Traditional Family: Husband works and Wife is a stay at home mom.

[Calmador]

Work at home moms and stay at home moms are two different people. (I'm not saying SAHMs aren't working. Please see my other posts for clarification.)

I'll try to make a line...

I think there's a big difference between a woman who focuses on her career and forgets her family. She doesn't cook or do laundry.. she doesn't look after her family's needs when it comes to clothing, health and perhaps even income if she doesn't spend her earned money from her career on her family.

Contrast with a mom who would do all those little things for her family...cooks, cleans, nurtures, nurses, clothes her family and even works part-time to help her family financially.

I'd stand on my head for a woman like that... my mom was like that and it really showed that she cared. I think Love is clearly expressed in things like that... a mom helping her children put on clothing, spoon feeding them, cooking for them, cleaning, disciplining them, playing with them... giving them showers, hugging them... wow

Hell, just thinking about it... Mom, has a more important role in parenting. And looking at scripture, the stay at home mom fits the shoes of the proverbs 31 woman.

 

[Misty77]

Thanks for the info, are you mentioning this just to clarify things or is there something I missed?

Just some handy dandy information.

 

[kayem77]

I want to be a stay at home mom at least for the first years of my children, but it would be hard to tell if I'll stay at home when they grow up. I don't know if we're gonna homeschool or not. Personally, the concept of homeschooling is kinda new to me (there's no such thing in Mexico), but who knows? I could be open to it if that's the best decision.

I would definitely want to have time for my children and husband, and would make that a priority, but if it's possible, I would like to be involved in other activities...maybe volunteering somewhere or working somewhere, depending on our income. So it really depends on the circumstances. I have no care about what is ''traditional''. I think the Biblical principle is that women care about their children and husbands, and as long as I am able to do that, I can consider doing other things also. Being a stay at home wife with no children would be pretty boring...seriously, how many times can you clean a house? what would I do all day ? With children that's a whole other story....my point is that you don't have to stay at home to be Biblical. As long as you can give your children and husband their proper attention, it's all good. That's how I see it.

Also, just because a woman works it doesn't mean that she isn't submitting to her husband. Submission is not about income. I could be making more than my husband and I would still see him as the head of the household. I think that as mature adults we can learn to respect and love one another beyond any financial capabilities we have.

 

[Nautilus]

Can you elaborate a bit? I can't wrap my brain around what you are saying here.

Im looking for a marriage partnership. One where both contribute equally. I mean my parents both worked and I was fine. I just don't see why in this day and age a couple would choose to handicap their family with one income, unless that one person was bringing in insane amounts of cash. I mean my parents roughly made 400,000+ and then 54,000 a year. Did we need that second income? Probably not, did it make life better having it? Yes it did. Why not both work and provide the best possible for your children?

 

[Tintin]

Wowsers! $400,000+ and another $54,000 a year? What kind of job did your parents have?!

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Im looking for a marriage partnership. One where both contribute equally. I mean my parents both worked and I was fine. I just don't see why in this day and age a couple would choose to handicap their family with one income, unless that one person was bringing in insane amounts of cash. I mean my parents roughly made 400,000+ and then 54,000 a year. Did we need that second income? Probably not, did it make life better having it? Yes it did. Why not both work and provide the best possible for your children?

I'm sad that you feel this way... And I hope you'll feel a bit different if you ever have children of your own. Children are so precious... and being there for their formative years is absolutely priceless. Daycare is no substitute for a loving parent who teaches them to walk, hears their first words, plays with them in the yard, cuddles them in bed in the morning, talks with them day and night about the Lord.

Living on one income is not a handicap. There are many blessings (and faith being built) in the act of scraping by and sacrificing so that children have their mother at home to love and care for them during the day. "Providing the best possible for your children" has nothing at all to do with money, and everything to do with your attention and care as a parent.

I've never heard anyone say that they sure wished their parents had been gone more when they were kids. And I can't imagine standing before God at the end of time, and having him say that we were okay parents but we should have devoted ourselves more to the earning of money and not been so focused on our children. We will have to account for many things at the end of days, and one of those things is how we spend our time on earth. Just something to think about.

(All the usual disclaimers about single parents who must work are implied, of course.)

 

[Blain]

If I ever have kids I want a little girl, and NO boy is to go near her

 

[1still_waters]

Children are no longer blessings from God, they're options you can choose.

Women/wives are told to drug their body so they won't have kids. That way they won't get in the way of "having it all".

Then after the women/wives have achieved it all, and once their body is past the best age for having children, then they must drug their body so they're able to have kids.

 

[Blain]

Children are no longer blessings from God, they're options you can choose.

