very interesting!!! i never liked the expression: "you should get married"? there;'s myriad # of issues, characteristics, attitudes & personalities to say that to someone. to me, you would have to know someone inside & out to say that.
Why Are So Many Christians Still Single?
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I believe we are in end times as described in 2 Timothy 3...Hey @zeroturbulence,
I should clarify, the things I'm about to say are NOT because I am in any way disagreeing you.
Rather, I'm just quoting your post because it made me think about a lot of things I was already thinking about.Please forgive my rambling.
I often wonder if what we see in society is because modern times and technology has brought things to the surface that were always there, but tightly held in place by a different set of social norms.
For example, some people will say racism doesn't exist today. But those who have seen or experienced it know that racism is still very much alive -- it's just that it's no longer considered as "polite" to express, or can get you into trouble -- so maybe some people just stay a little more quiet about how they really feel (especially if it will cost them their job, etc.)
It hasn't changed the feelings for some -- it's just put parameters around when and where certain things can be said. And I think it's the same for almost every other area of society as well.
I was once talking with a woman in her late 80's and she said, "When they tell you the old days were better, don't believe them -- the old days were terrible." She told me about an instance of child sexual assault that surely would have happened if her father hadn't gone against the way most people in her family thought at the time.
She said everyone else said adults would never be attracted to children, especially not a relative -- but her father knew better and kept his daughter from ever being alone with this relative -- who was begging him to let her stay at his house on the weekends.
I personally believe nothing in society is really new -- it's just shifted according to what is and isn't popular.
I think in past America (USA,) there was a lot more emphasis on social duty. The good of a family's reputation or the collective population was seen as more important than the individual, and so a lot of people stayed in situations (marriages) in which they were deathly unhappy -- but reputation and duty trumped individual happiness.
I've known many people, Christians included, who've said they stayed married out of duty (and obedience to God,) even though they are personally miserable. I remember one friend at Lutheran school who said her mother was only staying because of the kids.
I think society's shift of emphasis on individual happiness over social expectation has a lot to do with why so many people are, or are becoming, single -- hence the large number of "gray divorces" (happening later in life, after people have been married for decades.)
I believe many people are now acting on feelings they've had for years, maybe even a lifetime, but kept held in, because they're burned out on serving others. With it becoming "socially acceptable," people are all reaching for a slice of happiness for themselves. And younger single people, seeing that it didn't work out for their parents or older generations, are much more cautious about jumping into marriage themselves.
As Christians, we all know that the only way marriage is going to work is if we actively die to self and somehow find contentment in serving others -- God, spouse, and family.
Human history has shown that most aren't willing, or very good, at putting themselves last -- which is why I personally think so many are, and will probably continue to be single.
Very much including myself.
But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. (kinda sounds like feminism) Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.
(2 Timothy 3:1-9 NIV)
It's an interesting thing.
When I was in Lutheran school, we were taught that the disciples thought they were living in the end times too (as in, they thought that Jesus would come back during their lifetime.)
I don't know if that's true or not, but if the disciples thought those were the end times, and it's over 2,000 years later...
If by some chance, we are living in the "times before the end times," just as the disciples were...
I'm always left wondering how bad things are going to get before the end times really come.
Here's some food to add to the wrist mill of thinking....
Teenage pregnancies are way down.
So are abortions as a whole.
But essentially we are no longer making romantic relationships with the goal of permanence between men and women.
We have told a whole generation recently they must pick anything LGBTQ or whatever but heterosexuality upon a whim and hold to it forever. They picked "none of the above" and refused to engage.
The truth of the situation is that narcissism is at such epidemic proportions it no longer has the social stigma of being wrong. We do not extend sufficient grace to others or receive sufficient grace from others to begin to form a relationship of permanence.
No kindness exercised anymore for a small group much less a broader audience.
Today your average person has the same poor boundary issues as the prostitute. Just moved to a different location. Neither is healthy...
When both sides of a potential relationship start out with "I deserve....." it's not going anywhere....
If you start with; can I give you, provide this for you, do this for you, or help you....
Thats the start of a relationship that has traction.
I've told the story of an educated "barbie" so many times next to the story of a young lady with the strawberry on her face and body....the young lady with the strawberry made bundt cakes every week.....just being kind. And got a nice mixer for a wedding present but the "barbie" never got a date.
Can young people today even make cakes? Will such cakes be received? Can they think of it on their own? Will scorn and ridicule of bringing a cake stop long enough for appreciation? (Citing gluten allergies and etc) literally kindness is beng regarded as an unforgivable sin..
There is a well-known author/speaker who pointed something out that I think is interesting. Before Christ's first coming, God's people dd not have a homeland (they were slaves in Egypt). Then Israel was established, the temple was built and Christ was born. Then after the Babylonian conquest of 70 AD, the temple was destroyed, the Israelites lost their homeland and were scattered around the earth. But God said in the Bible that they would once again be gathered from all over and will be established in Israel.It's an interesting thing.
When I was in Lutheran school, we were taught that the disciples thought they were living in the end times too (as in, they thought that Jesus would come back during their lifetime.)
