Match Game

[tourist]

I've never heard of it...what kind of root is in this beer? Carrots? Dandelions? Ginseng?

Ordinary rootbeer I guess. It is a well known brand in the US.

 

[cinder]

I've never heard of it...what kind of root is in this beer? Carrots? Dandelions? Ginseng?

Sassafras or at least that was the original source.

 

[cinder]

Your bf/gf wants to throw a big birthday party on your birthday...would you be all for that or 'noooo' thx?

If by big party you mean lots of people, my bf should know better than to do that after like the first date or two. If by big party you mean we're going to celebrate me the whole day just the two of us, yeah that might be nice.

Fortunately since my bf is purely imaginary he caters perfectly to my every whim without me needing to ask. It's no wonder real life men can't compete.

 

[cinder]

uh both...?
either/or

Lots of games good with 2 players, but some made exclusively for 2 players are:
Tides of time (nice and small and portable card game)
jaipur
almost anything with the word duel in the title
Rivals for catan
Caverna: cave vs cave


also: https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-two-player-board-games/

 

[Lynx]

If by big party you mean lots of people, my bf should know better than to do that after like the first date or two. If by big party you mean we're going to celebrate me the whole day just the two of us, yeah that might be nice.

Fortunately since my bf is purely imaginary he caters perfectly to my every whim without me needing to ask. It's no wonder real life men can't compete.

"My significant other is like the square root of -100. A perfect ten, but also imaginary."

 

[RodColeman]

Just for fun this is a Thread on comparing notes mainly on dating issues. No reason to be shy here there's no strings attached I'm a widow and not looking but feel the need to take some discussions to the next level for singles here. It's just for fun so please take it that way.
Any number of singles can answer and can also pose another question. Here's the starter:
'Are you getting tired of waiting for the right one?' Good luck

Hello, all. @TabinRivCA actually invited me to post here because, somehow, she's noticed that I can't shut up about this topic on other threads.

Am I, personally, getting tired of waiting for the right one?

Well, for one thing, I'm not really "waiting for the right one," although I am single and desire marriage, for sure. Maybe a batter question is whether or not I'm tired of being single.

Which I am. Most definitely. Big time.

Marriage is something I've dreamed about since I turned 15, but, for many different reasons, romantic relationships have not worked out for me, ever. And, like many Christian singles in church setting, I'm sure, I see other people successfully date and marry all the time, often to people that they seemed to meet by coincidence. So I'm definitely tired of "waiting." And I'll be speaking as a single guy who's hit 31 without ever being married or even being "official" with anyone. (Been on a few first and second dates, most of which didn't go well)

There's a couple things that make "waiting" hard. One of the hardest things is that, if you have the desire for romance/marriage/sex, well, there's no real substitute for it. Sometimes, when you express this sort of thing in a Christian/church setting, well-meaning people will try to "reassure you" that you're "already loved." They'll "remind" you that Jesus loves you., of course. They might tell you that your friends love you. They might tell you that your family loves you. These things are all true for me. But, of course, experiencing these kinds of love doesn't do anything to quench the desire for romantic love, does it? I've always liked how, in the Bible, there's so many different Hebrew and Greek words for the different kinds of love. In English, we, confusingly, can only over-use one word.

And think about the idea of sex, for instance. In physical terms, sex is the most intimate way that you'll connect with another human, and the most intimate way that someone will choose you and love you. That's one of the reasons we desire romantic love, because of the kind of love that it is. And, if you're a Christian single, well, there's no fulfill that. Of course that can be frustrating. Paul recognizes that in 1 Corinthians 7, where he says that it's actually better to marry than to burn with passion. Unfortunately, none of us are promised marriage.

That's another hard part about being single. Wrestling with the fact that nobody chose you or is choosing you.

Another aspect of unwanted singleness is that it can be a legitimate trial or hardship. Sometimes people can scoff at this as some kind of "first world problem." They'll "remind" you that "There's worse things, you know." But marriage happened in the Garden of Eden. While Adam had a perfect, sinless relationship with God. God looked at Adam and said it wasn’t good for man to be alone. Isn’t that interesting? You mean even when he was totally with God, Adam still needed someone else? Whoops.

In the Garden of Eden, when the world was perfect, God gave Adam a wife. But then what happened? Mankind rebelled, sin entered the world, and everything has been screwed up ever since. In Paradise, when things were perfect, there was marriage. In the post-Fall world, there’s people who desire marriage, but it doesn’t work out for them. It’s one of the many genuine disappointments that we all have to deal with in a fallen, sinful world. It’s OK to recognize it as such.

