Judgemental Christians

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MegMarch

Guest
#41
You sound like a caring person and they probably mean no harm or realize you're growing up in Jesus ..
Thank you so much! I appreciate that.
 
Feb 28, 2016
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#43
amazing how 'un-kind' some can be -
EPH. 4:32.
And be you kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.

when one is in 'bondage' to a 'lust of the flesh', they will always quickly point out parallel faults in 'others' -
introspection is always 'lacking' while in the bondage of 'fleshly desires', such as;
surfeiting in fleshly desires and feeding of the flesh, in any shape or form::
whether gluttony, or wine bibbing, or sexual lust, imaginations, or a prescribed induced drug reality... -
been there, worn that T-Shirt,
and so,
we are here to share/warn,
'keep yourselves in check, else you will succumb to the dark-powers that be, right now, right here,
for, 'how you shall judge one, you also shall be judged'...
 
Jun 12, 2020
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#44
I wouldn't trust a leader who does not think any 40 year old single saint could be strong in that area and not on the brink of sinning. It would make me wonder if that leader has ever experienced total self control and victory over that before they got married? If they are still in bondage to the same sin but think that marriage gave them permission to keep it?
Those leaders were married. If they had reservations all they had to do was ask me questions but I think they had already made up their minds.
 
May 25, 2015
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#45
You know, I didn’t ever realize that people actually did this. I figured a person was speaking with a single person and then setting up a date in person (to determine compatibility). Not that the person was speaking with multiple people at once determining which of these people they’d like to go on a date with. 😄

Bobby: So, hows it going?
China: Good, didn’t really like Bob too much.
Bobby: Oh no? Well India isn’t as nice as you.
China: Oh thanks, Rick though he’s gunning for your spot.
Bobby: Yeah, Katy could beat you any day now.

😂
Yep, a lot of people do it.

And, hi, friend. It's been way too long. :D Still causing trouble? ;)
 
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Reformyourself

Guest
#47
I’ve been a Christian now for about 7 years, and I’m finally encountering what I will call the wall of judgement from my Christian friends. It is not only in the area of dating, although this seems to be the topic that they care about the the most, but also in other areas like how often I read my Bible, or if I am serving others enough, or if I endure trials with joy because that is godly.

But I will focus on the area of dating. It is disheartening to me, and I don’t feel like I can date unless it is according to their standards. To clarify, we all agree on the Biblical stance regarding fornication. I’m referring to all the additional expectations they have.

For example:
-Online dating isn’t good.
-Don’t spend too much time taking to the other person because that means they are becoming your god.
-They aren’t good enough because they aren’t a “strong” Christian.
-Wait a certain amount of time between dating people.

My main question is this-how do you all deal with the way other Christians pressurize the dating environment?
Wish i’d been a Christian at your age 😟
 
R

Reformyourself

Guest
#49
can of worms, just wish I had been ‘if I knew then, what I know now’
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
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#52
It's been going! Finally done with my bachelor's and waiting to see if I need to student teach!
Congratulations! 🎉 👏

I’m right now, kinda, writing a book (figuring it out haha). Also I am growing in... becoming an artist. Learning the guitar and writing songs that come to me (and singing). I was recently (and still am) working with a music company and basically doing design work for him (made him a logo) and social media related things (came up with social media postings and art with weekly messages).

He teaches people instruments, but now is venturing off into also teaching people about masterminds (teaching your personal specialties/story to people who want to hear it at a price in an online setting or seminar setting).

It’s been interesting, seeing God’s faithfulness and providence.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#53
I’ve been a Christian now for about 7 years, and I’m finally encountering what I will call the wall of judgement from my Christian friends. It is not only in the area of dating, although this seems to be the topic that they care about the the most, but also in other areas like how often I read my Bible, or if I am serving others enough, or if I endure trials with joy because that is godly.

But I will focus on the area of dating. It is disheartening to me, and I don’t feel like I can date unless it is according to their standards. To clarify, we all agree on the Biblical stance regarding fornication. I’m referring to all the additional expectations they have.

For example:
-Online dating isn’t good.
-Don’t spend too much time taking to the other person because that means they are becoming your god.
-They aren’t good enough because they aren’t a “strong” Christian.
-Wait a certain amount of time between dating people.

