Unmarried and not happy about it

  • Thread starter Single-christian-mom
  • Start date
  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#41
Mar 13, 2014
42,373
16,867
113
69
Tennessee
#41
seoulsearch said:
Biscuit, I remember a post you wrote some time ago in which you said you can still easily attract the romantic attention of 20-something girls.

You have yet to post a photo of your age-defying physique and tips on staying so youthful.

We're all waiting for you to share your secrets. :)

P.S. Just for the record, I find the thought of any strip club, male, female, she-male, wanna-be-a-male, whatever... nauseating. Where will you find me on a Friday or Saturday night? Most often, curled up with a book or project at home.
Click to expand...
That sounds like a wonderful evening.
 
F

FireWire

Guest
#42
#42
Well a relationship is more than just sexuality. I was talking about the whole person. The warts and all kind of thing. Some women have that issue too. Let's not forget women are just as broken as men.
 
gypsygirl

gypsygirl

Senior Member
#43
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
60
48
#43
biscuit said:
:(

Good post and I agree with. The way you feel about porn addiction & casual sex is equivalent how I feel about overweight women and their needs to show an excess amount of cleavage.
Click to expand...
hmmmm. while, i'm probably not one to be as observant of cleavage as you probably are, i would sincerely doubt that any intention to display cleavage is more deliberate of the overweight, and possibly more related to physical limitations that seem inherent with being overweight.

when i see average-weighted women making the effort to show more, i see far more intention behind displaying their cleavage.

i have a few overweight girlfriends who happen to have large chests and they don't seem to "set out" to put anything on display as much as they're more limited in their clothing and how it 'wears' in general.

or maybe we should all be (only) wearing sports bras and hoodies, lest a brother's delicate eyes be offended.

because this is ALMOST the same thing as porn addiction and casual sex, right????
 
Last edited:
B

biscuit

Guest
#44
#44
Biscuit, I remember a post you wrote some time ago in which you said you can still easily attract the romantic attention of 20-something girls.

I'll put my right hand on a Bible & swear to it. I have always gotten those stares from women and if you ever meet my sister, she would acknowledge it. She asked me years ago if I was still getting those stares and I said yes. I'm not bragging just stating a fact.

You have yet to post a photo of your age-defying physique and tips on staying so youthful.

Photo?? I am not looking for anyone or seeking validation at 61 years of age.

We're all waiting for you to share your secrets. :)

No secrets! just God-given attributes

P.S. Just for the record, I find the thought of any strip club, male, female, she-male, wanna-be-a-male, whatever... nauseating. Where will you find me on a Friday or Saturday night? Most often, curled up with a book or project at home.

The same here! hoping to build a website, studying & researching the bible & biblical materials. I believe the rapture will be this decade and you will have a better choice of men in heaven than on earth to pick a husband. Personally, you have plenty of time to find a husband on the new earth also with your new glorified body. I stated recently that only 30% of today's men & women are fit to marry. It is that bad.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#45
May 23, 2009
16,213
5,186
113
#45
FireWire said:
Well a relationship is more than just sexuality. I was talking about the whole person. The warts and all kind of thing. Some women have that issue too. Let's not forget women are just as broken as men.
Click to expand...
Yup. That was exactly my point, FW. Your post was talking about how "the women expect this, the women demand that..." and I wrote my post as a reminder that both genders have a lot of work to do on their own characters.
 
F

FireWire

Guest
#46
#46
You're so confusing :p
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#47
May 23, 2009
16,213
5,186
113
#47
FireWire said:
You're so confusing :p
Click to expand...
Only if you're a Kiwi. :p

I guess my Kiwi-donian (or maybe Kiwi-dashian, in the spirit of American junk culture) is a little rusty. ;)
 
Last edited:
B

biscuit

Guest
#48
#48
gypsygirl said:
hmmmm. while, i'm probably not one to be as observant of cleavage as you probably are, i would sincerely doubt that any intention to display cleavage is more deliberate of the overweight, and possibly more related to physical limitations that seem inherent with being overweight.

when i see average-weighted women making the effort to show more, i see far more intention behind displaying their cleavage.

i have a few overweight girlfriends who happen to have large chests and they don't seem to "set out" to put anything on display as much as they're more limited in their clothing and how it 'wears' in general.

or maybe we should all be (only) wearing sports bras and hoodies, lest a brother's delicate eyes be offended.

because this is ALMOST the same thing as porn addiction and casual sex, right????
Click to expand...
It should always be "mind over matter."
 
