Divorce?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

calibob

Sinner saved by grace
May 29, 2018
4,123
3,055
113
65
lawton ok
Actually we are to love our neighbors AS ourselves. That presumes that it is right to love oneself. You're misreading that text.
Absolutely, just don't be in love with ourselves. That's sick.
 
May 1, 2019
51
15
8
50
Just reaching out to anyone who’s recently divorced or considering it. How do you know it’s the right thing to do? My story is long so I won’t bore anyone but I’m very unhappily married. I don’t believe in divorce but I feel I’ve tried everything to make my marriage work. I’ve placed it in God’s hands at this point but I don’t honestly feel it can be saved. I’m just tired of living a lie, pretending to be happy and being more lonely than if I was actually alone. I miss love honestly.

Greetings MissingLove, You have opened a deep chasm with this question. I have prayed and studied this your years and have so many things I could share, but would you mind me asking if there is any desire to stay together despite it all?
 

dalyn

Junior Member
Feb 9, 2017
17
22
3
What can I tell you is what I was also told. Your feelings and thoughts is what made up your soul. The weight of your heart and the length of your thoughts, and faith of willingness, are your control and tools to come up to what is best for you. But inside you, you have the spirit of God. Jesus when he resurrected He said I will leave you my spirit, that gives our body to become his vessel, his home. The spirit is active in you but you got to feed your soul, your mind with God's words, and have your heart be checked. So the spirit that is in you can manifest in your decisions and be stronger enough to fight the desires of your flesh, your body, selfishness, pride, evil desires. 1 John 2:17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever. Do not love anything in this world for you cannot keep anything from it, soon it will all pass away. Although, we can pray for God that may his will be done on earth as it is in Heaven, which is a promise of peace and holy goodness, that we can have in this world, in his grace, mercy, and favor. James 4:6 But He gives us more grace. This is why it says: “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

And why we live on earth... so that we may glorify him... if anything in our life distance us from keeping a relationship with God... may it be with work.. family... relationship ... we must align ourselves, and bring everything that surrounds us into worshiping him... or else we got to start being resistant to rebuking what is not of Gods.

I hope I was able to send something useful.
 

kaylagrl

Senior Member
Oct 18, 2014
13,344
1,352
113
May you seek God’s Word, and trust Him. Our life here on earth is temporary. What is important is to follow Jesus and be obedient to His Word. His word is truth. We are blessed if we suffer for Him, staying unhappy in the marriage because that is what God wants because He hates divorce, is suffering for Him. God bless you.

Sorry. I don't believe God wants us to suffer in a marriage. I don't think divorce is always the answer, it should be the very last resort. But when that other person refuses council and refuses to talk to their spouse something needs to be done. The OP hasn't been here in a long while and I hope she is doing well. But it is a very dangerous thing to tell a woman God wants her to suffer in a marriage. That's wrong.
 

kaylagrl

Senior Member
Oct 18, 2014
13,344
1,352
113
Why do we go into marriage assuming it will make us happy forever, when it's God's place to do that, not marriage's? Seek God, and let God worry about your happiness, don't place that burden on a mere human husband.
Her husband has refused to go to counseling and refused to talk about the issue of having children. He agreed to it before marriage and now won't discuss it. That's not placing a burden on him. He played false with her. Had he been truthful she wouldn't have married him because she wanted children.
 

kaylagrl

Senior Member
Oct 18, 2014
13,344
1,352
113
Hi Missing Love,
Im new to this chatroom and forums, i believe the Lord led me to join this chats so i can share to you and others. I feel for you and understand your situation, i myself is not divorced nor separated, but currently very unhappily married. Im married for 28 years this june. Because of my husband (he is unbeliever) becoming an enemy to me and abusing me emotionally, and much more... i prayed and asked the Lord about divorce. He really hates divorce, He wants us to be forgiving, to endure. Like what He did with us, and the church. I pleaded with the Lord to take my love away from my husband so that i will not be hurt anymore, and He told me, if He will take away His love for us when we disappoint or sin or do things that does not please Him, then no one will be saved. I believe every trials or circumstances has a purpose and a reason, and one of it is to make our faith grow.
Let the Lord Jesus be your focus, seek Him and His ways, do things to please Him. And I pray, may the Lord gives you grace to do the right thing to please the Lord.

