. People want a lot of flash! Something that makes them feel good. If they feel good enough then they might think they are in love or something... But I think, after 19 Plus years of hoping, it's time to give up on that hope. I recently wrote a poem called "I am the rejected one: Jesus Please take me home". There is a couple of ideas going on here. I said as an explanation: This poem is inspired by 42 years of rejection by my pears. That's true! I always had a hard time fitting in. But all this rejection I've been feeling from the internet, and work. Plus I don't feel like I'm useful to Jesus, and I'm not sure just how much longer I'm going to be useful to my parents too. I wish Jesus would just call me home.

I don't have the poem anymore. But last year, I was thinking about this stuff, and maybe a little more. I wrote a poem about it. I sorta took and a Calvinistic approach of "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated". Then I applied it to myself, and said "I'm rejected from birth, I have no worth." Probably the saddest and maybe even the most disturbing poem I have ever written. I tried sharing it with a few people in real life and then i ripped it up and threw it away.

I just wanted to put this out there, publicly, that I gave up on finding a mate.

YOU ARE LOVED BY JESUS FOREVER! AND I AGREE THAT PEOPLE SEEM SO FOCUSED ON OUTWARD APPEARANCES! I PRAY THAT WE BOTH FIND THE PERSON GOD HAS FOR US - THE PERSON WHO'LL SEE US APART FROM OUR ABILITIES!!! GOD BLESS!!!! <3

 

[Lanolin]

I walk over 10,000 steps on thinly carpeted concrete. I'm not the only janitor that has feet problems.

Custodian, Janitor, Caretaker, Groundskeeper, whatever you want to call us, the job varies in size and duties depending on where you work.

well so does everyone else
not many people ever get the luxury of sitting down when they are working, just wear comfy shoes, even if they have to be ...crocs

or doc martens with the bouncy soles.

 

[Lanolin]

regarding confidence

I remember was in a job where the boss would say be more confident and at the same time he would undermine it lol (cos he was a perfectionist)

the thing is YOU know what you are doing even if nobody else does.

 

[Seeking-Christ]

well so does everyone else
not many people ever get the luxury of sitting down when they are working, just wear comfy shoes, even if they have to be ...crocs

or doc martens with the bouncy soles.

I'm doing everything humanly possible to help my feet.

I see a foot doctor, who makes me special insoles. The shoes are 120 dollars. The insoles are 500 dollars. I buy new shoes about every month. Sometimes i haft to take anti-inflammatory medication for my feet too.

 

[FredVB]

You might give up. But don't, if you do not have to. When I could I tried, and eventually being frustrated, after a long time being single again, decided I was trying too hard, and didn't, not knowing what I was waiting for but already being older. Now, it might be too late.

 

[NightTwister]

Calvinism is a sham because God did not reject Esau or Jacob FROM BIRTH

It was Esau who actually first rejected his birthright, not God rejecting him. God actually still made some provision for Esau even though Esau sold his birthright for a mess of pottage.

God had previously said to Rebecca the eldest shall serve the younger one before the brothers were even born before they had even done anything!

this doesnt have anything to do with marrying or anything or being rejected. Married people dont neccesarily have it easier than singles and its not that they enjoy more blessings either.

Listen its time to stop the self pity...if you want to talk about true rejection its when a parent kicks their child out of the home and abandons them, leaves them with a dirty nappy and ignores them, or goes off to the pub and parties a drinks and does drugs while leaving their kids in the car.

You know what Jesus did...he never turned away a kid that came to him. And He went and found his own friends, he got twelve fisherman to follow him. He taught Mary.

sure the Pharisees spat on him and the Romans flogged him and he wasnt given in marriage either...plus he was kissed by a MAN (Judas?!) but did he pack a sad because of this....I dont think so.

Did Jesus really ask us all to 'fit in'? Fit in where? a box? Why fit in when you can stand out?

