What is the Christian Take on "Dating Within (or Outside) Your League"?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
S

sydlit

Guest
#21
#21
coby said:
Hey a nobody with Christ living in them is a 10. Do you have Dutch ancestors or something? That's Dutch humor. Here they aprreciate it.
Click to expand...
Does Pennsylvania Dutch count?

Coby, ty, that's sweet, but, maybe 30 years ago I might have believed you.
maybe even ten? But, I've met very few ppl here that want Anything to do with me, as stated b4, and I've had more that take the time to attack or belittle me than not. When I've defended myself, or fought back, others have jumped in and put me down more, claiming this to be a 'christian' site. :confused: I do have a sense of humor, (didn't I tell you about my Dutch wooden shoes, or was that all in my head :p )
but I can't control other ppls feelings towards me,
and the popularity/crush/rankings etc. threads
only show me that there's no difference between
In christ or out when it comes to status or acceptability.
I've heard love, or even true friendship, is supposed to be
unconditional. I guess I haven't experienced enough of either
to know, and I guess being in the 'less-than' class,
I'm not good enough to be given the chance.
So like I said, it's just a matter of going thru the motions,
hoping God can find some small way to use me,
make something out of my mundane existence,
before the final rejection.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#22
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#22
I want to date Taylor swift. Is that so wrong?? :rolleyes:
 
C

coby

Guest
#23
#23
sydlit said:
Does Pennsylvania Dutch count?

Coby, ty, that's sweet, but, maybe 30 years ago I might have believed you.
maybe even ten? But, I've met very few ppl here that want Anything to do with me, as stated b4, and I've had more that take the time to attack or belittle me than not. When I've defended myself, or fought back, others have jumped in and put me down more, claiming this to be a 'christian' site. :confused: I do have a sense of humor, (didn't I tell you about my Dutch wooden shoes, or was that all in my head :p )
but I can't control other ppls feelings towards me,
and the popularity/crush/rankings etc. threads
only show me that there's no difference between
In christ or out when it comes to status or acceptability.
I've heard love, or even true friendship, is supposed to be
unconditional. I guess I haven't experienced enough of either
to know, and I guess being in the 'less-than' class,
I'm not good enough to be given the chance.
So like I said, it's just a matter of going thru the motions,
hoping God can find some small way to use me,
make something out of my mundane existence,
before the final rejection.
Click to expand...
See? Pennsylvania Dutch hahaha I knew it. Some visitors from other countries think Dutch people are very rude. Lol like at the office everyone just jokes all the time. There's one real nice collegue, married, just real friendly. To let him show I appreciate him when he was worried about a stupid psychological test that said he's bossy I for instance told him he's just a bossy jerk and then laughed so hard with the other collegue. Not everybody understands that humor hahahahaha, I would never do that on an American site.
 
S

sydlit

Guest
#24
#24
zeroturbulence said:
I want to date Taylor swift. Is that so wrong?? :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
Thx, brother ZT, that's a good example....You can say that and get a giggle, nothing will be said because of your 'status',
(I call it 'selective-indignance', ... it's hypocrisy), but if I had made the same remark, the thought police would be forming their posse, calling me a pervert, telling me this is a 'christian' site, and expecting an apology as they send out a bunch of pm warnings, alarms and red-flags, and run screaming to another thread to avoid me.
Sounds far-fetched? Lol. But God bless you, brother, I don't ever see it being done to you what's been done to me. Hence the popularity threads. Good luck with Taylor, though. I'm guessing the same ones who'd be throwing rice at your wedding, would be throwing the book at me for violating some code somehow.
 
