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I was listening to a rather brilliant psychologist on youtube talking about how LOTR parallels how we should deal with life. Bilbo Baggins was living in comfort and safety when he was called to seek out the great scary monster and achieve greatness by conquering it.... It parallels how we are afraid to leave the safety and comfort of our everyday lives and face the "monsters" that stand in the way of us becoming the greatest person we can be... Our monsters are usually fear of failure, fear of people, fear of embarassment, etc...
M
I’m sitting here in the dark, eating a Cow Tale, because I can’t think of anything more reasonable to be doing at this time of night. I have to be up at 5:30 in the morning because the world is cruel or else because God is funny and I probably should have been asleep three hours ago.
Also, I’ve just discovered I don’t particularly like Cow Tales.
I’ve been listening to Crowder’s “Come as You Are” for the last hour. A week ago, I didn’t even know who Crowder was, but thanks to my wishy-washy commitment to attending a women’s Bible study on Tuesdays, and the near-cosmic-accident that I was actually wide awake, showered, dressed, and ready to leave my house by 8:30 last Tuesday morning, I was treated to half an hour of that song on repeat while busily coloring a paper Christmas tree bright purple. The other ladies at my table got all the nice green pencils before I could. I should have anticipated this; however, my purple tree was quite as lovely as their forest, jungle, and pine green trees were...which ended up not mattering in the slightest, as our next instructions were to then use black marker to color big splotches over our carefully colored trees.
It’s a metaphor, see?
...no? That’s ok, I didn’t either, until the leader of the study turned off the beautiful song that was distracting me.
The trees- pre-splotchiness- were like our lives; carefully laid out, decorated. The decorations were all the “stuff” we each have in our lives; families, jobs, friends, status, relationships, church. And the black splotches were the burdens. The fear. The worry. The doubt. Sadness. Sickness. Loss. Anger. Guilt. Shame. Over each black splotch we colored, we were asked to write (in black pen so others couldn’t see it) something we’ve been carrying, something that’s been weighing on us.
The song was switched back on at this point, while we all scribbled away, and because it was a room full of women, there was a lot of crying involved in the process.
Or maybe that was just me.
I didn’t want to look at my ugly tree by the time it was finished, marred as it was by my own fear, shame, past, worry, and doubt. But then the group leader prayed, and a beautiful thing happened- I was reminded that God sees past all of our ugliness, that in Christ there is no shame, and that I am forgiven.
And I had once again, in just one short week, forgotten all of that. I got right back to work, hauling all these heavy weights around with me. Hence, the playing of the song over and over tonight. And the tears again, but that’s neither here nor there (ok, it IS here, but not THERE).
I really should have have gone to Bible study this morning to do the second part of all that... huh.
Also, I’ve just discovered I don’t particularly like Cow Tales.
I’ve been listening to Crowder’s “Come as You Are” for the last hour. A week ago, I didn’t even know who Crowder was, but thanks to my wishy-washy commitment to attending a women’s Bible study on Tuesdays, and the near-cosmic-accident that I was actually wide awake, showered, dressed, and ready to leave my house by 8:30 last Tuesday morning, I was treated to half an hour of that song on repeat while busily coloring a paper Christmas tree bright purple. The other ladies at my table got all the nice green pencils before I could. I should have anticipated this; however, my purple tree was quite as lovely as their forest, jungle, and pine green trees were...which ended up not mattering in the slightest, as our next instructions were to then use black marker to color big splotches over our carefully colored trees.
It’s a metaphor, see?
...no? That’s ok, I didn’t either, until the leader of the study turned off the beautiful song that was distracting me.
The trees- pre-splotchiness- were like our lives; carefully laid out, decorated. The decorations were all the “stuff” we each have in our lives; families, jobs, friends, status, relationships, church. And the black splotches were the burdens. The fear. The worry. The doubt. Sadness. Sickness. Loss. Anger. Guilt. Shame. Over each black splotch we colored, we were asked to write (in black pen so others couldn’t see it) something we’ve been carrying, something that’s been weighing on us.
The song was switched back on at this point, while we all scribbled away, and because it was a room full of women, there was a lot of crying involved in the process.
Or maybe that was just me.
I didn’t want to look at my ugly tree by the time it was finished, marred as it was by my own fear, shame, past, worry, and doubt. But then the group leader prayed, and a beautiful thing happened- I was reminded that God sees past all of our ugliness, that in Christ there is no shame, and that I am forgiven.
And I had once again, in just one short week, forgotten all of that. I got right back to work, hauling all these heavy weights around with me. Hence, the playing of the song over and over tonight. And the tears again, but that’s neither here nor there (ok, it IS here, but not THERE).
I really should have have gone to Bible study this morning to do the second part of all that... huh.
Yup. And you can get better crop yields if you let the land lie fallow once in a while... just like the Bible told us. Of course the Bible called it "let the land have its Sabbath" but eh, same thing. Amazing how experts keep rediscovering old things and heralding them as new discoveries. I could make a whole list of things scientists have "discovered" that have been in the Bible for millenniums, literal millenniums.