 

[FredVB]

God is not willing that any just perish but there should be repentance, that there will be faith for salvation that is provided. There are those without any repentance, enough, Esau is such an example. He was not without opportunity for that needed repentance.

 

[Karlon]

It isn't that I don't have a desire for a mate. I'm just trying to be realistic. Women don't want me, and I can't blame them. I'm probably ugly to look at, and my personality isn't what they desire. Not to mention my mental and physical problems too. It seems to me that nobody really cares about honesty, and loyalty. People want a lot of flash! Something that makes them feel good. If they feel good enough then they might think they are in love or something... But I think, after 19 Plus years of hoping, it's time to give up on that hope. I recently wrote a poem called "I am the rejected one: Jesus Please take me home". There is a couple of ideas going on here. I said as an explanation: This poem is inspired by 42 years of rejection by my pears. That's true! I always had a hard time fitting in. But all this rejection I've been feeling from the internet, and work. Plus I don't feel like I'm useful to Jesus, and I'm not sure just how much longer I'm going to be useful to my parents too. I wish Jesus would just call me home.

I don't have the poem anymore. But last year, I was thinking about this stuff, and maybe a little more. I wrote a poem about it. I sorta took and a Calvinistic approach of "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated". Then I applied it to myself, and said "I'm rejected from birth, I have no worth." Probably the saddest and maybe even the most disturbing poem I have ever written. I tried sharing it with a few people in real life and then i ripped it up and threw it away.

I just wanted to put this out there, publicly, that I gave up on finding a mate.

millions of people the world over suffer great amounts of rejection. starting with my parents, i suffered massive rejection & later in life to. i'm definitely not a person whom other gravitate towards. the only time i had a bunch of friends is when i lived in Massachusetts. people were much more gregarious there than in N.Y. for me, rejection is the #1 issue i suffered. by course, when in bands, everybody is my friend. know that you are doing all to be properly presentable to women. review all the characteristics. women want to see a man "alive" in looks, spirit, confidence & conversation. blessings to you.

 

[FredVB]

Little attention in textual discussion about finding a suitable mate is given to the caveat that more attractive individuals according to cultural standards in the society they are in have more success, and the converse of that is that those not at all so attractive according to those standards will have little of possible success. Some things can always be done to address issues for that, but it is not possible for everything.

 

[Maximoo]

It isn't that I don't have a desire for a mate. I'm just trying to be realistic. Women don't want me, and I can't blame them. I'm probably ugly to look at, and my personality isn't what they desire. Not to mention my mental and physical problems too. It seems to me that nobody really cares about honesty, and loyalty. People want a lot of flash! Something that makes them feel good. If they feel good enough then they might think they are in love or something... But I think, after 19 Plus years of hoping, it's time to give up on that hope. I recently wrote a poem called "I am the rejected one: Jesus Please take me home". There is a couple of ideas going on here. I said as an explanation: This poem is inspired by 42 years of rejection by my pears. That's true! I always had a hard time fitting in. But all this rejection I've been feeling from the internet, and work. Plus I don't feel like I'm useful to Jesus, and I'm not sure just how much longer I'm going to be useful to my parents too. I wish Jesus would just call me home.

I don't have the poem anymore. But last year, I was thinking about this stuff, and maybe a little more. I wrote a poem about it. I sorta took and a Calvinistic approach of "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated". Then I applied it to myself, and said "I'm rejected from birth, I have no worth." Probably the saddest and maybe even the most disturbing poem I have ever written. I tried sharing it with a few people in real life and then i ripped it up and threw it away.

I just wanted to put this out there, publicly, that I gave up on finding a mate.