Galatians 2:20 NASB
[20] I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

The Lord does not expect you to stay in an emotionally abusive marriage! You can still love and pray for your spouse. But you should not be staying in the marriage. Go for help and if he refuses you need to divorce. God doesn't expect you to stay in an abusive situation and please don't tell others to do so. It's very dangerous. I knew a "Christian" judge that told a women to go back to a husband that was raping her telling her it was her husband so it wasn't possible for her to be raped. After the abuse got so bad she finally had to leave him. No,God never expects a person to stay in an abusive relationship,not ever.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
27,047
5,407
113
64
Florida
Sorry. I don't believe God wants us to suffer in a marriage. I don't think divorce is always the answer, it should be the very last resort. But when that other person refuses council and refuses to talk to their spouse something needs to be done. The OP hasn't been here in a long while and I hope she is doing well. But it is a very dangerous thing to tell a woman God wants her to suffer in a marriage. That's wrong.
It is stated in scripture that God wants us to have life and have it more abundantly. He absolutely not want anyone to suffer needlessly in a horrible miserable marriage. I agree with your estimation that divorce is the last resort to be considered and possibly acted upon. It is true that God hates divorce but God hates anything that hurts others. Fortunately, God understands full well the human condition and the causes leading to the choice on whether to divorce or not.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
27,047
5,407
113
64
Florida
Why do we go into marriage assuming it will make us happy forever, when it's God's place to do that, not marriage's? Seek God, and let God worry about your happiness, don't place that burden on a mere human husband.
Not sure I have ever met anyone that assumed that marriage is the ultimate source of happiness during our sojourn on earth. That being said, I believe that God does indeed want us to experience a certain measure of happiness in marriage, otherwise what it the point of the exercise?
 

Deade

Called of God
Dec 17, 2017
7,702
4,289
113
73
Actually we are to love our neighbors AS ourselves. That presumes that it is right to love oneself. You're misreading that text.
According to this, we all do:
Eph. 5:28-30
"So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. :cool:
 
May 12, 2019
5
10
3
The Lord does not expect you to stay in an emotionally abusive marriage! You can still love and pray for your spouse. But you should not be staying in the marriage. Go for help and if he refuses you need to divorce. God doesn't expect you to stay in an abusive situation and please don't tell others to do so. It's very dangerous. I knew a "Christian" judge that told a women to go back to a husband that was raping her telling her it was her husband so it wasn't possible for her to be raped. After the abuse got so bad she finally had to leave him. No,God never expects a person to stay in an abusive relationship,not ever.
Hi Kayla,

She mentioned that her husband is a good person, he just don’t open up to her or talk to her about his inner feelings and ablut plans pf having children, she did not say she was abused physically. I still believe that divorce is not an option unless there is immorality involved, as what the word of God says. And what i mean suffering, is like when we are in a difficult situation, we seek God for help and intervention but if its not time yet for Him to intervene, we wait, even while suffering, because we know that God is faithful, He will help us in His perfect time, as for now, He is teaching us some things through our problems and trials in life. She is seeking what God wants, and God says He hates divorce, God teaches us how to deal things here on earth. 1cor13, ... love endures, seeks not our own.... if we want to please God, we wait. Telling a person to go ahead and divorce is not a good advice. You will sin also, because you will be telling or advising her against God’s will. Matthew 7:21, remember only those who do the will of the Father in heaven can enter the kingdom of God. Jesus already told us, in this world we will have tribulations and sufferings. And through these sufferings, He will make us grow in knowing Him.

God bless you
 
Oct 18, 2014
13,344
1,352
113
Hi Kayla,

She mentioned that her husband is a good person, he just don’t open up to her or talk to her about his inner feelings and ablut plans pf having children, she did not say she was abused physically. I still believe that divorce is not an option unless there is immorality involved, as what the word of God says. And what i mean suffering, is like when we are in a difficult situation, we seek God for help and intervention but if its not time yet for Him to intervene, we wait, even while suffering, because we know that God is faithful, He will help us in His perfect time, as for now, He is teaching us some things through our problems and trials in life. She is seeking what God wants, and God says He hates divorce, God teaches us how to deal things here on earth. 1cor13, ... love endures, seeks not our own.... if we want to please God, we wait. Telling a person to go ahead and divorce is not a good advice. You will sin also, because you will be telling or advising her against God’s will. Matthew 7:21, remember only those who do the will of the Father in heaven can enter the kingdom of God. Jesus already told us, in this world we will have tribulations and sufferings. And through these sufferings, He will make us grow in knowing Him.

God bless you


I think you misunderstood, I was talking about your situation when you said "Because of my husband (he is unbeliever) becoming an enemy to me and abusing me emotionally, and much more... " I wasn't talking about the OP.