The Girl Before And After!

[Dino246]

I've heard it said, "Your eyes should be wide open before you get married, and half-closed thereafter."

 

[CarriePie]

You have never noticed how men change the same??? Open you eyes.

I'm reminded of my grandparents. My grandfather was not very active and he was heavy set. My grandmother was very active and had probably the most healthy weight of my maternal family. Mind you, he didn't get overweight from her cooking. He liked candy bars and in the evening he drank a lot of beer lol. Anyway, he'd call her fat and that always bothered me. I thought maybe it was just him until I was at a get together with other people in another state and heard a husband poke fun at his wife's weight and she was not overweight at all! Just odd

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

I love this. This warms my heart <3 As I've said, you are a blessing!

Self defense training is definitely needed, if you ask me. I live on the edge of the country. This area attracts squatters and ne'er-do-wells. I have no problems with going outside at any time of the night if I hear suspicious noises. I'm always armed when do this. It's wise to be able to protect oneself wherever you live, armed or not.

---

I wanted to add, concerning workouts, working out isn't just good for the body. A lot of the time I do it for my mental well being. I just feel a lot better when I workout. I started doing it for my physical health, but I realized it was helping my mental health as much (or more) than my physical health. I feel better when I make working out a part of my life, and like the weight on my shoulders isn't quite so heavy.

I agree totally. Your lifestyle helps in every part of life.
Exercise is very good for processing out the toxins and stress hormones.
I'd not have survived the many traumas and injuries of the past year plus without walking and staying in the Word.

 

[Daisy2]

This is such a good point, Daisy.

One thing that helps keep my weight steady is being able to control my own food supply. I can't imagine what it must be like for wives and busy moms who have to cook meals that somehow meet everyone's preferences, allergies, and needs. I've had friends who thrive on diets with the opposite main components as mine, and that would be hard to be around that all the time. It's especially hard if one person stays naturally thin and the other can gain weight just by reading a recipe.

Finding someone who's a good cook who can also stay thin doesn't seem to be very common.

I've told this story before, but I took classes at the home a beautiful Christian woman who was in her 40's, married with a family. She was a first-rate cook and had her own baking business. But it came with a price, because she was also in the midst of losing 120 pounds to try to get back to a healthy weight.

I enjoyed her classes but at the end, I threw all her recipes away -- because I knew if I cooked that way, in a few years, I'd be in the same boat.

For me, tonight's dinner was a salad with canned beans for protein, celery with hummus, and half an orange.

I know I wouldn't stay married very long if I tried to feed that to a husband.

But he would have to understand that we'd have to make some serious compromises, because I know that's what I have to do to stay healthy.

Seoulsearch, yes, I've heard the same. Some women can count calories and stick to 1,200 a day while eating three meals, just in smaller portions. But I've never been able to do that. Honestly, it's unfair because a lot of it comes down to height. People who are taller seem to have an easier time staying naturally thin. For me, just like you, it's about sticking to two meals a day—oatmeal for breakfast and a reasonable dinner at night.

 

[Daisy2]

Karlon, it's great you and your wife are healthy, but the way you speak on these matters concerning women raises the question: Do you honestly think your wife feels comfortable enough around you to gain any weight?

 

[Gideon300]

This topic, probably, most would consider, is for the ladies. So, guys all over the world question why women gain weight after they become a girlfriend or wife. We know partly, the reason why. Women become attached & feel like they are secure so contentment abounds. Most men out there have dealt with this issue especially in America. here's the meaty part of it, no pun intended; girls wonder why guys are not attracted to them anymore because they gained weight. Well, all you women know that guys are attracted by looks which God has designed. So, if a women was large when the guy noticed her, he wouldn't have asked her on a date! No mockery or disparagement intended here. Please girls, Christian honest answers only. by course, guys go ahead & answer too.

"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30

I've known my my wife since 1983. We were not even friends then. We married 2-1/2 years ago. Physically, she is obviously older. Spiritually, she has been transformed. I tell her daily that she is gorgeous. She is to me.

If men want a decent woman, they need to be decent men. I'd advise any man seeking a wife to check out Mark Gungor. He knows what makes women tick.

 

[Genipher]

I LOVED reading your story!!

Thank you so much for sharing it, and congratulations on your TENTH BABY!!! WOWZERS!!!

It's awesome that your husband has loved you and is attracted to you through all the literal ups and downs.

We would all be truly blessed to find a love like you and your husband have!

God bless you and all of your family!

Seoulsearch, yes, I've heard the same. Some women can count calories and stick to 1,200 a day while eating three meals, just in smaller portions. But I've never been able to do that. Honestly, it's unfair because a lot of it comes down to height. People who are taller seem to have an easier time staying naturally thin. For me, just like you, it's about sticking to two meals a day—oatmeal for breakfast and a reasonable dinner at night.

Taller people often carry the weight better, too, giving the impression that they don't weigh as much as they might.

 

[Genipher]

Karlon, it's great you and your wife are healthy, but the way you speak on these matters concerning women raises the question: Do you honestly think your wife feels comfortable enough around you to gain any weight?

That's a good question. If my husband made the kind of comments Karlon has, I'd be stressed all the time, worrying about gaining a pound. No wonder his wife gets in a bajillion steps a day.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

I'll be praying for your safety and for your case!

I'm thankful my father instilled into me to be aware of my surroundings. I'm armed because he left me with plenty to protect myself. Growing up, he'd tell me about dangers and what to do if I found myself in a bad situation. He'd always tell me to keep my head on a swivel.

Those who didn't grow up with someone in their life like my father need people like you. I'll also be praying that you, as you said: recover quickly and get back to it. Self defense is critical in my viewpoint. Even us people that had someone like my father still need to practice self defense skills. It's something we all can use.