Women/wives are told to drug their body so they won't have kids. That way they won't get in the way of "having it all".

Then after the women/wives have achieved it all, and once their body is past the best age for having children, then they must drug their body so they're able to have kids.

Oh no they are still blessings from God, it's just people who have changed their views of them.

 

[Nautilus]

I'm sad that you feel this way... And I hope you'll feel a bit different if you ever have children of your own. Children are so precious... and being there for their formative years is absolutely priceless. Daycare is no substitute for a loving parent who teaches them to walk, hears their first words, plays with them in the yard, cuddles them in bed in the morning, talks with them day and night about the Lord.

Living on one income is not a handicap. There are many blessings (and faith being built) in the act of scraping by and sacrificing so that children have their mother at home to love and care for them during the day. "Providing the best possible for your children" has nothing at all to do with money, and everything to do with your attention and care as a parent.

I've never heard anyone say that they sure wished their parents had been gone more when they were kids. And I can't imagine standing before God at the end of time, and having him say that we were okay parents but we should have devoted ourselves more to the earning of money and not been so focused on our children. We will have to account for many things at the end of days, and one of those things is how we spend our time on earth. Just something to think about.

(All the usual disclaimers about single parents who must work are implied, of course.)

I mean my mom stayed home til I was in third grade and my sister in first but then she went back to teaching, of course it was at the school we attended. But I never wanted for anything including attention from my parents(my mom taught at our school and my dad coached all ym sports teams growing up). Our school days as students and teachers ended at the same time.

Tintin: My mom was a teacher with a master's degree and many years of experience. My father is a senior vice president for Wells Fargo.

 

[Tintin]

I mean my mom stayed home til I was in third grade and my sister in first but then she went back to teaching, of course it was at the school we attended. But I never wanted for anything including attention from my parents(my mom taught at our school and my dad coached all ym sports teams growing up). Our school days as students and teachers ended at the same time.

Tintin: My mom was a teacher with a master's degree and many years of experience. My father is a senior vice president for Wells Fargo.

Cheers. So, that wasn't a typo? You didn't mean to say $40,000 a year?

 

[woka]

I have been a homeschooling mom, and a wife to my man for many year's. He worked from home so it was wonderful that we as the family were together everyday and still each had our own space. I appreciate so much that the Lord and my husband afforded me the opportunity to live this life. It has allowed for me to really bond and understand my children on a level I really needed to get them on as life presented us with lots of challenges.

My hubby was surrounded by his family which he sees as the perfect love, and this allowed him to grow as a person, and when the wheels fell off the bus a few times, we were able to pick him and ourselves up and start again. I shudder to think what the outcome would of been had we as a family had to face these challenges with me at a job, and the kids at a school. I think we would of all been so busy in our world we would not of even noticed, until it was to late.

There is a season for everything so the one kid works, the other kid is know attending school, I am going to work overseas for a few months, and hubby is left to sort out the sale of our house etc. Opportunity change, and situation change we however always fit the role the Lord has called us to, and in that is absolute freedom.

 

[Nautilus]

Cheers. So, that wasn't a typo? You didn't mean to say $40,000 a year?

it was 48000 in 97-98 i think im assuming she received raises over the past 16 years

 

[Fenner]

The original question, do you want a traditional family? I stay home because my Husband makes more money, I work part time now that my kids are in school, I am not a third child as one poster stated. Have you ever priced out day care? My whole check would have gone to day care, so why do that??? Everyone has a different story, situation, etc.


It just depends on the situation you're in when you have kids, but yeah I always wanted to stay home with my children.

 

[seoulsearch]

Im looking for a marriage partnership. One where both contribute equally. I mean my parents both worked and I was fine. I just don't see why in this day and age a couple would choose to handicap their family with one income, unless that one person was bringing in insane amounts of cash. I mean my parents roughly made 400,000+ and then 54,000 a year. Did we need that second income? Probably not, did it make life better having it? Yes it did. Why not both work and provide the best possible for your children?

Nautilus,

I can completely understand your view and wish you the best. But money does not necessarily mean the best for anyone.

It's funny how in God's economy, human mathematics does not always add up.

I knew a girl who was making over $100,000 a year but couldn't pay her bills. She had chosen a career path that went against her beliefs and she said it's funny how God works because she was better off before she came into wealth.

My Dad started his career as a bagger in a grocery store at age 15. He started out going to college, but dropped out to keep working. He did the jobs no one else wanted to do and stayed for the hours no one wanted to work. Over many years, his diligence was noticed... both by man... and by God.