Hi nooo don't give up unless God has put it in your heart to. The devil is suuuch a liar!
And soo good at it too!
You have worth and value which isn't dependent upon people's views of you.
I've been hoping and praying for a mate since I was 14!
I felt no love from my parents- very strict Jamaican household- and am too unconventional for anyone...I'm a black woman with blue, red and pink hair for goodness sake😁
So don't despair. Be determined to get closer to Jesus. He's got you Hun 💓
Ps and I love tartan and Ska!🤣

 

[Lynx]

Hi nooo don't give up unless God has put it in your heart to. The devil is suuuch a liar!
And soo good at it too!
You have worth and value which isn't dependent upon people's views of you.
I've been hoping and praying for a mate since I was 14!
I felt no love from my parents- very strict Jamaican household- and am too unconventional for anyone...I'm a black woman with blue, red and pink hair for goodness sake😁
So don't despair. Be determined to get closer to Jesus. He's got you Hun 💓
Ps and I love tartan and Ska!🤣

Howdy and welcome to the Forum. I get a feeling you're going to like it here. Some of us are crazier than you. =^.^=


I know you were talking to somebody else, but I will state for the record that although I have not given up on a relationship, I am also not spending any effort at all on finding one. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, I'm going to enjoy life anyway.

I mean... There are other things, like ice cream, seafood, donuts, video games, bike rides, kittens... Just so many other things to enjoy. Life is still life, whether I have a partner or not.

 

[VincentG]

what happened to the live chat forum, been away that long?

 

[Lynx]

what happened to the live chat forum, been away that long?

Yeah, um... About that...

Live chat has been dead for years. But lately admin has been putting out announcements about beta testing for a new chat platform. Lately as in, the past couple of months.

 

[NestForASparrow]

I feel old remembering the chat and this wasn't even the first Christian chat I used as there was a website called ChurchUSA I used before this that had a chat feature.....didn't like they had a nonChristian as one of their mods though,

 

[Crisdlcruz209]

It isn't that I don't have a desire for a mate. I'm just trying to be realistic. Women don't want me, and I can't blame them. I'm probably ugly to look at, and my personality isn't what they desire. Not to mention my mental and physical problems too. It seems to me that nobody really cares about honesty, and loyalty. People want a lot of flash! Something that makes them feel good. If they feel good enough then they might think they are in love or something... But I think, after 19 Plus years of hoping, it's time to give up on that hope. I recently wrote a poem called "I am the rejected one: Jesus Please take me home". There is a couple of ideas going on here. I said as an explanation: This poem is inspired by 42 years of rejection by my pears. That's true! I always had a hard time fitting in. But all this rejection I've been feeling from the internet, and work. Plus I don't feel like I'm useful to Jesus, and I'm not sure just how much longer I'm going to be useful to my parents too. I wish Jesus would just call me home.

I don't have the poem anymore. But last year, I was thinking about this stuff, and maybe a little more. I wrote a poem about it. I sorta took and a Calvinistic approach of "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated". Then I applied it to myself, and said "I'm rejected from birth, I have no worth." Probably the saddest and maybe even the most disturbing poem I have ever written. I tried sharing it with a few people in real life and then i ripped it up and threw it away.

I just wanted to put this out there, publicly, that I gave up on finding a mate.

I would like to offer some words i am 32yrs young 300 lbs and not the most social man in the world.
I dislike lots of things. Jesus is the one constant in my life that has remained.
I think you may need to work not on yourself but working for your many brothers and sisters. We are many and we all need a helping hand.
Up until mid 2019 i was lost i was steps from destruction. I drank alcohol always within reach of the abyss. I was fortunate to find Jesus. He has become much more than anything else in the world. I do hope for a wife a compliment to my life. In my mind i think i need to be ready but its not on my time is on His. The past couple of years i have given my talents to Him to praise Him with my voice. I sing to Him i enjoy praise of Him songs great praises from many wonderful singers. I believe you need to occupy yourself with work but for Him. I suggest getting into the word reading from the beginning delving into the rich history of our mighty God. In His word we can find life. I will tell you that it will not be a smooth straight road it will discouraging at times but the destination is marvelous. I pray that you may rekindle the love for God if not to truly know Him as i have known my foundation which is Jesus the Messiah.

