...it’s amazing to me that this thread is still alive.
Disclaimer: I don’t know what I’m doing here or for how long I’ll be doing whatever it is that I don’t know about. When I left, there were good people here, and I missed the interaction. Turns out there are still some of them around...yay! I’m positive that I’m not here to upset anyone’s apple cart. Or watermelon wagon. Or turkey tractor. Whatever. Anyway.
I raise chickens now, it turns out. Kids and chickens and cats. And build things, because I have power tools and an annoying need to do all the things. I think I’ve learned more skills in the last two years than I did in the thirty years prior to that, yet somehow I’ve gotten worse at social skills. I can’t tame the awkward. Last week at church, we met with the pastor, a few elders, and a couple of other new members to have lunch and share our testimonies...I went into it having no idea what to say, and I came out of it having no idea what I said. And trembling. For an hour. The pastor’s sweet wife took pity on me and hugged me and even kissed the top of my head because...I assume...I was clearly terrified. However! Because I can’t just have a nice moment where someone shows they truly care without making everyone involved extremely uncomfortable...I was sweating profusely due to, you know, terror at speaking in front of humans. All my stress sweat comes off my head. In fact, I’m certain that my head is the source of all of my problems, and would dearly like to trade it in for a more functional model.
I attended a women’s conference at my church at couple months ago, before it was “my” church and before anyone knew me. I had my ticket to get in tucked safely into the front pocket of my purse, easily accessible. I waited in line a few minutes, and as my turn came up to give the lady my ticket, I reached to unzip the purse pocket...and came away holding not just the fancy zipper pull, but the whole zipper mechanism. Meanwhile, the pocket remained zipped tight. And so, like any sane person, I just stood there staring at the zipper in my hand and laughing, because I took a leap of faith and trusted God that I would survive attending this conference alone like some kind of actual adult, and then...awkwardness. I never leave home without it. The ticket ladies just stared at me, and I couldn’t open the pocket, and there were several women waiting behind me, and I very nearly turned around and ran out the door. But that would have been silly, so instead I stepped out of line and proceeded to wrestle with the purse pocket while people watched. I can’t take me anywhere.
...I dunno, that’s all I got.