The
Picture I posted previously is an illustrative way to show the differences in thinking …Not to show that women are crazy or don’t know where they are going …
There are unique and wonderful differences between how women and men think none of which is set in stone…. but typically, a man is linear or sequential in thinking…. and a women tend to spiderweb things… or more circular undulating.
There are a few things missing from the picture that could be added to both sides. On the woman’s side I would put shelves and compartments ….on the men’s side I would put boxes…and maybe rooms with boxes.
Starting with the men: We have boxes or rooms that we put things in….. it is more distinctive than a woman’s compartment. The rooms might contain several boxes that are related (that’s about as close as we get to multitasking) We have boxes for everything, like…. Work, Personal relationships, family, activities, sports, research, entertainment, responsibilities, friends, vehicles..…everything! ………they are all categorized, and we open the box when it’s time to participate in that. After we are done, we close the box….
And YES…. all men have a “nothing box” that we visit frequently……in computer terms, it is almost a default box. So when you ask us what we are thinking about ….Many times we try to cover ourselves ….we quickly start searching for the relationship boxes so we can come up with the right answer ….but when we say NOTHING …we really mean it. This is very puzzling to women because they can’t do this.
Women are very different: The spiderweb is a great illustration of a woman’s mind ….everything is tied together ….and I will not pretend to know how it works …but it does and it’s unique and beautiful and …. sometimes scarry.
Everything is connected to everything …which is why Women remember things, because they attach emotion to it, and when you attach emotions to something, it is etched in your memory. When I say everything is attached to everything, Guys…. you have no idea….I have no idea. But I can tell you… The noise you made from eating soup two years ago, is why you didn’t take out the garbage last night.
Some points of interest for guys
If something is not settled in a woman’s minds it goes on the shelf…. where it is readily accessible. This could be brought up two days from now or 10 years from now …and it might be in the form of “you never” or “you always”. (those words should never be use in a relationship)
A woman needs to talk things (problems) through…..
completely…from every angle,,, because it is attached to many things in the spiderweb…not just the issue you are talking about. Yes, it is beating a dead horse… No, I don’t understand…. Yes, that is the way it is. So….. what would take a couple of guys 2 minutes to deal with ….you might want to block out an hour or two.
If a woman has a problem or situation that she is talking to you about.… DO NOT… try to fix it, or offer a solution. If she ask’s you what you think → LISTEN… LISTEN…. LISTEN…. if she asks for a solution, offer a solution in the form of a question….she will get there on her own ….and she will thank you for it.
If a woman says “We need to talk” this is not a 5 minutes and we got it settled …you should block out at least an hour….and depending on the voice inflection …it could be much longer….don’t try to cut this short or it will end up on the shelf and not the compartment.
“If nothing is wrong” when she is visible upset…. trust me, something is very wrong…. and only a fool says “ok” and walks away….don’t ever walk away….. She just may need some cuttle time. And, If and when she starts to express her feelings …
listen between
the lines of what she is saying….it’s somewhere in there ….I’m sorry guys it does seem complicated but….. IF YOU LOVED HER YOU SHOULD KNOW…. You are on your own with that line….. it varies with the situation and with the woman…I can tell you…. that humility works best…I have tried the smart aleck retorts ….didn’t go well.
The beauty of the minds of the man and woman is they complement each other in an odd curious sort of way….People who put the other sex down just don’t understand the design and maybe humor of God.