gypsygirl

gypsygirl

Senior Member
#49
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
60
48
#49
biscuit said:
It should always be "mind over matter."
Click to expand...

agreed.

perhaps if you didn't pay them any mind, it wouldn't really matter?

here's the deal. when i go to walmart, i see people of all kinds of dress and shapes. i don't really care, honestly. i don't pay attention, i don't get offended. to me, they're just people trying to get by, facing their own battles, dealing with their lives, one day at a time.

they're just like me. maybe different wrapper. the only thing special about me is because of God.

i find it hard to understand how anyone can become offended by a stranger's appearance, however unseemly you find it.

what about average-weighted women? what about that cleavage? is our chest somehow less offensive? ;p

p.s. i'm failing to understand how you can compare this to seoulsearch's statements about porn addiction and casual sex
 
Last edited:
F

FireWire

Guest
#50
#50
seoulsearch said:
Only if you're a Kiwi. :p

I guess my Kiwi-donian (or maybe Kiwi-dashian, in the spirit of American junk culture) is a little rusty. ;)
Click to expand...
There's all sorts of languages. We got chinglish and singlish. If you're Korean I guess it's korish lol.
 
B

biscuit

Guest
#51
#51
gypsygirl said:

agreed.

perhaps if you didn't pay them any mind, it wouldn't really matter?

here's the deal. when i go to walmart, i see people of all kinds of dress and shapes. i don't really care, honestly. i don't pay attention, i don't get offended. to me, they're just people trying to get by, facing their own battles, dealing with their lives, one day at a time.

i find it hard to understand how anyone can become offended by a stranger's appearance, however unseemly you find it.

what about average-weighted women? what about that cleavage? are we somehow less offensive? ;p
Click to expand...
What women do or wear is their business. I have high standards for those who wish to enter my social circles and overweight women or playboy bunnies who show too much cleavage will not be part of my social circles because I consider them to be trashy.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#52
May 23, 2009
16,213
5,186
113
#52
biscuit said:
What women do or wear is their business. I have high standards for those who wish to enter my social circles and overweight women or playboy bunnies who show too much cleavage will not be part of my social circles because I consider them to be trashy.[/QUOTE

Biscuit, there's nothing wrong with having standards, we all agree. It's just that you always come across in such a way that you make it sound as if you seem to assume you are better than everyone else... At least, the rest of us... Because we are not as wise, Godly, modest, etc. etc. etc. as you.

Maybe you don't mean to come across that way. And some people might say the same of me. But just as you choose to walk away from many you deem as being below you or not good enough or spiritual enough or whatever, I walk away from people like you because why would I even try to be good enough to someone who already looks down on someone like me as it is? God is also a God of the humble. The very ones you deem as being not good enough or meeting your extremely high standards might hold the blessing or miracle you've waited for all your life.

(I realize this is all very off-topic and I apologize to the OP. I guess another advantage is that singleness affords me the time to speak honestly. :))
Click to expand...
 
Last edited:
gypsygirl

gypsygirl

Senior Member
#53
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
60
48
#53
biscuit said:
What women do or wear is their business. I have high standards for those who wish to enter my social circles and overweight women or playboy bunnies who show too much cleavage will not be part of my social circles because I consider them to be trashy.
Click to expand...
good call. i wish you and your throngs of 20-something-non-trashy women a wholesome day. ; p
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#54
May 23, 2009
16,213
5,186
113
#54
gypsygirl said:
good call. i wish you and your throngs of 20-something-non-trashy women a wholesome day. ; p
Click to expand...
I guess my mind is too confused and spun around by so much talk about cleavage and letting it all hang out.

I read that last sentence as, "I wish you and your THONGS of 20-something non-trashy women...."
 
B

biscuit

Guest
#55
#55
Biscuit, there's nothing wrong with having standards, we all agree. It's just that you always come across in such a way that you make it sound as if you seem to assume you are better than everyone else... At least, the rest of us... Because we are not as wise, Godly, modest, etc. etc. etc. as you.

I believe this post by you just shows how frustrated you are with your life choices, especially the single status. I am a confident person who have been blessed in many ways and it is one of the reason I am on this board trying to help others.

Maybe you don't mean to come across that way. And some people might say the same of me. But just as you choose to walk away from many you deem as being below you or not good enough or spiritual enough or whatever, I walk away from people like you because why would I even try to be good enough to someone who already looks down on someone like me as it is? God is also a God of the humble. The very ones you deem as being not good enough or meeting your extremely high standards might hold the blessing or miracle you've waited for all your life.

