Hey
@zeroturbulence,
I should clarify, the things I'm about to say are NOT because I am in any way disagreeing you.
Rather, I'm just quoting your post because it made me think about a lot of things I was already thinking about.
Please forgive my rambling.
I often wonder if what we see in society is because modern times and technology has brought things to the surface that were always there, but tightly held in place by a different set of social norms.
For example, some people will say racism doesn't exist today. But those who have seen or experienced it know that racism is still very much alive -- it's just that it's no longer considered as "polite" to express, or can get you into trouble -- so maybe some people just stay a little more quiet about how they really feel (especially if it will cost them their job, etc.)
It hasn't changed the feelings for some -- it's just put parameters around when and where certain things can be said. And I think it's the same for almost every other area of society as well.
I was once talking with a woman in her late 80's and she said, "When they tell you the old days were better, don't believe them -- the old days were terrible." She told me about an instance of child sexual assault that surely would have happened if her father hadn't gone against the way most people in her family thought at the time.
She said everyone else said adults would never be attracted to children, especially not a relative -- but her father knew better and kept his daughter from ever being alone with this relative -- who was begging him to let her stay at his house on the weekends.
I personally believe nothing in society is really new -- it's just shifted according to what is and isn't popular.
I think in past America (USA,) there was a lot more emphasis on social duty. The good of a family's reputation or the collective population was seen as more important than the individual, and so a lot of people stayed in situations (marriages) in which they were deathly unhappy -- but reputation and duty trumped individual happiness.
I've known many people, Christians included, who've said they stayed married out of duty (and obedience to God,) even though they are personally miserable. I remember one friend at Lutheran school who said her mother was only staying because of the kids.
I think society's shift of emphasis on individual happiness over social expectation has a lot to do with why so many people are, or are becoming, single -- hence the large number of "gray divorces" (happening later in life, after people have been married for decades.)
I believe many people are now acting on feelings they've had for years, maybe even a lifetime, but kept held in, because they're burned out on serving others. With it becoming "socially acceptable," people are all reaching for a slice of happiness for themselves. And younger single people, seeing that it didn't work out for their parents or older generations, are much more cautious about jumping into marriage themselves.
As Christians, we all know that the only way marriage is going to work is if we actively die to self and somehow find contentment in serving others -- God, spouse, and family.
Human history has shown that most aren't willing, or very good, at putting themselves last -- which is why I personally think so many are, and will probably continue to be single.
Very much including myself.