 

[Lynx]

I would like to offer some words i am 32yrs young 300 lbs and not the most social man in the world.
I dislike lots of things. Jesus is the one constant in my life that has remained.
I think you may need to work not on yourself but working for your many brothers and sisters. We are many and we all need a helping hand.
Up until mid 2019 i was lost i was steps from destruction. I drank alcohol always within reach of the abyss. I was fortunate to find Jesus. He has become much more than anything else in the world. I do hope for a wife a compliment to my life. In my mind i think i need to be ready but its not on my time is on His. The past couple of years i have given my talents to Him to praise Him with my voice. I sing to Him i enjoy praise of Him songs great praises from many wonderful singers. I believe you need to occupy yourself with work but for Him. I suggest getting into the word reading from the beginning delving into the rich history of our mighty God. In His word we can find life. I will tell you that it will not be a smooth straight road it will discouraging at times but the destination is marvelous. I pray that you may rekindle the love for God if not to truly know Him as i have known my foundation which is Jesus the Messiah.

Howdy and welcome to the Forum.

 

[Butterflyyy]

Get used to me? Oooookay.

That’s just Lynx…you’ll get used to him….hehe…

 

[Butterflyyy]

It isn't that I don't have a desire for a mate. I'm just trying to be realistic. Women don't want me, and I can't blame them. I'm probably ugly to look at, and my personality isn't what they desire. Not to mention my mental and physical problems too. It seems to me that nobody really cares about honesty, and loyalty. People want a lot of flash! Something that makes them feel good. If they feel good enough then they might think they are in love or something... But I think, after 19 Plus years of hoping, it's time to give up on that hope. I recently wrote a poem called "I am the rejected one: Jesus Please take me home". There is a couple of ideas going on here. I said as an explanation: This poem is inspired by 42 years of rejection by my pears. That's true! I always had a hard time fitting in. But all this rejection I've been feeling from the internet, and work. Plus I don't feel like I'm useful to Jesus, and I'm not sure just how much longer I'm going to be useful to my parents too. I wish Jesus would just call me home.

I don't have the poem anymore. But last year, I was thinking about this stuff, and maybe a little more. I wrote a poem about it. I sorta took and a Calvinistic approach of "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated". Then I applied it to myself, and said "I'm rejected from birth, I have no worth." Probably the saddest and maybe even the most disturbing poem I have ever written. I tried sharing it with a few people in real life and then i ripped it up and threw it away.

I just wanted to put this out there, publicly, that I gave up on finding a mate.

Dear friend… you are listening to lies…
You are not rejected from birth, you are loved and you were loved before birth because God saw you then and ordained works for you specifically to walk in.
I hear your heart, and I do understand… I have felt like this and so have quite a few of my friends…
Sometimes we overlook the fact we have an enemy and that the powers of darkness want to bring us down in our minds… the battle is spiritual and we must strengthen ourselves in the Lord.
Thank you for putting your message out there publicly… I for one appreciate it 🙂
It reminded me of the verse where it says,’ To live us Christ, and to die is gain.’
Sometimes I would rather be with the Lord but I am willing to live for whatever purposes He has for me. Today I told Him this and soon after, I found my self in a shop where the lady serving me told me she wanted to find God because she’d had a tough year (she saw my email address about God). I then shared the Gosoel with her and urged her to receive Christ whilst she had chance. I told her we don’t have very long here compared to eternity.
Also I noticed our perspective changes when we meet someone worse off than us- like my friend’s Son who sadly died tonight at 35 years old… never married, no kids, virtually blind from diabetes… We take a lot for granted sometimes don’t we… the glass can be half empty or half full but I know myself I can get down very easily and end up listening to the fiery dart lies that bring me down-we are useful to the Lord and there is a spiritual battle to try and hinder us and rob us from all He has for us. It will all have been worth it one day my friend… turn your eyes upon Jesus, trust in Him and go to a good church regularly to get strengthened-we need it. God bless you.