J

Jeshuvan

Pastor
Staff member
#25
Apr 15, 2012
221
2
0
#25
Hi,I never dated my wife.So maybe i dont qualify.God supernaturally put us together.I never asked her 2 marry me,she never asked me either.But 17 yrs later we r still lovingly married.Bible states seek God first he will take care of the rest,after all he is the best at it,far better than Jerry Seinfeld will ever be.Hope this gives u something 2 think about.Wait on Gods choice and u can be sure u will be both perfect for each other,God doesnt make mistakes.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#26
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#26
sydlit said:
Thx, brother ZT, that's a good example....You can say that and get a giggle, nothing will be said because of your 'status',
(I call it 'selective-indignance', ... it's hypocrisy), but if I had made the same remark, the thought police would be forming their posse, calling me a pervert, telling me this is a 'christian' site, and expecting an apology as they send out a bunch of pm warnings, alarms and red-flags, and run screaming to another thread to avoid me.
Sounds far-fetched? Lol. But God bless you, brother, I don't ever see it being done to you what's been done to me. Hence the popularity threads. Good luck with Taylor, though. I'm guessing the same ones who'd be throwing rice at your wedding, would be throwing the book at me for violating some code somehow.
Click to expand...
Wait she's like pushing 30 right? She's not like 16 is she? :eek:
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#27
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
113
#27
zeroturbulence said:
Wait she's like pushing 30 right? She's not like 16 is she? :eek:
Click to expand...
Yeah, I was going to ask you, Zero... Isn't she a little... young...? Taylor Swift is an interesting choice for this thread... Seeing as her lyrics are all about liking good-looking players ("He's so tall... and handsome as..." "Look at that face. You look like... My next mistake"), Ms. Swift clearly dates within what she feels is her own league. (That's not to say anything bad about her, it's just an observation. I suppose at least she's honest?!)

In all seriousness, I can relate a lot to what people are posting here. I found Ugly's point about how subjective the "rankings" are, including in how we rank ourselves, to be especially relevant.

I have a story about I think my own insecurities saved me from a few online catfish, but that will be discussed in a future thread.

It does make me sad to see people put themselves down. I know everyone says that Jesus is the answer... But I'm always wondering how it's actively done, because as Christians, we always say, "Christ is enough!" but we all know that many Christians are miserable and do not like themselves.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#28
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#28
seoulsearch said:
Yeah, I was going to ask you, Zero... Isn't she a little... young...? Taylor Swift is an interesting choice for this thread... Seeing as her lyrics are all about liking good-looking players ("He's so tall... and handsome as..." "Look at that face. You look like... My next mistake"), Ms. Swift clearly dates within what she feels is her own league. (That's not to say anything bad about her, it's just an observation. I suppose at least she's honest?!)

In all seriousness, I can relate a lot to what people are posting here. I found Ugly's point about how subjective the "rankings" are, including in how we rank ourselves, to be especially relevant.

I have a story about I think my own insecurities saved me from a few online catfish, but that will be discussed in a future thread.

It does make me sad to see people put themselves down. I know everyone says that Jesus is the answer... But I'm always wondering how it's actively done, because as Christians, we always say, "Christ is enough!" but we all know that many Christians are miserable and do not like themselves.
Click to expand...
The last woman I dated was 29...
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#30
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
113
#30
zeroturbulence said:
The last woman I dated was 29...
Click to expand...
Then by all means, give Ms. Swift a jingle. :p

I can't wait to hear the hit song and see the next award she wins for it. :D

(Just kidding. I kinda like Taylor for being about as clean-cut as one can get in the business she's in.)

And I can relate. I've dated younger as well as a little bit older. It all depends on the person.
 
Last edited:
M

Miri

Guest
#31
#31
Honestly, the idea of league thing is just distorted. Who is to say
what constitutes a 10 and what constitutes a 1.

What if you had a gifted brain surgeon but who happened to have a crooked nose,
broken teeth, half an ear missing, warts, moles, a crooked grin and three heads.
Would they be a 1 or a 10.

Or what if you had the most handsome person on the planet ever, but they had the
intelligence of a single celled amoeba, would they be a one or a 10?

Or how about a soldier who came home having been badly burned following a
missile strike. Do you rate them on their looks before or after the incident.

Then there is the wealths aspect, would someone jobless be rated a 1 regardless of
other attributes, while a millionaire is rated 10?


I honestly feel that a person who judges on looks, wealth popularity etc is automatically
a 1 in my book as a person this shallow is not worth knowing. They need Jesus more
than they need me!
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#32
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
113
#32
Miri said:
Honestly, the idea of league thing is just distorted. Who is to say
what constitutes a 10 and what constitutes a 1.

