Are you really ready for marriage?

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May 26, 2016
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#21
Is it because they are happy marriages? Or because they are in a culture that pressures them to stay because leaving would have such a negative backlash? That's the thing most people who talk about arranged marriages forget. Many of the areas that still go with such practices also have very low views of women and their rights as humans.
I think it can work very well. If the parents are good and they themselves have a say, a marriage based on the brains and prayers of parents might work better than a bunch of hormones with pink glasses. If I ever marry again God may arrange it and if my parents say no it's no.
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#22
Is it because they are happy marriages? Or because they are in a culture that pressures them to stay because leaving would have such a negative backlash? That's the thing most people who talk about arranged marriages forget. Many of the areas that still go with such practices also have very low views of women and their rights as humans.
I don't know if they are happy marriages or not. They are more successful than ours. I would define success as not ending in divorce. Doesn't mean they are happy. I'm sure we all know unhappy people who are still married that chose it. I would even argue marriage doesn't imply happiness for either system.
 
May 26, 2016
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#23
I don't know if they are happy marriages or not. They are more successful than ours. I would define success as not ending in divorce. Doesn't mean they are happy. I'm sure we all know unhappy people who are still married that chose it. I would even argue marriage doesn't imply happiness for either system.
I know so many happy couples who simply used their brains and the only time that love is an easy game is when two of the people are playing.
 

garet82

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2011
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#24
Good question :)
Well i let it flow n see what will be happen. Ready or not, all depend on emotional n phisics readiness.
Its not only can be answer by words but from heart and mind so readiness is shown by the action not only by sentences.
 
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InspiringThroughChrist

Guest
#25
Thanks so much for all of your comments! I see that some people don't believe that you actually have to prepare for marriage. I would have to disagree. The same way you prepare before you take a test is the same way that you should prepare for one of the greatest life changing decisions of your life. I think that's the problem a lot of the times. We go into something not prepared or ready but then we wonder why it fails. One of the ways that I'm preparing is by allowing God to heal me completely and make me completely WHOLE before sending the one to find me. A lot of people say that it's two halves coming together to make a whole but I believe it should be two WHOLE people coming together. How can I be of any help to my man of God if I don't even know who I am? For me, it starts with HEALING and DELIVERANCE!
Tiarra La'Sha
author-blog
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
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#26
I honestly doubt anyone sane thinks they're ready for marriage in all its facets. If they think they know all about t already then that is the biggest sign of how unready they are. I would hope that I was ready to jump into this unknown with my husband, hopefully Blain.
 
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jb1616

Guest
#27
Hmm........ seems to me, if everybody waited until they were ready for marriage, very few people would get married.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
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#28
Being ready for marriage is absolutely vital even if it means very few would get married if we are rash and jump into it without being prepared for it well... why do you think divorce is so common among marriages? I would consider the reason for getting married, yes the main reason is because you love them but how far will you go for them?

When you are getting married the vows are normally this - I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded(husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. everyone says these vows but the vows don't always stick do they? When people say these vows at their weddings I don't think they really understand what they are promising I mean marriage is a sacred ceremony in which two people who are deeply in love become on being in mind heart and soul it isn't to be taken lightly and when you make these vows you need to say them as if they are written in stone you have to be prepared to hold to these vows even through the harshest of hell even if you have to end up taking care of the person like a small child who cannot get out of bed because in sickness and in health sometimes unforeseen things happen and may make the spouse unable to even move out bed.

When you get married are you prepared to go that far for them? are you prepared to have take care of them like that or have to deal with severe illness and having the bills rise insanely for medication to keep your spouse alive? are you prepared to see the darkest side of them even if you don't think such a darkness exists in them are you prepared to go through stress anger and the harshness and unfairness life deals us and love them just as much as you did at your wedding?

If and when Steph and I get married when I see her in that gown although that is already how I see her I have no doubt life will be harsh and I am prepared to deal with all of this and more it may not happen things may never get that bad but I am prepared to go that far and to deal with all of this and yet I will still only see her as I saw her in her wedding gown.
True love is blind to any physical features and true love is able to see the darkest side of the person yet still love them the same if not more true love will go through ninth circle of hell for the one they love.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
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#29
I honestly doubt anyone sane thinks they're ready for marriage in all its facets. If they think they know all about t already then that is the biggest sign of how unready they are. I would hope that I was ready to jump into this unknown with my husband, hopefully Blain.
The uncertainty and the worry of the unknown is natural it's human but that doesn't mean you aren't ready for marriage I bet if on our wedding day you see me as you walk up there you will feel both uncertainty yet excitement you will say to yourself I can't believe this is really happening you will say to yourself how we will have a life together and knowing you you will probably check to make sure your hair looks perfect and your gown is great and you will probably wonder if you will be a good enough wife and maybe(hopefully ;b) you will stumble little and while you feel embarrassed and even fell bad about it my heart will leap inside me because of how adorable your clumsiness is.

But even with all this when you and I make those vows and kiss all those worries and fears will disappear and you will know you made the right choice.
 