I do believe that there's some people who lack the gift of celibacy who still won't be able to marry. I mean, I've often read that there's more Christian women in the world than there are men. If that's broadly true, it means that not everyone will be able to find someone to marry, even if they have strong desires. And in Matthew 19, when Jesus talks about people who don't marry, he mentions a few different types: people who choose to live that way, people who are made that way by God, and people who are made that way by "other men." So some people stay single, and it's not because they chose it or because God chose it. It wasn't their plan, and it wasn't "God's plan," either. It's just how life turned out.

Yes, God is good. But we live in a world that is not good.

No matter what happens there is some stuff that won’t happen. For my part, I never got to know what it was like to have a girlfriend in my teens, or a wife in my twenties. Some people get married in their forties, and those people probably won't have kids. These things can hurt, and spiritual-sounding platitudes don't help you much in situations like that. We need to mourn these sorts of losses appropriately. It’s part of being emotionally healthy. of course, instead, we often insulate ourselves from the hurt through, say denial ("Ah, my singleness doesn't bother me"), minimizing ("yeah, it hurts that I never get to have kids, oh, well, big deal"), along with rationalizing, blaming, intellectualizing, and distracting (like joking about it, or changing the subject)

Now, sure, you could make it bigger than it is. For example, my cat dying and a friend dying should elicit different amounts of mourning. But overreactions to a "minor" loss is usually a sign that there is a bigger loss that hasn’t been grieved. This goes back to what I mentioned earlier about the different kinds of loves.

A hard part about being single, at least in my experience, is that your church community might not know how to help you in this area. In my experience, pastors, church elders, and most congregants are married, and often married. It's not their fault, really, but they often just ignore you (your struggles with singleness, I mean) or, at best, wave it away with platitudes about "God's timing." But they don't really discuss the problem in depth. But, personally, it's hard for me to get mad about that, really. I mean, the Bible even says more about marriage than it does about singleness, so, understandably, they're going to talk more about marriage. And the Bible doesn't even talk about temporary singleness. It talks about lifelong celibacy. And, when churches talk about this subject, they'll often get very specific about the stuff we shouldn't do, while giving only platitudes about the stuff we should do.

Another hard part about this is that I'm not quite sure that "the right one" even exists. God doesn't promise marriage to any of us. How can you trust God to fulfill a promise He never made to you. The idea of a "soulmate'" comes from Greek philosophy and mythology. But the Bible doesn't mention. Jesus said there is nor marriage in Heaven. And it doesn't seem like Paul believed in "soulmates" (see 1 Corinthians 7:39) Paul didn't say, “Go and find your wife.” He said “Go get married.”

Besides, usually when we think about "the right one" we think about how this person will be right for me. Not so much the other way around.

And of God's really a Puppetmaster arranging all this stuff, well, then, why did He change the way people get married? Apparently, God "used" to do this sort of thing via arranged marriages at age 14-18. Then God changed His mind and decided to delay marriage until around 18 and make it less arranged by parents, but your spouse was always from your same caste and race. Then, later, God changed His mind again and did away with that sort of thing. More recently, apparently God decided that the early twenties would work better for marriage and He'll bring The One via courting and then later dating. Finally, today, apparently, God has determined that your late twenties or early thirties (more than a decade after you first desire sex ) would be a better time to bring you the The One. The heck is going on?

I'm not sure if "waiting for the right one" is always a good idea. I wouldn't just "wait" for some partner to show up one day. If you're, say, 25 or older, and you want to marry, and you're still single, you should probably put some serious effort into it. It's not going to "just happen."

It's not a sign of "weak faith" to take action. Isn't it in acting that our faith is proven? Yes, we need to do it with God. But we still need to do it.

Some people might also wonder if it's even OK to be tired of being single. After all, isn't being "content" with your singleness The Good Christian Thing To Do? Well, no. When Paul talks about contentment in Philippians 4, he's talking about our ultimate contentment in God. He also mentions being content in all things, not with all things. I think there's a difference. And, in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul even says that, if you're not content with being single, then maybe it's better for you to marry. Paul does say that he, personally, is content with being single. But he also says that not everyone is like him, and that's fine.

 

[RodColeman]

Cont.