What if you had a gifted brain surgeon but who happened to have a crooked nose,
broken teeth, half an ear missing, warts, moles, a crooked grin and three heads.
Would they be a 1 or a 10.

Or what if you had the most handsome person on the planet ever, but they had the
intelligence of a single celled amoeba, would they be a one or a 10?

Or how about a soldier who came home having been badly burned following a
missile strike. Do you rate them on their looks before or after the incident.

Then there is the wealths aspect, would someone jobless be rated a 1 regardless of
other attributes, while a millionaire is rated 10?


I honestly feel that a person who judges on looks, wealth popularity etc is automatically
a 1 in my book as a person this shallow is not worth knowing. They need Jesus more
than they need me!
Click to expand...
I totally agree with you, Miri--excellent points!!!

But, in real life, most of us are just as susceptible to looks, wealth, influence, etc.

Otherwise, as DC pointed out, we'd see a lot more "interleague" relationships/marriages... and I may be alone in this but I don't see many (if any) at all, especially in church.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#33
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
113
#33
JonahLynx said:
I've never understood what that league thing meant. So you're saying people don't date based on attraction? :confused:
Click to expand...
Indeed, Jonah.

And people seem to be attracted to what they believe is at least their own "league" or higher.
 
G

GodIsSalvation

Banned
#34
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#34
Yeesh now we're in leagues? I still haven't figured out what 2nd and 3rd base is. For real, not a joke either.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#35
#35
seoulsearch said:
I totally agree with you, Miri--excellent points!!!

But, in real life, most of us are just as susceptible to looks, wealth, influence, etc.

Otherwise, as DC pointed out, we'd see a lot more "interleague" relationships/marriages... and I may be alone in this but I don't see many (if any) at all, especially in church.
Click to expand...

In my church there are many marriages between people the world might not
expect. Including some mixed race marriages. The one thing they have in common
is a shared relationship with Jesus and often shared interests and spiritual work to do.

So for example I know several sets of missionaries who both felt called to spread
the gospel before they got married.

Often people in leadership are married to someone who also wants to be involved
in the church and who helps with the work.

I know one couple who people would probably think, what no way. But while
they come from totally different backgrounds, their family values and what is
important, their desire to serve God etc are the same.

I just think that if people put their relationship with God first, then He will bring
the right person into your life based on real values rather then the artificial
values of the world.

During my entire church life I only know of two Christian couples who got divorced.

As for me, well I've never had any great desire to be married I've always thought
well if it happens it happens and if it doesn't then it doesn't, but probably leaning
towards not married. But thoughout my life God has brought many quality friends
into my life, both men and women, singles and married couples. The type of friendships
that last and are real so even in my singleness God has brought the right friends into
my path without me even looking for them. The down side is that my Christmas card
list is far too long these days but I've known many people for 20 years plus and
have met lots of new people along the way. :)
 
M

Miri

Guest
#36
#36
Ps I think a lot of how you view people is also down to life
experiences. I've seen a lot of things and it completely
changes your perspective of what is of value and what isn't.
 
