Divorce?

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K

Kim82

Guest
I could be wrong and you could be 100 percent correct but if someone takes your word for it and in God's eyes it's wrong then idk wouldn't that be false preaching. Anyways just throwing it out there.
I am neither for or against divorce. But then that's quite easy for me to say. I've never been married or divorced.

So I can't advise on the issue either.

And while some will say you can divorce on the grounds of adultery. Others will say, you must not get divorced because of that either. And even if you do divorce, you must remain single for the rest of your life or until your ex dies.

Oh sure that's easy, if you got divorced at the age of 70. But what if you got divorced when you're young? Oh boy! You better get comfy being single for many years to come. Either that or remarry your ex.

But unless you find yourself in a terrible marriage, you just don't know what you'll do if things become unbearable.
 

Hungry

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2012
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So now that you have improved yourself, you no longer need your wife's encouragement, as such she has become redundant and you would now want a woman who is on the same level as yourself?

She gave you attention, made you feel special when you needed it, now that she needs it, you can't be bothered, because you're a busy man and all, trying to get more out of life.

But while you are busy pursuing all you can in life, show some appreciation for your wife, who married you long before you improved yourself.

Don't let her feel like she's inferior to your accomplishments. Let her know that your ship still needs a sail. Yes, you can do that while pursuing other goals. Don't leave her aside, include her in your plans.

Or better yet, encourage her to go improve herself too. Get bigger education, earn more money and stop stressing on you. It will make her happier. In fact, all women should take this advise.
View attachment 196522
It’s not as simple as you may think. She isn’t interested in change, and I’m not interested in staying the same. I have big dreams and lofty pursuits, while she just wants her feet rubbed.
 
K

Kim82

Guest
It’s not as simple as you may think. She isn’t interested in change, and I’m not interested in staying the same. I have big dreams and lofty pursuits, while she just wants her feet rubbed.
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Nebuchadnezzer

Well-known member
Feb 8, 2019
1,028
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I don’t take it likely...if I did I would have left a long time ago. I’ve been unhappy for years. While I appreciate and respect your response this is far from me being selfish. My husband totally changed when we got married. We became friends/ roommates that’s it. I’ve begged him to go to counseling with me he refuses I’ve asked him to see a Dr he refuses. I wanted children badly and he knew this before we got married. I try to talk to him he won’t talk about it. While I don’t believe in divorce I don’t believe I should have to live this way either.
Doesn't scripture permit divorce if the spouse cannot or refuses to procreate?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
34,272
11,948
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Tennessee
I don’t take it likely...if I did I would have left a long time ago. I’ve been unhappy for years. While I appreciate and respect your response this is far from me being selfish. My husband totally changed when we got married. We became friends/ roommates that’s it. I’ve begged him to go to counseling with me he refuses I’ve asked him to see a Dr he refuses. I wanted children badly and he knew this before we got married. I try to talk to him he won’t talk about it. While I don’t believe in divorce I don’t believe I should have to live this way either.
Your marital situation is quite similar to the first marriage of my wife that ended years ago in divorce in late 70's. No, you don't have to spend your remaining good years being miserable and unappreciative. I don't believe that you are the least bit selfish. If I were in your situation I know what I would do. I don't believe in divorce either but sometimes bad things happen in marriage that have to be addressed for sake of the one who is subjected abuse and mental anguish.
 
Jan 6, 2019
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I don’t take it likely...if I did I would have left a long time ago. I’ve been unhappy for years. While I appreciate and respect your response this is far from me being selfish. My husband totally changed when we got married. We became friends/ roommates that’s it. I’ve begged him to go to counseling with me he refuses I’ve asked him to see a Dr he refuses. I wanted children badly and he knew this before we got married. I try to talk to him he won’t talk about it. While I don’t believe in divorce I don’t believe I should have to live this way either.
MissingLove, my heart goes out to you. In alot of ways, I behaved similar to your husband. I would have to ask the question, is your husband "truly" saved? If not, then there's your answer. If he had a Salvation experience then you can infer that his relationship with Christ is nothing good now than what it used to be. These changes don't happen overnight either. I'm sure he showed signs of backsliding years ago?

My point is, your husband has either backslid or was never truly saved. I say to you don't stop praying for him. I know it's easy to give in and give up, but there's power in prayer. God says if we have faith as a mustard seed we can say to the mountain be moved and cast away (my emphasis). However, you shouldn't have to tolerate the emotional struggles you're in either. Do you have a very close friend who's a girl to talk to? If not, I'd suggest you or even both of you and your husband attend a marriage group in church for couples undergoing problems in marriage. These groups provide spiritual support and healing, which I know you need right now.

I am truly sorry from the depths of my heart and will lift you and your husband in prayer.
 

kaylagrl

Senior Member
Oct 18, 2014
16,570
4,249
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Doesn't scripture permit divorce if the spouse cannot or refuses to procreate?