May 26, 2016
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#30
Thanks so much for all of your comments! I see that some people don't believe that you actually have to prepare for marriage. I would have to disagree. The same way you prepare before you take a test is the same way that you should prepare for one of the greatest life changing decisions of your life. I think that's the problem a lot of the times. We go into something not prepared or ready but then we wonder why it fails. One of the ways that I'm preparing is by allowing God to heal me completely and make me completely WHOLE before sending the one to find me. A lot of people say that it's two halves coming together to make a whole but I believe it should be two WHOLE people coming together. How can I be of any help to my man of God if I don't even know who I am? For me, it starts with HEALING and DELIVERANCE!
Tiarra La'Sha
author-blog
Then I could have waited until I was 46 and it would have been too late to get kids. Of course it's the easiest if both are completely healed up, I would never do it again if there was any form of disagreements. Still I'm glad I simply listened to God and didn't read red flag lists.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#31
Pipp said:
I don't know all the answers , but I do know a selfish person is not ready for marriage.
You are pretty selfish, so no marriage for you!!
Completely uncalled for. No need to try like that. Sometimes people don't see us the way other people see us or the way we see ourselves.

Ever been overjoyed to have just a tiny taste of spring water brought down to the garage from the kitchen because someone cared enough to bring it to you, waiting by the door without fail even though you were on edge at the time to the point you were near hysterical?

Selfish? Hm.
He called her selfish and she said that was mean and you're actually bashing her for calling that mean? Really??

really-300x225.jpeg
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#32
I think it can work very well. If the parents are good and they themselves have a say, a marriage based on the brains and prayers of parents might work better than a bunch of hormones with pink glasses. If I ever marry again God may arrange it and if my parents say no it's no.
Hormones with pink glasses? Hmm.
And i'm not saying it Can't work. My point was that so often people point to that as evidence of how much better it is, but they ignore the cultural attitudes towards marriage as well.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#33
Marriage is the ultimate test of the heart. Its a divine conspiracy designed by God. A design that will teach people to love unconditionally.

Some say marriage is easy like a walk in the park. But the park is jurassic park. Its a jungle out there. Lol!
Sometimes it seems like the Lost World as well. :)
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#34
I don't know if they are happy marriages or not. They are more successful than ours. I would define success as not ending in divorce. Doesn't mean they are happy. I'm sure we all know unhappy people who are still married that chose it. I would even argue marriage doesn't imply happiness for either system.
So a successful marriage is one where, even if the people hate each other, they stay married? I don't see success in two people forced into a situation neither are happy in. And that perhaps neither Wanted to be in to begin with. I would find that a failure on the part of the culture that forced people into marriage that didn't want it. That's more like disgruntled roommates who have to live together because neither can afford to move than a successful marriage.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
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#35
You are pretty selfish, so no marriage for you!!
Completely uncalled for. No need to try like that. Sometimes people don't see us the way other people see us or the way we see ourselves.

Ever been overjoyed to have just a tiny taste of spring water brought down to the garage from the kitchen because someone cared enough to bring it to you, waiting by the door without fail even though you were on edge at the time to the point you were near hysterical?

Selfish? Hm.
Okay...I realize now that maybe you simply clicked on the wrong "reply with quote" button.... if that's the case, then sorry. It's just that Pipp is my friend so I had to speak up u know..
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#36
I have considered a lot about marriage, all to often I see people go into marriage all lovey dovey they thing to each other how great life is going to be they don't consider at all the hard times that will come and how they will cope with it. They say the vows but i wonder how many truly consider the vows they say? divorce is so common these days people get married they enjoy the honey moon phase but when life and times get hard the marriage crumbles.

People expect to go into marriage with no fights no struggles never seeing the darkest side of the other and so when all this happens it falls to pieces. I have never been married but I learned what marriage is and how to be a good husband by seeing what not to do Stephanie is the only person I have ever considered marrying I often times imagine a life together with her and even having a family and when and if we get married both my adopted moms psychomom now known as notmyown and Jesus lives better be there or they are grounded:b But if I make those vows I am going to keep them I will stay with her through the good and the bad times and when things are at their worst and if we get into a heated war with each other you bet your buns tjhat our love will prevail.

Our bond may bend but it won't break firstly because God is and will be the foundation of our love second because marriage is far to sacred in my eyes to treat it anything less than what it is. Love true love will go through the harshest storms and come out even if only barely if you love someone enough there are no limits you won't go for them there is no hell you won't put up with, so if anyone plans on getting married consider all this
If you do get married I'm sure that JesusLives would love to be there and I would too. We would both consider it an honor.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
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#37
I don't know all the answers , but I do know a selfish person is not ready for marriage.
I agree, but getting married is an effective way to discover just how selfish we are. Prior to, most of us are self-deceived. :)
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
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#38
If you do get married I'm sure that JesusLives would love to be there and I would too. We would both consider it an honor.
Jerry if you didn't come and mom did it just wouldn't be right but trust me you guys being there you two who were always there for me you two who are like the parents I only wished I had I would be the one who is honored.
 
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JustWhoIAm

Guest
#40
Okay...I realize now that maybe you simply clicked on the wrong "reply with quote" button.... if that's the case, then sorry. It's just that Pipp is my friend so I had to speak up u know..
Now we're getting somewhere!