Sometimes people will also tell you that God is currently keeping you single because He wants to teach you some sort of profound "lesson" about Contentment. And, apparently, once you learn "contentment" in your singleness, then God will reward you with a spouse. Really? What about the young Christian couple that started dating in high school and then got married at 21, without ever entering into a long "season of singleness"? Were they content with their singleness first? I'm guessing no. It’s also dishonest. If I’m trying to "become" content so that I can get married, then I’m not really content, am I?

I think there's some real dangers to the whole “I’m going to stop looking" line of thinking. It can lead you to shut down rather than actually working on your life. Meaning it can be an excuse to hide from real reasons we're single. it can also cause us to grow cold and not pay attention to people around us that might be potential spouses.

We can definitely bad motives for leaving these things in "God's hands," I think. We don't like dealing with rejection, insecurities, our own sins, our own shortcomings, or our own fears. And, of course, we can just over-spiritualize everything. These are some of the ways we get to places like “When God wills it then I’ll get married." But, if you're, say, 25 or older, and you want to marry, and you're still single, none of this stuff is helpful.

None of this is actually helpful if you are over 25 and single. We don't approach other life situations that way, do we? Like a job search, or goals like weight loss. God’s will is mostly done by God’s people. So, yes, we need to do it with God. But we need to do it.

We can definitely over-spiritualize this stuff. And it can have real consequences.

Attributing all this stuff to God can be a way to hide from things. it can be a way to hide from disappointment with God. "Well, He hasn’t delivered me a spouse but it’s all good, He must have a different 'plan.' " it can also keep us from dealing with our own stuff. Waiting on God often seems to mean, “I’m not doing anything wrong – it’s just that God hasn’t sent me The One yet.” Yeah it couldn’t possibly have anything to do with me. Yikes! And these sorts of conclusions often just lead to inaction on our part.

Maybe I've started rambling. But for sure, I'm definitely tired of waiting for the right one. Or, more accurately, I'm very, very tired of being single in general.

 

[TabinRivCA]

@RodColeman I'm pretty sure I'm old enough to be your mother, BUT if I wasn't and if I wanted a sweet Christian potential hubby, I'd be PMing you before anyone else did Idk what's up but so many on here lament about being single and when a really cool guy appears....crickets. I hope I'm wrong and you get some interesting pm's,

 

[Lanolin]

Lots of games good with 2 players, but some made exclusively for 2 players are:
Tides of time (nice and small and portable card game)
jaipur
almost anything with the word duel in the title
Rivals for catan
Caverna: cave vs cave


also: https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/best-two-player-board-games/

I haven't heard of any of these games.
I've heard of settlers of Catan.

I think Chess, or maybe Draughts if you can't play chess. Chinese Checkers. Guess Who. Connect Four. Jenga. Lol

Snap. Last Card.

 

[Lanolin]

Oh my turn again.

What kind of tea? You are not allowed coffee. Sorry ALL the coffee has run out.

 

[Lanolin]

"My significant other is like the square root of -100. A perfect ten, but also imaginary."

Why do people rate out of 10. It's silly. It should be out of 5 stars. Like hotels and book reviews and restaurants.

10 is not even 100% it's only 10%. Not perfect.

 

[Lynx]

Hello, all. @TabinRivCA actually invited me to post here because, somehow, she's noticed that I can't shut up about this topic on other threads.

Am I, personally, getting tired of waiting for the right one?

Well, for one thing, I'm not really "waiting for the right one," although I am single and desire marriage, for sure. Maybe a batter question is whether or not I'm tired of being single.

Which I am. Most definitely. Big time.

Marriage is something I've dreamed about since I turned 15, but, for many different reasons, romantic relationships have not worked out for me, ever. And, like many Christian singles in church setting, I'm sure, I see other people successfully date and marry all the time, often to people that they seemed to meet by coincidence. So I'm definitely tired of "waiting." And I'll be speaking as a single guy who's hit 31 without ever being married or even being "official" with anyone. (Been on a few first and second dates, most of which didn't go well)

There's a couple things that make "waiting" hard. One of the hardest things is that, if you have the desire for romance/marriage/sex, well, there's no real substitute for it. Sometimes, when you express this sort of thing in a Christian/church setting, well-meaning people will try to "reassure you" that you're "already loved." They'll "remind" you that Jesus loves you., of course. They might tell you that your friends love you. They might tell you that your family loves you. These things are all true for me. But, of course, experiencing these kinds of love doesn't do anything to quench the desire for romantic love, does it? I've always liked how, in the Bible, there's so many different Hebrew and Greek words for the different kinds of love. In English, we, confusingly, can only over-use one word.