I don't know if that's true or not, but if the disciples thought those were the end times, and it's over 2,000 years later...
If by some chance, we are living in the "times before the end times," just as the disciples were...
I'm always left wondering how bad things are going to get before the end times really come.
That is what happened in 1948. Israel was declared a nation. East Jerusalem remained under the control of Jordan until 1967 when Israel took it back in the 6 Day War. The stage is set for Jesus's second coming.
Divorced, I see it as having been an Ezra union more than a marriage, but I am not one to go against Christ's words as he may have seen it differently.
This sums it pretty well.
With so many dating "tools" now, and online dating, people also have more choice, which might be leading to more decision paralysis. I mean, in the old days, you couldn't travel very far, and your social circle included a smaller number of people. Plus marriage was seen as a way to prosper and survive economically, especially for women. So I'm sure there was more "push" to marry, and to marry young, in "the old days." People married young, because they weren't sure when or if a "better" match would come along.
These days, people are more self-sufficient, often. Plus, with online dating tools, there's a lot more freedom of choice in regards to who to marry. And, it seems, the more freedom of choice we have, the more indecision there is.
So I don't know if the digital age has "destroyed" society, but it certainly has its effects. And, for sure, many of these effects are bad.
This made me laugh because sometimes I feel exactly the same way, just head down pulling the yoke by myself. It is very smart to be alone rather than commit to a relationship/marriage with someone where there isn't any love. The Lord is love so any good Christian marriage should be founded on the love of Christ and each other.
It's not an easy burden to carry but I pray the Lord sends you comfort and strength as you continue to run the race He has set for you.
I'm around if you ever want to talk about our Faith or just life in general
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Thank you, feel free to message we can encourage each other:）This made me laugh because sometimes I feel exactly the same way, just head down pulling the yoke by myself. It is very smart to be alone rather than commit to a relationship/marriage with someone where there isn't any love. The Lord is love so any good Christian marriage should be founded on the love of Christ and each other.
It's not an easy burden to carry but I pray the Lord sends you comfort and strength as you continue to run the race He has set for you.
I'm around if you ever want to talk about our Faith or just life in general
My username is stonelion0314 or StoneLionStrategies on there if you want to add me
Truer words were never spoken.
I just wonder how that "strawberry" woman would have turned out if she was prettier.
I remember a story of a physically beautiful woman who was also very bitter. Some guy tried to flirt with her and she showed him a picture of a very ugly woman and asked, "Would you go out with her?" Turned out that was the same woman, before a LOT of tinkering to make her look more appealing.
Do not envy the pretty people their beauty, for they can never tell who their real friends are. Neither assume ugly people are truly humble, for they have no choice but to be humble.
The current modern system sets insurmountable obstacles that hinders you from meeting potential partners and build relationships, whether you're Christian or not. Just consider being single the cost of your discipleship.
Nope, the only reason is so many identify themselves primarily as "single" instead of anything else. If you introduce yourself to other people, would you tell them first and foremost that you're "single"?
Nothing wrong with that at all. 1Cor 7:8 KJV "I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I" .
Yes. Divorce can be a traumatic experience for a person, I have known men who were divorced years, even decades earlier and are still hurting over it, emotionally and financially. With 'no fault divorces' a man can feel likes he is doing all the right things, do his best and then still be squelched on, having a life turned upside down. It is counter-intuitive and counter-Biblical. Younger men may see this and be wary. If divorce rates are varying between a quarter and a half of marriages, that's pretty grim odds of having your life wrecked.
Divorce statistics change but I have seen surveys which show that the divorce rate is higher among identifying Christians than among the general population, and surveys which show that Christians have a much higher divorce rate than Hindus, Muslims or Atheists. For example https://christian-witness.org/christian-divorce-statistics/ , 66% of divorced adults in the USA identify as Christian while 62% of adults identify as Christian. Amongst Christians the rate of divorce is highest among Evangelicals. It's therefore a question to ask, Jesus told his church to be salt and light, why then is the divorce rate higher among church goers than non church goers?
I don't believe by and large the modern church has a biblical world view, humanism, prosperity gospel, feminism, socialism are all creeping in and infecting pulpits. The bible warns that a time will come when preachers will tell people whatever they want to hear (2 Timothy 4:3) for the sake of popularity. I have even encountered churches that are ok with couples cohabiting, scared of losing them. Different churches seem to teach different things on marriage and sexuality or indeed any issue, sometimes these different things are not biblical, they contradict each other and contradict the bible. Some denominations marry people of the same gender, increasingly now so.
IMHO a believer should be seeking marriage with someone who has a biblical worldview, but it can be hard to find a church or congregation with a biblical worldview now. For example: https://www.christianitydaily.com/n...a-survey-reveals-family-research-council.html This research found that only 6% of Americans had a biblical worldview, while 48% claim to be living a Christian lifestyle. That's 42% of Americans who think they're living as Christians but don't know what it is to live as a Christian.
So to answer the question why are there so many single people:- it's difficult to find someone to be equally yoked with, there's a high risk of a marriage catastrophically imploding and there is confusion among Christians and Churches as to what marriage actually is.
God Bless.