My main question is this-how do you all deal with the way other Christians pressurize the dating environment?
Only you should decide what's best for you. All that stuff is really none of their beeswax. (y)



 
Jun 6, 2020
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#55
I’ve been a Christian now for about 7 years, and I’m finally encountering what I will call the wall of judgement from my Christian friends. It is not only in the area of dating, although this seems to be the topic that they care about the the most, but also in other areas like how often I read my Bible, or if I am serving others enough, or if I endure trials with joy because that is godly.

But I will focus on the area of dating. It is disheartening to me, and I don’t feel like I can date unless it is according to their standards. To clarify, we all agree on the Biblical stance regarding fornication. I’m referring to all the additional expectations they have.

For example:
-Online dating isn’t good.
-Don’t spend too much time taking to the other person because that means they are becoming your god.
-They aren’t good enough because they aren’t a “strong” Christian.
-Wait a certain amount of time between dating people.

My main question is this-how do you all deal with the way other Christians pressurize the dating environment?
Hi, MegMarch. 🙂 Today I had one of the biggest revelations, it appears, of my life. I simply must confess here that I have had a history of being one of those judgemental, legalistic Christians you speak of. It may be a little off topic, but I write this publicly to thank God for answering me when I was in a place of utter confusion and despair. Whoever reads this, please do thank God with me for opening my eyes to His TRUTH!

Through a relatively long series of events God has shown me that I have had a tendency to dwell on His wrath against sin more intensely than His love and grace. John 12:47b was one thing He used to get His message across to my apparently slow-learning, stubborn heart- "For I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world." Also, @seoulsearch and @SoulWeaver wrote great posts on another thread that also helped to open my eyes. Thank you both. We never know how many people our posts on CC reach and effect- for good or for bad. I am very grateful for all of the posts on CC that God uses for good:
https://christianchat.com/bookmarks/confirm?content_type=post&content_id=4282660

https://christianchat.com/bookmarks/confirm?content_type=post&content_id=4282662

Romans 14 is the passage that held my answer for today. I realized that I have had WEAK faith-- my conscience has accused me over and over again about different things and I thought it was God! Now I can echo Romans 14:22b, "Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves." Now, sin is still sin, and we do have a responsibility to turn from it. But God is SO gracious!

Honestly and sincerely I write to you: by my trying ever-so-diligently to follow God's instructions in the Bible, and what I thought He was telling me through "signs" of circumstances, and by following my conscience, I thought I was loving Him and actually having strong faith. I thought I could trust my conscience. But, really, our conscience can be weak and misguide us. We MUST depend on the written, living, breathing, Word of God.

From your original post @MegMarch "Don’t spend too much time talking to the other person because that means they are becoming your god." THIS was an accusation I believed and ended a relationship when I shouldn't have. Sometimes people can be so hard on themselves and think they are doing right. 😔

I may not be making much logical sense. I just post to try and give a little perspective from the harsh Christian type you speak of- not to justify. Their consciences may be weak like mine and be easily persuaded to condemn something that, in actuality, unbeknownst to them, God doesn't condemn. (Though there are things God does condemn- I am speaking more to those "gray areas," like for example online dating.) I hope someone benefits by this. But, again, please if you have read this, fellow Sisters and Brothers, celebrate, rejoice, and thank God with me that He gave me clarity in a moment when I needed it so badly. He is Good above all else! ❤️

I am sorry you are suffering from someone like me. Love to you, beloved Daughter of the King.
 
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Susanna

Guest
#57
Just to clarify.

Even though I don’t care about others opinions in certain areas of life, it doesn’t mean that I’m not judgmental myself.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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#59
yep they are not you and dont live your life so...how do they really know anything?
I would just keep away from busy bodies who got nothing better to do than judge on people.

I mean who really has time to keep track of what page you are up to in the Bible...if they are not holding a regular bible study, or organising a church singles meet up then its not any of their business is it.

one time I remember somehow being friends with a guy and I was a young christian and he was like a self confessed pastor type who seemed like he would dish advice to anyone but then he started judging me negatively on what kind of clothes I wore. I hadnt asked for his advice on clothing or anything. Then I thought hold on, God hasnt told me anything that he doesnt like me wearing such and such, plus, if this guy would put his money where his mouth is, he would give me clothes or money to buy new ones if he REALLY cared that I didnt have any suitable clothes!