Why are you single?

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love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
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#82
cos I was born that way. why are you single?
At the moment, I'm happily single. As for as reasons, I really don't know any other reason apart from the fact that I haven't met someone that I feel the Lord wants me to be with.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
38,929
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Tennessee
#83
At the moment, I'm happily single. As for as reasons, I really don't know any other reason apart from the fact that I haven't met someone that I feel the Lord wants me to be with.
Getting married is a choice as God doesn't force anyone to get married. There are, however, marriages that God may approve.
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
1,881
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#86
I think mental health issues are spiritual and can badly affect others around you so if you or someone has them its not a good idea to put marriage on top of that, which can compound things.

There a lot of reasons why people are single but the main reason is being yoked to someone gets complicated. For a christian , the most important thing is to be free to worship the Lord. it is much simpler and easier when you are single.

When you are married there is too many distractions to focus on God alone. Aside from another person you need to please, there may be children.

solo or split parents cant be said to be truly single the constantly worry about their children or their exes. while they may not appear to be bound, they actually are until their spouse dies or is remarried or their children leave and are married or die.
You can't fathom a together alone relationship? I've seen a few rare relationships and read about a few. These have sort of opened my eyes to the fact that if two people have the same mission and it were designed that way, it wouldn't be a distraction. Children are a bit different, but I've seen missionaries manage just fine. Being missional minded can work just as easily here, but it will look considerably different (in my view).

@interdigitation though ;) ...I don't really have much experience, but much like when people hold hands when praying, it seems to be a physical reminder of agreement. It's also a silent signaling method, and there is a lot that can be said without words. Besides, we all are children, and I think you can be child like without being childish. The Lord most certainly holds our hands at times. I suppose that some have a puerile representation of this, but to me it illustrates leaning on the Lord and trusting him.
 

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
Sep 17, 2013
5,268
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Georgia
#87
I really dont get the whole hand-holding thing. I thought most people grew up and didnt need their hands held anymore...

When I worship the Lord, I dont hold someone elses hands up. He gets all my praise.
Worshipping the Lord isnt the same as wanting to hold the hand of someone you love.... its not about needing your hand held , its about being close with your love. If its childish to want that.... then I'll gladly call myself a baby . Lol
 

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
748
801
93
#88
Getting married is a choice as God doesn't force anyone to get married. There are, however, marriages that God may approve.
I appreciate you sharing and your post has been on my mind all day. Marriage is indeed a choice, as is most things in life.

The thing is, my relationship with the Lord is what makes me know without a doubt that there are certain things the Lord expects and wants of me. He is my father and I am His daughter. Just as earthly fathers want certain things of their children, our Lord wants things from us too.

Sure I can choose to get married or not, however the Lord has a plan for me. I believe He wants me to be with a particular person. Do I know who that person is? No, but I do believe it. Is it possible that some people are meant to be single, yes, we know that and I believe that's what the Lord wants of those people.
 
Nov 9, 2019
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#91
That's pretty much impossible, give it another decade and thinking you don't have any mental health issues will be called being in denial. Now how many mental health issues are really a spiritual issue is another question entirely, but the whole mental health framework breaks down if we admit that there's spiritual forces out there that are real and can affect us.

And before I get flamed, yes there are real issues ( physical, spiritual, and emotional) that affect the proper function of the mind as well as the scars and coping mechanisms we pick up just living life in a fallen and destructive world. But I'm suspicious of the current trend to call almost any deviation from a standardized normal a mental health issue that needs drugs or professional counseling to treat.
Mental illness is definitely a hot topic now. However, just because mental illness is being diagnosed more doesn't mean it's suddenly more common. A lot of mental illness went undiagnosed in the past the same way a lot of physical conditions went undiagnosed. More than a million people are diagnosed with cancer each year: this is a fact, not some sinister scheme or trend. While it may seem like these numbers are rising, it could be the result of a variety of things such as more awareness, better access to healthcare or more available data. I definitely understand why the sudden rise of diagnoses is shocking or even scary. It is: it shows us how prevalent mental illness is (and has always been) in our world. Not unlike cancer or diabetes or any other health issue, mental illness is real and should be treated. Whether with medication, therapy, or alternative medicine is ultimately the choice of the person who has been diagnosed.

I do agree that spiritual issues can affect mental health, but that doesn't explain all mental illness. That gets into dangerous territory: we could start saying any health issue, physical or mental, is the result of personal sin or the like. If you wouldn't tell a person with asthma or chronic pain that their ailment is the result of a spiritual issue, you probably shouldn't say that about mental disorders either. There's nothing wrong with being mentally ill just like there's nothing wrong with being physically ill. While it is true that some mental disturbances are the result of things like demonic oppression, a diagnosis (and treatment) can help differentiate the two. If the treatment works for someone, good for them. If not, maybe it is a spiritual issue. I am of the firm belief that we should use the tools (both spiritual and clinical) available to us!
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
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#93
A lot of mental illness went undiagnosed in the past the same way a lot of physical conditions went undiagnosed.
I think the times we live in now are harder than the past, thus more mental illnesses.
 

Ruby123

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2019
8,909
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#95
I think most single people feel their "singleness" the most at this particular time of the year but don't rush into meeting someone just to relieve those feelings.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,593
1,647
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#96
I think most single people feel their "singleness" the most at this particular time of the year but don't rush into meeting someone just to relieve those feelings.
One day at a time 🙌
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,197
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#97
I think the times we live in now are harder than the past, thus more mental illnesses.
I don't think the times are harder (at least not in the US), I think the people are softer, more isolated, and have unrealistic expectations ( which is one of the things I remember hearing about PTSD in soldiers and that there seemed to be a correlation between how much someone thought people would naturally always be good and kind to each other and who developed PTSD due to the horrors of war).

I do agree that spiritual issues can affect mental health, but that doesn't explain all mental illness. That gets into dangerous territory: we could start saying any health issue, physical or mental, is the result of personal sin or the like.
I agree we want to stay out of blame the victim territory (and churches can tend to be some of the worst about blaming the victim), but we also want to stay out of the "this is just how I am and I can't do anything about it" territory or falling into the thinking that everyone is sick and broken when really everyone is working perfectly fine and it's that we've created a toxic or inhospitable environment that is responsible.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
20,963
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#98
I don't think the times are harder (at least not in the US), I think the people are softer, more isolated, and have unrealistic expectations ( which is one of the things I remember hearing about PTSD in soldiers and that there seemed to be a correlation between how much someone thought people would naturally always be good and kind to each other and who developed PTSD due to the horrors of war).
I don't believe there is any greater prevalence of mental illness now than in previous eras; rather, I think that more behaviours and disorders are classified as mental illness. PTSD was only added to the DSM in 1980, and was controversial then (https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/treat/essentials/history_ptsd.asp); it was called "shell shock" previously, and not classified as a mental illness. Also, I think that we are exposed to more information through social and other media. Prior to this century, unless you were already famous for some other reason, your experience of mental illness would probably be known by a small handful of people at most.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
20,784
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#99
Why am I single? Well... Not doing things is my superpower. Right now, as I am using my phone's speech to text to type this out, I am not doing an infinite number of things.

Besides, it is literally the default option.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,547
1,277
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I will answer for 3 of my brothers:
1. (63) might be single because I am disabled, on a disability pension and therefore have less choice of partner.
2. (57)Im single because I cant find the perfect Christian woman who is both beautiful and devout.
3. (55) Im single because my ex wife dumped me. ( but she remains my business partner)
How handsome and devout is no.2... and is he willing to re-locate?😁🤣