My Mom quit working when they had kids. My parents raised three children on one very modest income, AND sent us to Christian schools, which was extremely expensive. Church was a must in our household. Even when we were old enough to work ourselves (for me, that was age 11), we were expected to make sure we somehow made it to church.

God blessed my parents for their faithfulness. They saved every penny they made, and over the years, it added up. Now my parents teach Dave Ramsey's financial peace classes, and they never charge a thing for their work because they love it and want to serve God and others. My Dad was able to retire at 55--long before the doctors, dentists, and lawyers whom we knew (having a grocery store... you meet a lot of people) who were his age and older. They are now able to travel, participate in volunteer work, and do whatever they choose to do in a day.

Now sure, some kids made fun of my Kmart and JCPenney clothes, but it's funny how over time, God's economy worked out. My Dad had health insurance for all of us, so my parents made sure we went to doctors and dentists regularly. My Mom had a lot of things going on so I wasn't doted on at all as a child, but it taught me independence. And, by the way, I still wear JCPenney clothes.

But having parents who taught me Christian principles without compromise?

How can one possibly put a price on that?

I believe God has different plans for different families, whether both parents are working or not.

A couple might make the most money and be able to buy their kids the best of the best, and that's fine if that's God's plan.

For my family, God gave us one breadwinner and two very dedicated hearts. What did that equal?

The proud daughter of a one-income family who, as a grown adult, definitely does not feel deprived. In fact, I feel unique, because I know my situation was very atypical in today's world. NOT that our family was better in ANY way... it's just that God had a different plan for us, and maybe one to help encourage other families who want to do the same. (But Fenner is right on--for many, childcare would cost the entire second income anyway. I have friends who have run into this and decided they'd rather raise their own children instead, but each family is unique and no single answer fits everyone.)

Remember too that Jesus said that the widow who gave two small copper coins gave more than all the wealthy people put together... and when Elijah was sent to a widow and her son, her oil and flour never ran out, though it had to provide for 3 people.

Never underestimate God's economy!

 

[Pipp]

Nautilus,

I can completely understand your view and wish you the best. But money does not necessarily mean the best for anyone.

It's funny how in God's economy, human mathematics does not always add up.

I knew a girl who was making over $100,000 a year but couldn't pay her bills. She had chosen a career path that went against her beliefs and she said it's funny how God works because she was better off before she came into wealth.

My Dad started his career as a bagger in a grocery store at age 15. He started out going to college, but dropped out to keep working. He did the jobs no one else wanted to do and stayed for the hours no one wanted to work. Over many years, his diligence was noticed... both by man... and by God.

My Mom quit working when they had kids. My parents raised three children on one very modest income, AND sent us to Christian schools, which was extremely expensive. Church was a must in our household. Even when we were old enough to work ourselves (for me, that was age 11), we were expected to make sure we somehow made it to church.

God blessed my parents for their faithfulness. They saved every penny they made, and over the years, it added up. Now my parents teach Dave Ramsey's financial peace classes, and they never charge a thing for their work because they love it and want to serve God and others. My Dad was able to retire at 55--long before the doctors, dentists, and lawyers whom we knew (having a grocery store... you meet a lot of people) who were his age and older. They are now able to travel, participate in volunteer work, and do whatever they choose to do in a day.

Now sure, some kids made fun of my Kmart and JCPenney clothes, but it's funny how over time, God's economy worked out. My Dad had health insurance for all of us, so my parents made sure we went to doctors and dentists regularly. My Mom had a lot of things going on so I wasn't doted on at all as a child, but it taught me independence. And, by the way, I still wear JCPenney clothes.

But having parents who taught me Christian principles without compromise?

How can one possibly put a price on that?

I believe God has different plans for different families, whether both parents are working or not.

A couple might make the most money and be able to buy their kids the best of the best, and that's fine if that's God's plan.

For my family, God gave us one breadwinner and two very dedicated hearts. What did that equal?

The proud daughter of a one-income family who, as a grown adult, definitely does not feel deprived. In fact, I feel unique, because I know my situation was very atypical in today's world. NOT that our family was better in ANY way... it's just that God had a different plan for us, and maybe one to help encourage other families who want to do the same. (But Fenner is right on--for many, childcare would cost the entire second income anyway. I have friends who have run into this and decided they'd rather raise their own children instead, but each family is unique and no single answer fits everyone.)

Remember too that Jesus said that the widow who gave two small copper coins gave more than all the wealthy people put together... and when Elijah was sent to a widow and her son, her oil and flour never ran out, though it had to provide for 3 people.

Never underestimate God's economy!

Love your story.. thank you for sharing. You brought out such good points and did it beautifully.