I used to use yahoo for my primary email account but last year there were a few weeks when yahoo mail simply did not work. I couldn't open anything no matter how I tried. Then I noticed that it was a time when yahoo was in negotiations to be bought-out by another company. I switched over to Outlook and haven't looked back.
M
Question of the day (at my house, anyway)-
Say someone, once upon a time, used to try to poison your pets, steal things from your yard, threw goats blood at you, and then proceeded to get right in your face and put a curse on you (some Wiccan deal, I don’t know)... and then, years later, this person found themselves starving and freezing. Do you have mercy on them, or let them live with the consequences of their actions from so long ago?
Also a good question- why is my tiny town so weird?
Say someone, once upon a time, used to try to poison your pets, steal things from your yard, threw goats blood at you, and then proceeded to get right in your face and put a curse on you (some Wiccan deal, I don’t know)... and then, years later, this person found themselves starving and freezing. Do you have mercy on them, or let them live with the consequences of their actions from so long ago?
Also a good question- why is my tiny town so weird?
Question of the day (at my house, anyway)-
Say someone, once upon a time, used to try to poison your pets, steal things from your yard, threw goats blood at you, and then proceeded to get right in your face and put a curse on you (some Wiccan deal, I don’t know)... and then, years later, this person found themselves starving and freezing. Do you have mercy on them, or let them live with the consequences of their actions from so long ago?
Also a good question- why is my tiny town so weird?
Say someone, once upon a time, used to try to poison your pets, steal things from your yard, threw goats blood at you, and then proceeded to get right in your face and put a curse on you (some Wiccan deal, I don’t know)... and then, years later, this person found themselves starving and freezing. Do you have mercy on them, or let them live with the consequences of their actions from so long ago?
Also a good question- why is my tiny town so weird?
And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
Question of the day (at my house, anyway)-
Say someone, once upon a time, used to try to poison your pets, steal things from your yard, threw goats blood at you, and then proceeded to get right in your face and put a curse on you (some Wiccan deal, I don’t know)... and then, years later, this person found themselves starving and freezing. Do you have mercy on them, or let them live with the consequences of their actions from so long ago?
Also a good question- why is my tiny town so weird?
Say someone, once upon a time, used to try to poison your pets, steal things from your yard, threw goats blood at you, and then proceeded to get right in your face and put a curse on you (some Wiccan deal, I don’t know)... and then, years later, this person found themselves starving and freezing. Do you have mercy on them, or let them live with the consequences of their actions from so long ago?
Also a good question- why is my tiny town so weird?
Weird is universal. I don't know of any town that doesn't have weird.
U
The issue isn't really forgiveness. We all know how important forgiveness is in many areas of our lives. I think the crux of her question is more aimed at whether or not to help someone that you have forgiven previously. Forgiving isn't forgetting or denying what was done wrong. Wisdom is also required to know when to forgive but also walk away.
I think I have a job offer. It is exactly what I asked God for last month.
But after hearing what my friends said against it, I started having second thoughts.
I went to the interview, found that the manager (one who I will be working for, she did the interview, not the HR) is a Christian. She went to visit my blog and she said I was very blessed. She seems really nice and understood my need for a flexible schedule because I'm studying part time. She also knew my passion is with software development and offered me some things I can work on if I ever take the job.
And, the office is just a couple of blocks away from my current one, which is half an hour walk from my place. So that's cool.
And, the people I'll be working with, are my current company's clients so I know and have worked with some of them.
There are a few cons that I don't care to write down anymore. It is exactly what I asked God for. The exact company, the exact conditions and exact offer.
I should be happy but I really don't know what to feel. It's a mix of being in awe, doubtful if it will all work out for my studying, very grateful, worried if there's a better offer out there and that this is just a distraction from what's really the best for me, amazed at how miraculous this is.
Ugh, sometimes I hate being human.
I guess I'll just have to get over it and thank Jesus for His amazing favour. Whether or not this is His plan, I'll find out soon so there's really no need to worry.
Sorry, this is just me to talking to the other me. Carry on.
But after hearing what my friends said against it, I started having second thoughts.
I went to the interview, found that the manager (one who I will be working for, she did the interview, not the HR) is a Christian. She went to visit my blog and she said I was very blessed. She seems really nice and understood my need for a flexible schedule because I'm studying part time. She also knew my passion is with software development and offered me some things I can work on if I ever take the job.
And, the office is just a couple of blocks away from my current one, which is half an hour walk from my place. So that's cool.
And, the people I'll be working with, are my current company's clients so I know and have worked with some of them.
There are a few cons that I don't care to write down anymore. It is exactly what I asked God for. The exact company, the exact conditions and exact offer.
I should be happy but I really don't know what to feel. It's a mix of being in awe, doubtful if it will all work out for my studying, very grateful, worried if there's a better offer out there and that this is just a distraction from what's really the best for me, amazed at how miraculous this is.
Ugh, sometimes I hate being human.
I guess I'll just have to get over it and thank Jesus for His amazing favour. Whether or not this is His plan, I'll find out soon so there's really no need to worry.
Sorry, this is just me to talking to the other me. Carry on.
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