Why can't guys and gals just tell someone that they're interested??

[AbigailZeke]

As for me, if the guy's worth the pain and shame of rejection, then I'd prolly tell him if I'm interested (and interested, meaning, I could see him becoming the grandfather of my grandkids). But I drop obvious hints. And if he's too dense, he's prolly not worth it. xD

As for laundry. I'm fine with laundry. I use hangers too, no folding is the life!

But if we talk about a typical/stereotypical married life, the man comes home too tired from work. So, even if he insists to do his laundry, I'd probably drug him to sleep then I'll do it myself. I mean, that's love.

 

[zeroturbulence]

As for me, if the guy's worth the pain and shame of rejection, then I'd prolly tell him if I'm interested (and interested, meaning, I could see him becoming the grandfather of my grandkids). But I drop obvious hints. And if he's too dense, he's prolly not worth it. xD

As for laundry. I'm fine with laundry. I use hangers too, no folding is the life!

But if we talk about a typical/stereotypical married life, the man comes home too tired from work. So, even if he insists to do his laundry, I'd probably drug him to sleep then I'll do it myself. I mean, that's love.

Well now that is interesting! lol That opens up a whole new side to relationships that I never even considered before...

 

[Test_F_i_2_Luv]

As for me, if the guy's worth the pain and shame of rejection, then I'd prolly tell him if I'm interested (and interested, meaning, I could see him becoming the grandfather of my grandkids). But I drop obvious hints. And if he's too dense, he's prolly not worth it. xD

As for laundry. I'm fine with laundry. I use hangers too, no folding is the life!

But if we talk about a typical/stereotypical married life, the man comes home too tired from work. So, even if he insists to do his laundry, I'd probably drug him to sleep then I'll do it myself. I mean, that's love.

But I drop obvious hints. And if he's too dense, he's prolly not worth it. xD What may be an obvious hint to you may be "I'd never have guessed" to him. As I wrote in an earlier post, men are dense. Not telling you this is the case for you, but rather just emphasizing how dense we men can be. Best way to find out would be to elaborate and see what men think.

In my case, both my gf and I have been vocal about our feelings in general. As we got to know each other, we both made it clear that we were interested and wanted to continue getting to know each other.

 

[Test_F_i_2_Luv]

I was raised in a strict household and it was instilled in me that only men do the pursuing. If I had a crush on someone, he wouldn't know about it.

I pursued my girlfriend.

However, she initiated contact. Had she not done so, we wouldn't be dating.

Some women confuse initiating contact with pursuing. I agree that a woman should be pursued by the man, but disagree that that means he must also get the ball rolling.

Men are dense. We sometimes don't have a clue. Once we get a clue, though, it can be make all the difference.

 

[melita916]

If a guy asked me out, i knew he was interested. Other than that, i had no clue lol.

Only 2 guys asked me out. Lol.

 

[Yahweh_is_gracious]

Agreed with the above.

I don't understand body language, flirting or hints, so a woman has to be rather blunt to get through to me. I'm so dense light bends around me. If a woman isn't brave enough to talk me up, she isn't worth it. Or was...whatever. I know what I'm talking about.

Flabberdibble.

 

[Sonflower]

Agreed with the above.

I don't understand body language, flirting or hints, so a woman has to be rather blunt to get through to me. I'm so dense light bends around me. If a woman isn't brave enough to talk me up, she isn't worth it. Or was...whatever. I know what I'm talking about.

Flabberdibble.

Ok, I feel like I'm learning here...

How blunt does one have to be? I mean...is "You're adorable and I really enjoy your company"...enough? Or does it have to be more like..." Hey, I am interested in dating you...you game?"...

How blunt does a woman have to be? I had no idea this was a common thing. I'm pondering so many things right now.

ps...what is a "flabberdibble"?

 

[Yahweh_is_gracious]

How blunt does one have to be? I mean...is "You're adorable and I really enjoy your company"...enough? Or does it have to be more like..." Hey, I am interested in dating you...you game?"...

Yes. That's just to set up a first date. LOL

Flabberdibble - a word made up to take the place of words (explatives) I would have commonly used to express being brain flustered.

 

[cinder]

Because the middle ground is confusing and complicated (ok so we're "dating" whatever that means... are we going to get married or break up? Why are you asking me to just kind of wait here in "be committed enough to wait to know if we're really going to be committed" land), and the relationship in potential (when it's just a fantasy that I have sole control over) is so much safer and in some ways more hopeful than the hard work of day in and day out building the relationship and compromising and considering someone else's preferences. There's also the fear of being a disappointment / being inadequate/ hurting someone you care about. And often you may be pretty sure the other party isn't interested and don't want to put either of you through that one of you has to hurt the other of rejection and turning you down.

 

[melita916]

I could never tell if a guy flirted with me.