And think about the idea of sex, for instance. In physical terms, sex is the most intimate way that you'll connect with another human, and the most intimate way that someone will choose you and love you. That's one of the reasons we desire romantic love, because of the kind of love that it is. And, if you're a Christian single, well, there's no fulfill that. Of course that can be frustrating. Paul recognizes that in 1 Corinthians 7, where he says that it's actually better to marry than to burn with passion. Unfortunately, none of us are promised marriage.

That's another hard part about being single. Wrestling with the fact that nobody chose you or is choosing you.

Another aspect of unwanted singleness is that it can be a legitimate trial or hardship. Sometimes people can scoff at this as some kind of "first world problem." They'll "remind" you that "There's worse things, you know." But marriage happened in the Garden of Eden. While Adam had a perfect, sinless relationship with God. God looked at Adam and said it wasn’t good for man to be alone. Isn’t that interesting? You mean even when he was totally with God, Adam still needed someone else? Whoops.

In the Garden of Eden, when the world was perfect, God gave Adam a wife. But then what happened? Mankind rebelled, sin entered the world, and everything has been screwed up ever since. In Paradise, when things were perfect, there was marriage. In the post-Fall world, there’s people who desire marriage, but it doesn’t work out for them. It’s one of the many genuine disappointments that we all have to deal with in a fallen, sinful world. It’s OK to recognize it as such.

I do believe that there's some people who lack the gift of celibacy who still won't be able to marry. I mean, I've often read that there's more Christian women in the world than there are men. If that's broadly true, it means that not everyone will be able to find someone to marry, even if they have strong desires. And in Matthew 19, when Jesus talks about people who don't marry, he mentions a few different types: people who choose to live that way, people who are made that way by God, and people who are made that way by "other men." So some people stay single, and it's not because they chose it or because God chose it. It wasn't their plan, and it wasn't "God's plan," either. It's just how life turned out.

Yes, God is good. But we live in a world that is not good.

No matter what happens there is some stuff that won’t happen. For my part, I never got to know what it was like to have a girlfriend in my teens, or a wife in my twenties. Some people get married in their forties, and those people probably won't have kids. These things can hurt, and spiritual-sounding platitudes don't help you much in situations like that. We need to mourn these sorts of losses appropriately. It’s part of being emotionally healthy. of course, instead, we often insulate ourselves from the hurt through, say denial ("Ah, my singleness doesn't bother me"), minimizing ("yeah, it hurts that I never get to have kids, oh, well, big deal"), along with rationalizing, blaming, intellectualizing, and distracting (like joking about it, or changing the subject)

Now, sure, you could make it bigger than it is. For example, my cat dying and a friend dying should elicit different amounts of mourning. But overreactions to a "minor" loss is usually a sign that there is a bigger loss that hasn’t been grieved. This goes back to what I mentioned earlier about the different kinds of loves.

A hard part about being single, at least in my experience, is that your church community might not know how to help you in this area. In my experience, pastors, church elders, and most congregants are married, and often married. It's not their fault, really, but they often just ignore you (your struggles with singleness, I mean) or, at best, wave it away with platitudes about "God's timing." But they don't really discuss the problem in depth. But, personally, it's hard for me to get mad about that, really. I mean, the Bible even says more about marriage than it does about singleness, so, understandably, they're going to talk more about marriage. And the Bible doesn't even talk about temporary singleness. It talks about lifelong celibacy. And, when churches talk about this subject, they'll often get very specific about the stuff we shouldn't do, while giving only platitudes about the stuff we should do.

Another hard part about this is that I'm not quite sure that "the right one" even exists. God doesn't promise marriage to any of us. How can you trust God to fulfill a promise He never made to you. The idea of a "soulmate'" comes from Greek philosophy and mythology. But the Bible doesn't mention. Jesus said there is nor marriage in Heaven. And it doesn't seem like Paul believed in "soulmates" (see 1 Corinthians 7:39) Paul didn't say, “Go and find your wife.” He said “Go get married.”

Besides, usually when we think about "the right one" we think about how this person will be right for me. Not so much the other way around.