S

sydlit

Guest
#37
#37
Jeshuvan said:
Hi,I never dated my wife.So maybe i dont qualify.God supernaturally put us together.I never asked her 2 marry me,she never asked me either.But 17 yrs later we r still lovingly married.Bible states seek God first he will take care of the rest,after all he is the best at it,far better than Jerry Seinfeld will ever be.Hope this gives u something 2 think about.Wait on Gods choice and u can be sure u will be both perfect for each other,God doesnt make mistakes.
Click to expand...
Recently lost my best friend on these sites. My only friend, in the sense of daily connecting, prayers, sharing lifes ups and downs.No explanation, just gone. I didn't know where God was leading, there was hope of it growing much stronger, this year would have opened up alot of doors, if we could be patient and just support each other as loyal friends, (I didnt want to rush anything, sending things in the wrong direction) I really thought we both wanted the same thing, IF and when God decided. Maybe He already has, because she's gone like we never even met. No email, phone call, pm, post, nothing, and it has ripped me in two not knowing anything.
Is she hurt, or worse? If it were not for about 3000 miles, and other things, I'd be taking my first ever airplane ride just to find out.
But I've also been told to just be patient. (like I have a choice)
But if this is on purpose, i.e., just dropped cold without even a thx for times past, no explanation, well, friends just don't do that, so I'm very disallusioned, and I think I have a right to express that.
I'm just going thru the motions, now.
There's really not much of a reason to continue though,
when everything seems to come up empty.
I can't believe I fooled myself into believing that
this just might be my best year ever,
New mercies I SAW, hopes with the Lord,
a new attitude of letting joy be my strength,
HIS JOY! And hopes to end the loneliness
and isolation I experience nearly every day,
and that could be in a crowded arena,
But so far my best friend has disapoeared,
another close buddy just found out his
sister was just given a couple of months...
he Really loves her, and I'm so sad for
them both, and I came to this site for
comfort and fellowship, which has been hard
to enjoy while constantly being reminded of
how terrible a person I am, and how unfitting
I am to be accepted into a higher category.
This year is 2 days old, and is already becoming
my worst ever...And that's saying something,
since I don't really remember ever having a good year.
I actually can't think of a lasting moment.
I'm just realizing, I'm so down, I can't even think of
one moment that isn't clouded or marred in some way,
ONE happy, untainted thing that I can confidently
take to eternity.
Not really looking forward to day 3,
but maybe 3 strikes you're out will happen.
Now I know Alot of ppl have Alot of problems,
and way worse, so I'll be accused of a pity-party.
I guess that's a christian response to someone
that's hurting, but it doesn't make me feel better.
Just adds guilt on top of already feeling pretty bad.
I spent the last year grieving, missing my little buddy,
my cat of 14 years, and during that time, I was so far
from God, he was my only friend, but it didn't end well,
I feel like I betrayed him in the end,
and I'll never get over that pain.....
tearing for him even now while trying to finish this stupid letter.
Now l'm starting this year trying to get back to God,
Step into joy and light and love,
and I'm finding none of the above.
I guess I'm only getting what I give,
Reaping what I sow, I don't know.
But of course I deserve much worse,
the bible says that Jesus paid for my sins
so I wouldn't have to, but that's making no
sense, I don't know why He would do that.
Because of Him, I'll keep going through the motions
for now, if there's any purpose He has for me,
or someone needs some help somehow,
but I kinda hear Him saying, 'Thanks but no thanks,
don't do me any favors, I'm sovereign God,
I can handle this, I don't really need your help'.
 
JonahLynx

JonahLynx

Senior Member
#39
Dec 28, 2014
1,017
30
48
#39
GodIsSalvation said:
Yeesh now we're in leagues? I still haven't figured out what 2nd and 3rd base is. For real, not a joke either.
Click to expand...
Baseball is a bat-and-ball game played between two teams of nine players each who take turns batting and fielding. The batting team attempts to score runs by hitting a ball that is thrown by the pitcher with a bat swung by the batter, then running counter-clockwise around a series of four bases: first, second, third, and home plate. A run is scored when a player advances around the bases and returns to home plate. - Wikipedia

Hope this helps. :D
 
G

GodIsSalvation

Banned
#40
Dec 18, 2013
6,733
45
0
#40
JonahLynx said:
"Baseball is a bat-and-ball game played between two teams of nine players each who take turns batting and fielding. The batting team attempts to score runs by hitting a ball that is thrown by the pitcher with a bat swung by the batter, then running counter-clockwise around a series of four bases: first, second, third, and home plate. A run is scored when a player advances around the bases and returns to home plate.

In the United States and Canada, professional Major League Baseball (MLB) teams are divided into the National League (NL) and American League (AL), each with three divisions: East, West, and Central. The major league champion is determined by playoffs that culminate in the World Series." - Wikipedia

Hope this helps. :D
Click to expand...
No, not helpful at all, but is pretty funny.

For real though I know first base is kissing. I know home run is marriage. My theory is 2nd base is like moving in together and 3rd base is meeting da parents.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.