You have very low self-esteem and should stop playing the victim and stop feeling sorry for yourself. I had a attorney who had relationship problems and wanted to get marry but her boyfriend rejected her. I told her it would happen but she didn't listen. She scream, hollrer in pain for nearly a week in a small law firm. She finally came into my office and said she was desperate to get married and needed my help. She listened to my advice and followed it. Six months later she showed me a large engagement ring and they got married a month later. That was in 2001 ... which make them married for 13 years. She was forever grateful. She wasn't a combatant as you are with me. I could help you get married and quickly because I have the expertise. Sorry, I can't give all of my credentials on a social board because of privacy issues. BTW, I didn't charge her one dime.

(I realize this is all very off-topic and I apologize to the OP. I guess another advantage is that singleness affords me the time to speak honestly. :))
 
Last edited by a moderator:
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#56
May 23, 2009
16,213
5,186
113
#56
Biscuit,

I'm neither frustrated by my life choices nor am I wallowing in low self-esteem. I feel very blessed in that I have no regrets in my life, as well as a wonderful family and great friends. I've been able to travel and move across the country a few times now, and every time, for the most part, has brought about better things than the last.

Sure, there are troubles or challenges here and there that are a part of life. Depression has been a big part of my life since childhood for a myriad of reasons, and I post about that here--I've very open about my own struggles.

But I can honestly say I've never been at a better place or time in my life. I'm glad you feel you are a blessing to others, as God has designed us all to be.
 
Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#57
Jan 15, 2011
6,057
3,366
113
#57
seoulsearch said:
I guess my mind is too confused and spun around by so much talk about cleavage and letting it all hang out.

I read that last sentence as, "I wish you and your THONGS of 20-something non-trashy women...."
Click to expand...
Phewwww! At least I'm not the only one who misread that.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#58
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#58
biscuit said:
LOL!! I believe these women today are running in large numbers to these male strip revenue a lot quicker than the men to female strip joints.
Click to expand...
Yes, some do. It's never done anything for me. I remember when Magic Mike came out, a group of women I worked with went, they were surprised I didn't want to go. Uh no thanks.
 
J

JesusVousAime

Banned
#59
Nov 21, 2013
4
0
0
#59
Well my advice or tips would be:

1. Love your own company until you aren't looking to be married, since you only experience despair from seeing yourself as unmarried. This goes with the saying that when you don't look for things, they find you. & You never get what you expect.
2. You are more likely to have that guy come into your life if you know exactly who he is. What I mean is, what kind of guy do you want, what is his nature? If you have a certain type of guy in your head and think they are too good for you then that creates a block.
3. Have faith that he exists, and let it go, do not doubt it. God and faith work closely together, but when we look at what others have and we don't, it kind of takes us away from God.
4. Feel happy that he exists. This may seem silly, but it is the reinforcement of your faith. What is meant to be is meant to be, and with God all things are abundant.
5. Maybe do more things, be more outgoing if not already. You can't meet someone if you don't give yourself enough opportunity to. And when you see someone you would like to talk to, take that chance, face the fear and talk to them.
6. The right person appears at the right time in the right place. Find places that feel 'right' to you, not in reference to meeting someone, I mean, for you. Follow an aspiration, or something that inspires you that you have always wanted to do, or a place you've always wanted to visit. The right time comes when you do the right things for yourself, and you align yourself to God in doing that.
7. Get out of the bitter and sad feeling which causes a viscious cycle of itself. All the above will help with that if you follow it.

I hope you picked up something useful from my words of advice anyway. People would say I'm quite wise in things, and I know one thing, everything in 'our' world, is relative and we have to take responsibility for that. If something isn't 'right' in our life, then we have to look at ourselves and what we can change to find that right feeling. It's not the absence of a partner in marriage that makes you sad, it is something else and you have to find and face that. Maybe some small change is required even if it is as simple as getting over something you fear, rather than letting it be you.

Much love,
Markus
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#60
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
81
48
34
#60
1) This thread...rather, particular posts...are discouraging.

2) Where are all these women that want picture perfect men? 99% of the girls that I know (and I know quite a few) have never insisted on a man making a certain amount of money, looking a certain way, benching so much at the gym, or being Super-Jesus. 99%.

Guys must just be meeting the wrong girls. Those generalizations are getting kind of old. Do we all have struggles of how we view the opposite sex? Definitely. I know I do. But constantly declaring it and dwelling on it makes you sound bitter and unwilling to view someone differently, which I can tell you is a turnoff to want to start any form of relationship.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.