 

[Fenner]

Nautilus,

I can completely understand your view and wish you the best. But money does not necessarily mean the best for anyone.

It's funny how in God's economy, human mathematics does not always add up.

I knew a girl who was making over $100,000 a year but couldn't pay her bills. She had chosen a career path that went against her beliefs and she said it's funny how God works because she was better off before she came into wealth.

My Dad started his career as a bagger in a grocery store at age 15. He started out going to college, but dropped out to keep working. He did the jobs no one else wanted to do and stayed for the hours no one wanted to work. Over many years, his diligence was noticed... both by man... and by God.

My Mom quit working when they had kids. My parents raised three children on one very modest income, AND sent us to Christian schools, which was extremely expensive. Church was a must in our household. Even when we were old enough to work ourselves (for me, that was age 11), we were expected to make sure we somehow made it to church.

God blessed my parents for their faithfulness. They saved every penny they made, and over the years, it added up. Now my parents teach Dave Ramsey's financial peace classes, and they never charge a thing for their work because they love it and want to serve God and others. My Dad was able to retire at 55--long before the doctors, dentists, and lawyers whom we knew (having a grocery store... you meet a lot of people) who were his age and older. They are now able to travel, participate in volunteer work, and do whatever they choose to do in a day.

Now sure, some kids made fun of my Kmart and JCPenney clothes, but it's funny how over time, God's economy worked out. My Dad had health insurance for all of us, so my parents made sure we went to doctors and dentists regularly. My Mom had a lot of things going on so I wasn't doted on at all as a child, but it taught me independence. And, by the way, I still wear JCPenney clothes.

But having parents who taught me Christian principles without compromise?

How can one possibly put a price on that?

I believe God has different plans for different families, whether both parents are working or not.

A couple might make the most money and be able to buy their kids the best of the best, and that's fine if that's God's plan.

For my family, God gave us one breadwinner and two very dedicated hearts. What did that equal?

The proud daughter of a one-income family who, as a grown adult, definitely does not feel deprived. In fact, I feel unique, because I know my situation was very atypical in today's world. NOT that our family was better in ANY way... it's just that God had a different plan for us, and maybe one to help encourage other families who want to do the same. (But Fenner is right on--for many, childcare would cost the entire second income anyway. I have friends who have run into this and decided they'd rather raise their own children instead, but each family is unique and no single answer fits everyone.)

Remember too that Jesus said that the widow who gave two small copper coins gave more than all the wealthy people put together... and when Elijah was sent to a widow and her son, her oil and flour never ran out, though it had to provide for 3 people.

Never underestimate God's economy!

I had to wear my brothers Tuff Skins handy me downs. To this day I cringe when I see Tuff Skins pants at Sears.

 

[Fenner]

Money is a necessity, no one wants to struggle or be poor. I feel bad for the single parents or even not single parents who struggle and work. It's tough, but you do what you have to do and learn what you want isn't really what you need. I hope that makes sense.

 

[Kia123]

I dont think i will get a traditional family
Im not even sure id i would suit that, my mum raised me to be good at it.
haha i have a nickname of being a domestic goddess But i dont think i would make a good traditional wife, im not a tradiional person

 

[jimmydiggs]

If I was to have a family:

Homeschooled children is a must unless circumstance dictates otherwise

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Copy-pasta verse from following website because i didn't remember the reference number 20 Important Bible Verses for Parents]

Education is a responsibility put on parents, not the government. I also want to honor God with education, by teaching children to obey him not to teach them to obey worldly beliefs.

Stay at home mother

Titus 2

[SUP]3 [/SUP]Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. [SUP]4 [/SUP]Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,[SUP]5 [/SUP]to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God


Before/after children is possibly a different matter. There is a possibility I could take over a farm that would require a lot of labor, which would mean many tasks I would simply not be able to do. That would be a situation where it would be favorable even after children.

I would be saying yes to one woman, and no to the other 3 billion.

Ephesians 5
[SUP]21 [/SUP]Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
[SUP]22 [/SUP]Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. [SUP]23 [/SUP]For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. [SUP]24 [/SUP]Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
[SUP]25 [/SUP]Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her [SUP]26[/SUP]to make her holy, cleansing[SUP][b][/SUP] her by the washing with water through the word, [SUP]27 [/SUP]and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. [SUP]28 [/SUP]In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [SUP]29 [/SUP]After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— [SUP]30 [/SUP]for we are members of his body. [SUP]31 [/SUP]“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[SUP][c][/SUP] [SUP]32 [/SUP]This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. [SUP]33 [/SUP]However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Very brief synopsis. Certainly a lot more that would be relevant.