And of God's really a Puppetmaster arranging all this stuff, well, then, why did He change the way people get married? Apparently, God "used" to do this sort of thing via arranged marriages at age 14-18. Then God changed His mind and decided to delay marriage until around 18 and make it less arranged by parents, but your spouse was always from your same caste and race. Then, later, God changed His mind again and did away with that sort of thing. More recently, apparently God decided that the early twenties would work better for marriage and He'll bring The One via courting and then later dating. Finally, today, apparently, God has determined that your late twenties or early thirties (more than a decade after you first desire sex ) would be a better time to bring you the The One. The heck is going on?

I'm not sure if "waiting for the right one" is always a good idea. I wouldn't just "wait" for some partner to show up one day. If you're, say, 25 or older, and you want to marry, and you're still single, you should probably put some serious effort into it. It's not going to "just happen."

It's not a sign of "weak faith" to take action. Isn't it in acting that our faith is proven? Yes, we need to do it with God. But we still need to do it.

Some people might also wonder if it's even OK to be tired of being single. After all, isn't being "content" with your singleness The Good Christian Thing To Do? Well, no. When Paul talks about contentment in Philippians 4, he's talking about our ultimate contentment in God. He also mentions being content in all things, not with all things. I think there's a difference. And, in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul even says that, if you're not content with being single, then maybe it's better for you to marry. Paul does say that he, personally, is content with being single. But he also says that not everyone is like him, and that's fine.

So now the Rod/Lovette Show is moving to this thread, I take it.

Here we go again. Season 4, I think this is.

 

[Lynx]

Oh my turn again.

What kind of tea? You are not allowed coffee. Sorry ALL the coffee has run out.

Darjeeling please.

What kind of appetizer for the first date?

 

[RodColeman]

So now the Rod/Lovette Show is moving to this thread, I take it.

Here we go again. Season 4, I think this is.

Hey, believe it or not, I wasn't thinking about our good friend Lovette at all when I decided to post here. The OP actually invited me to do so, based on my previous obsession with this topic.

I'm just genuinely interested in this topic and enjoy discussing it, in case that wasn't obvious at this point.

 

[RodColeman]

@RodColeman I'm pretty sure I'm old enough to be your mother, BUT if I wasn't and if I wanted a sweet Christian potential hubby, I'd be PMing you before anyone else did Idk what's up but so many on here lament about being single and when a really cool guy appears....crickets. I hope I'm wrong and you get some interesting pm's,

Aw, thanks! Yeah, who knows, haha?

It's happened to me on Reddit before, actually, although the woman in question was simply too far away.

 

[seoulsearch]

Aw, thanks! Yeah, who knows, haha?

It's happened to me on Reddit before, actually, although the woman in question was simply too far away.

Are you SURE it was the distance??

Or were you trying to regulate how much popcorn she should have...

(Joke from another thread.)

 

[RodColeman]

Are you SURE it was the distance??

Or were you trying to regulate how much popcorn she should have...

(Joke from another thread.)

Oh, most definitely the distance. No way she would ever consume as much popcorn as the notorious Seoulsearch!

 

[seoulsearch]

Oh, most definitely the distance. No way she would ever consume as much popcorn as the notorious Seoulsearch!

If y'all would cut back on some of the Singles Drama around here, I wouldn't have to eat quite so much dang popcorn!

 

[RodColeman]

If y'all would cut back on some of the Singles Drama around here, I wouldn't have to eat quite so much dang popcorn!

Well, yes, you have a point.

 

[Karlon]

Dating Tip of The Day:

Please don't complain about your sex life (or lack thereof) with your ex on the first date.

If we got to the point where we were talking about marriage, I understand this would be an important subject (experiences and expectations.)

But no, it's not really going to make me want to know more about you when one of the first things you tell me about yourself is that your ex-wife had to bribe you with sex, and then tell me you'd love it if I tried to bribe you. (True story.) I don't even know your full name.

As I said it's a subject that would need to be talked about when looking at marriage, but please, just not on the very first date.

Anyway...

For those who have asked someone out --

* How do you handle rejection?

* And how do you work up the courage to ask someone else at another time?

Rejection was really, really hard on me in the past. I would ugly cry and drown in self-pity and do all the things (and I'm not criticizing anyone who copes that way, too.) I still would if I felt the rejection was that bad.

But these days, I just try to focus on other life goals.

How about everyone else?

(@TabinRivCA -- thanks for the awesome thread!! And please, you need to light some fires here more often!!!)

hi everyone, i'm married. simply i'll say this on how i handled rejection: "alright, bye"! & that was the end of that. i just walked away & forgot about it.
o