We had good fathers. I'm often grateful as you are of the unique training, skills, and love he imparted. As a teenager I took that for granted, but now see it's easier to cherish God and love Him because He helped me see how Dad loved me. He gave up so much for blessing me in life.
He never even remarried in spite of remaining attractive throughout his life.

I now try to think of how I can bless him when we get together again.

I think your Dad would be happy to know how you take care of yourself and still follow his wisdom.
Love is another gift he gave that lasts forever.

 

[CarriePie]

We had good fathers. I'm often grateful as you are of the unique training, skills, and love he imparted. As a teenager I took that for granted, but now see it's easier to cherish God and love Him because He helped me see how Dad loved me. He gave up so much for blessing me in life.
He never even remarried in spite of remaining attractive throughout his life.

I now try to think of how I can bless him when we get together again.

I think your Dad would be happy to know how you take care of yourself and still follow his wisdom.

I'm beyond thankful we had good fathers. What a blessing.
I miss my father something awful, but I know I'll see him again. And I believe the Lord took him for a reason and left me here for a reason, that keeps me going.

Love is another gift he gave that lasts forever.

Beautiful! It reminds me of a quote I like, "Eternity is where true love exists."

 

[Godsgirl1983]

Taller people often carry the weight better, too, giving the impression that they don't weigh as much as they might.

If I wasn't so tall I'd be much more round (it piles on and carries differently on taller than shorter ladies)

 

[JaumeJ]

You have never noticed how men change the same??? Open you eyes.

Posts Script? My own Mom was a knock-out well into her 50[s, not that this is a plus or a minus for a person, but I do not see so many men or women changing drastically upon wedding. This is jusst stereotyping in my book.

 

[JaumeJ]

You have never noticed how men change the same??? Open you eyes.

Posts Script? My own Mom was a knock-out well into her 50[s, not that this is a plus or a minus for a person, but I do not see so many men or women changing drastically upon wedding. This is jusst stereotyping in my book.

 

[Lynx]

Karlon, if you truly loved the person, it shouldn't matter what weight they are. Do their eyes or their personality change? No, then it's lust and not love. The American diet was born to keep people fat; unless you are constantly on a diet like vegan, keto, OMAD, or EOD, you're going to be fat. People can't eat the American diet and be skinny. It's just not possible. Also, when you're single, you come home and you can call it a day after a cup of yogurt and some fruit, but there's also a lifestyle change when you get married. You have to make a good hearty breakfast in the morning and a great dinner with a dessert at night. So the real question is, can the chef resist what she has made and eat a salad?

Eh, that's just Karlon. You get used to him after a while. He occasionally goes on these rants about women vs weight vs attraction.

"Nothing new under the sun..." We've been through this dance with him multiple times and probably will a few more before life is through. This thread is just a reproduction of many other forum conversations in the past.

 

[In3dee]

This topic, probably, most would consider, is for the ladies. So, guys all over the world question why women gain weight after they become a girlfriend or wife.

And women all over the world question why Christian men are so hung up on weight gain, forgetting that they took vows....

We know partly, the reason why. Women become attached & feel like they are secure so contentment abounds.

Huh. And here I thought it had to do with childbirth, health issues, or even depression; because they worry themselves sick that their DH might be one of those who can't (or won't) fight off the lust of the flesh and forget to love their wives as commanded.

Most men out there have dealt with this issue especially in America. here's the meaty part of it, no pun intended; girls wonder why guys are not attracted to them anymore because they gained weight. Well, all you women know that guys are attracted by looks which God has designed.

Attracted by looks. Yes, the same can be said for women. Yet fewer of us dump a husband because he got fat, bald or wrinkly.

So, if a women was large when the guy noticed her, he wouldn't have asked her on a date!

1. large women do get asked on dates and..... SURPRISE! Asked to marry. I know, give yourself a moment to recover from the shock.

2. According to your warped perspective.... if a woman is large when he marries her, then she goes on a diet and drops weight..... is he then un-attracted to her?

 

[Seeker47]

like what?

Sometimes estrangement, infidelity and divorce.

 

[Eli1]

You always sound as if you don't know about anything

 

[seoulsearch]

Just to clarify, Eli used a very small clip from my post.

My original post said that it always seems as if Karlon doesn't know anything about how women's bodies are affected by some of the biological events they go through.

I certainly don't think that Karlon "doesn't sound as if he doesn't know anything" as the part Eli quoted implies -- I do find some of Karlon's posts to be very interesting.

But whenever Karlon brings up this subject, and as Lynx said, it tends to be often, he never even acknowledges the existence of giving birth and menopause, and seems to view them as just excuses when they are brought up, which always astonishes me.

 

[Eli1]

I certainly don't think that Karlon "doesn't sound as if he doesn't know anything" as the part Eli quoted implies -- I do find some of Karlon's posts to be very interesting.

This is why i told him on another post that "i'm glad that i agree with you on one thing since we disagree on 99 things".

 

[seoulsearch]

That's a good question. If my husband made the kind of comments Karlon has, I'd be stressed all the time, worrying about gaining a pound. No wonder his wife gets in a bajillion steps a day.

Years ago I was in a restaurant and overheard a father berating his daughter for her food choices while they were ordering, telling her she was going to order something non-fattening instead. He then went on to lecture her that there were more fat people in America than thin people, and she "didn't want to be one of the fat people."

I was thinking to myself, "Yeah -- this is exactly how anorexia is born."

I silently prayed for her.

And I do believe that God holds the people who plant the seeds of dysfunction in others responsible for their words and actions.