Women can be dense, too. Lol

 

[Yeraza_Bats]

How blunt does one have to be? I mean...is "You're adorable and I really enjoy your company"...enough? Or does it have to be more like..." Hey, I am interested in dating you...you game?"...

How blunt does a woman have to be? I had no idea this was a common thing. I'm pondering so many things right now.

Im absolutely not speaking from any personal experience here, but I can totally see a girl responding to a boys comment about being confused about how friendly she got with him with some meme about how compliments are just compliments and all that same stuff, which only contributes to the confusion thats being spoken of here even more : p

 

[lv2ski]

Ok, I feel like I'm learning here...

How blunt does one have to be? I mean...is "You're adorable and I really enjoy your company"...enough? Or does it have to be more like..." Hey, I am interested in dating you...you game?"...

How blunt does a woman have to be? I had no idea this was a common thing. I'm pondering so many things right now.

ps...what is a "flabberdibble"?

I think the two former hints suffice. I know I need some kind of hint. So the adorable comment would certainly depend on tone and context to pass. I've noticed some gals can really throw comments like that around kind of vainly.

 

[lv2ski]

I could never tell if a guy flirted with me.

Women can be dense, too. Lol

Here, here, you're not alone. My friends love me enough to tell what a clueless dork I am.

 

[AbigailZeke]

But I drop obvious hints. And if he's too dense, he's prolly not worth it. xD What may be an obvious hint to you may be "I'd never have guessed" to him. As I wrote in an earlier post, men are dense. Not telling you this is the case for you, but rather just emphasizing how dense we men can be. Best way to find out would be to elaborate and see what men think.

In my case, both my gf and I have been vocal about our feelings in general. As we got to know each other, we both made it clear that we were interested and wanted to continue getting to know each other.

Like I said, if the man's worth all the trouble, then yeah. But how would I know if he's worth it, if we never go further? Maybe I would, somehow, maybe I wouldn't. I'm not a risk taker when it comes to relationships. So, I couldn't be bothered (at least, right now).

But then, there ARE men who do NOT wait for hints. Maybe I'm just traditional and not into passive guys.

 

[Sonflower]

Im absolutely not speaking from any personal experience here, but I can totally see a girl responding to a boys comment about being confused about how friendly she got with him with some meme about how compliments are just compliments and all that same stuff, which only contributes to the confusion thats being spoken of here even more : p

I can see why it would be confusing if people give out compliments to everyone, at the drop of a hat. I think, as women, because we are more likely to shower someone with compliments - we need to be careful how we give them out and what our motivation is behind them.

 

[Sonflower]

Yes. That's just to set up a first date. LOL

Flabberdibble - a word made up to take the place of words (explatives) I would have commonly used to express being brain flustered.

Debating on asking what one has to do to make it clear a second date is wanted....

Maybe a diorama? Because, if that's what the guy needed...I might actually do it. haha...I like to communicate clearly.

 

[Yeraza_Bats]

I can see why it would be confusing if people give out compliments to everyone, at the drop of a hat. I think, as women, because we are more likely to shower someone with compliments - we need to be careful how we give them out and what our motivation is behind them.

I dunno, I kinda think that people should just come out and say it : p Just say like "I really like you" or "I kinda have a crush on you" or whatever, and see what happens : p

But then again, I feel like I could only be with someone if we were friends first, I guess not everyone does it like that : p So I guess it wouldnt work if you were trying to get with a complete stranger : /

 

[Ultimatum77]

This is how I feel about mopping.
Laundry, dishes, sweeping, vaccuuming, cleaning the toilet, etc.; I don't mind any of that. But mopping....mopping is the bane of my existence.

I can't upload images arghh...but I wanted to create a meme with this image....

https://memegenerator.net/Bane-Meme/caption

Caption: "I used to be Mr. Clean.....until I put on this mask" lol

 

[posthuman]

____________________________

 

[Ultimatum77]

I used to be extremely shy around girls until around High school, I started to open up more to people in general and I had two friends that were girls (no not gf's just friends/friend zone)...I have actually been reading a book about it, and learned that when you do left brain thinking you become over-rational and stiff and it comes out awkward when you want to let a girl your interested, whereas if you are yourself/natural right brain thinking you just go with the flow and don't fear rejection as much.....

So this book reinforced what I already told myself and have been practicing on....just being myself with no fear of rejection....it's not the end of the world if some girl rejects me, b/c there are millions of others out there that may like what I have to offer in terms of looks/character....

Guys tend to over analyze stuff b/c we are taught to be crazy analytical in school, but unless you connect with a women emotionally/naturally by relating to stories and likes/dislikes you set yourself up for a higher chance of rejection....

On second thought though, it would be cool to have an app that scans the other person and automatically tells you via red/green light that the person is uninterested or interested in you....I could make millions jk

My biggest fear was rejection, now I have learned to reduce/eliminate that fear to the point where I don't care...here I am take it or leave it