Sigh, why is everyone picking this poor woman to pieces. She's not talking divorce because he won't have children, that's one of several issues. She made clear she doesn't want to divorce and wants to do what is right. But if you have a partner that has emotionally abandoned you then you are in the marriage alone. If he changed his mind on children, which is far from fair to her,then he at least owes it to her to tell her and give his reasons why. It's not a small thing if you talked about children and agreed to having them then turn on your partner once you're married. She may not have chosen to marry him had she had that information. If it's her hearts desire to be a mother it's cruel for him to take that from her with no explanation. But she did not say that was the reason for considering divorce, she said that was one of the reasons.
 

kaylagrl

Senior Member
Oct 18, 2014
16,570
4,249
113
It’s not as simple as you may think. She isn’t interested in change, and I’m not interested in staying the same. I have big dreams and lofty pursuits, while she just wants her feet rubbed.

Different people have different needs. Especially between men and women.
 
Jan 6, 2019
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Thank you for your insight. I can only guess about my husbands salvation since it’s not my place to judge. I can say he says he is saved and he was not like any of this prior to marriage. I would not have married him had it been this way. I’m not perfect by any means and never have or will claim to be but the way I feel I have been abandoned I would never do.
Why do you feel your not allowed to question his Spiritual walk? You both are married. You are allowed and have that right. God says we are to judge rightly. According to His Word we can judge the motives and actions of that person.

According to your husband's behavior is not being the man of God he is suppose to be first and then the husband/Godhead to you. The ONLY way marriage will work is God has to be in the center of it.

Would your husband read books if you give him one? I'm reading Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. He talks about what a man's soul truly is in relation to Christ and he talks about a woman's soul too. It WILL help your husband understand you and even himself
 

SuZQ154

Junior Member
May 12, 2017
25
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Marriage is hard! Yet, in my opinion, divorce is harder. Nonetheless, I understand your anger, frustration, loneliness, and hopelessness when you feel you have done everything you know how to do to try to make your marriage work and your spouse is not doing his share. I am divorced because my first husband was unfaithful and he walked away; even though, I tried my best to "save" the marriage, he was not interested. After six years of grieving, which included counseling, looking at my own "stuff", and forgiving, I remarried a wonderful Christian widower and thought, "This time I will get it right!" SURPRISE! After ten years of marriage and more counseling:), we are still fighting the daily battle of putting each other before ourselves and trying to love each other well. It is a battle at times, but worth the fight! Please hang in there if possible...which I understand is NOT always possible. Wise Christian counseling, prayer, owning our own stuff, and trusting the Lord and the Holy Spirit are our best bets. Truly, I am praying for you to find answers for today and how to move forward. Blessings!
 

SIMON55

Active member
Feb 15, 2019
538
193
43
MO,OK,AR
Only the King Henry VIII version. ;)
LOL.....That might be the necessary case requirement for this one.....
I think even at my age I could procreate faster !!!😀
Maybe he would get busier if instead of singing....🎵🎼🎶🎤
" I'm Henry the Eigth I Am....
Eigth I Am....Eigth I Am 🎤🎶🎼🎵
To him she should sing🎤🎶🎼🎵 I'm Elena Bobbit the 2nd I Am....2nd I Am....2nd I Am.....🎤🎶🎼🎵
 

SIMON55

Active member
Feb 15, 2019
538
193
43
MO,OK,AR
I am so torn...I appreciate everyone’s input and prayers. I just want to do the right thing.
Ok.....missy you gave him the ultimatum at Christmas and it's Spring now.....so....what got done all cold winter?
.......You got that bun in the oven yet....?
.......U got to p or get off the pot are we coming to a baby shower or your husbands coming out of the closet party.....? 😀
 

SIMON55

Active member
Feb 15, 2019
538
193
43
MO,OK,AR
Only the King Henry VIII version. ;)
The very song I use to sing to my 2nd when she would start in on me.....🎤🎶🎼🎵.....I'm Henry the VIII I Am VIII I Am VIII I Am......🎤🎶🎼🎵
She would just get this confused look like she didn't get it......then I would bust out laughing.....😀
Apparently she didn't know history....!
 

SIMON55

Active member
Feb 15, 2019
538
193
43
MO,OK,AR
I am so torn...I appreciate everyone’s input and prayers. I just want to do the right thing.
Tick...Tock....Tick....Tock....
Tick....Tock.....Tick....Tock...
🕙 🕙 🕙 🕙 🕙 🕙 🕙 🕙
That's your Tick....Tock....
Missy.....you want it running out without a 👶 ⏰⏰⏰⏰🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼
Time.....to.....procreate!!!
⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰
👶 🍼⌚👶 🍼⌚👶 🍼⌚👶 🍼
😀Babies are wonderful miracles from God I love 👶 babies !!!!!😀
 

SIMON55

Active member
Feb 15, 2019
538
193
43
MO,OK,AR
The thing is,people seldom go back together after they separate. It's a pity her husband refuses to see what a wonderful,beautiful,faithful wife he has before him. And he's about to lose her. Such a pity, because he can avoid it,he holds the key.
That's certainly right Ollie and one mans junk is another mans treasure !!!!
Send all the beautiful women who want to make babies to King Solomon.....I mean SIMON55's house !!!
😀Babies 😀BAbies 😀Babies
Wonderful miracles from God!
👶 😀Babies are wonderful 😀
SIMON55....LOVES💖BABIES!!!