Would You Compete with a Gaggle of Other Suitors to Win Someone's Hand?

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JonahLynx

JonahLynx

Senior Member
#21
Dec 28, 2014
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#21
I have enough self-respect to never "compete" with someone else for a girl. It's not like there aren't millions of women in the world, and if I'm not worthwhile enough for "that one" to be interested then I'm not going to enter a contest like a wild animal. If a girl wanted me to fight someone else for her affection, that's gotta be one of the biggest red flags possible. We both would have some serious desperation/insecurity character flaws that won't go away with a ring on our fingers.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#22
#22
JonahLynx said:
I have enough self-respect to never "compete" with someone else for a girl. It's not like there aren't millions of women in the world, and if I'm not worthwhile enough for "that one" to be interested then I'm not going to enter a contest like a wild animal. If a girl wanted me to fight someone else for her affection, that's gotta be one of the biggest red flags possible. We both would have some serious desperation/insecurity character flaws that won't go away with a ring on our fingers.
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So if you really liked a girl you'd let her go just because bubba down the road was also interested?
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#23
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
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#23
JonahLynx said:
I have enough self-respect to never "compete" with someone else for a girl. It's not like there aren't millions of women in the world, and if I'm not worthwhile enough for "that one" to be interested then I'm not going to enter a contest like a wild animal. If a girl wanted me to fight someone else for her affection, that's gotta be one of the biggest red flags possible. We both would have some serious desperation/insecurity character flaws that won't go away with a ring on our fingers.
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Man, I've always wanted to fight in a cage for a woman. Kinda like Thunder dome style.
 
JonahLynx

JonahLynx

Senior Member
#25
Dec 28, 2014
1,017
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#25
Susanna said:
So if you really liked a girl you'd let her go just because bubba down the road was also interested?
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If she plays into bubba's interest then I'm gone in a heartbeat. I'm not a door in some game show.

Tommy379 said:
Man, I've always wanted to fight in a cage for a woman. Kinda like Thunder dome style.
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Lol, yeah or jousting. Always makes for good movies :p
 
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Susanna

Guest
#26
#26
JonahLynx said:
If she plays into bubba's interest then I'm gone in a heartbeat. I'm not a door in some game show.



Lol, yeah or jousting. Always makes for good movies :p
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What if she isn't interested, but Bubba just doesn't take a no for a no? Would you then stand your ground?
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#27
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
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#27
JonahLynx said:
If she plays into bubba's interest then I'm gone in a heartbeat. I'm not a door in some game show.



Lol, yeah or jousting. Always makes for good movies :p
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Women like a guy who will put some effort in. Unless a woman is totally busted in the face, she'll have several guys after her. It's a fact of life.
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#28
Aug 12, 2011
10,418
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#28
as far as I know, guys didn't compete for me. I was never put in the awkward position to choose. i probably wouldn't have chosen anyway. too much pressure lol.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#29
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
#29
JonahLynx said:
I have enough self-respect to never "compete" with someone else for a girl. It's not like there aren't millions of women in the world, and if I'm not worthwhile enough for "that one" to be interested then I'm not going to enter a contest like a wild animal. If a girl wanted me to fight someone else for her affection, that's gotta be one of the biggest red flags possible. We both would have some serious desperation/insecurity character flaws that won't go away with a ring on our fingers.
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A couple years ago I created a thread about these types of situations called Rules of Engagement. There is no way that God will just simply drop your future wife into your lap. Starting a relationship takes a lot of work and ambition and you can't be afraid to get your hands duty. I believe you may benefit from the OP in this thread.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#30
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
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#30
tourist said:
A couple years ago I created a thread about these types of situations called Rules of Engagement. There is no way that God will just simply drop your future wife into your lap. Starting a relationship takes a lot of work and ambition and you can't be afraid to get your hands duty. I believe you may benefit from the OP in this thread.
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Find that thread and bump it up.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#31
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
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#31
melita916 said:
as far as I know, guys didn't compete for me. I was never put in the awkward position to choose. i probably wouldn't have chosen anyway. too much pressure lol.
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You probably didn't notice all the boys after you.
 
JonahLynx

JonahLynx

Senior Member
#32
Dec 28, 2014
1,017
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#32
Susanna said:
What if she isn't interested, but Bubba just doesn't take a no for a no? Would you then stand your ground?
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Oh then of course. I don't view that as competing, just dealing with an idiot. Maybe I misunderstood the OP. I was thinking the girl was interested in both of us and wanted us to fight for her lol.

tourist said:
A couple years ago I created a thread about these types of situations called Rules of Engagement. There is no way that God will just simply drop your future wife into your lap. Starting a relationship takes a lot of work and ambition and you can't be afraid to get your hands duty. I believe you may benefit from the OP in this thread.
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Got a link? I'll give it a read.
 
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zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#33
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
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#33
If i had to compete for a woman, I would challenge the other guy to a drawing competition... :rolleyes:

 
R

Rachel20

Senior Member
#38
May 7, 2013
1,639
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#38
You have a beautiful love story, a kind that would win an Oscar if it was screened.




MissCris said:
My best friend in middle school was a leggy, blue-eyed blonde. She turned heads everywhere we went, especially because at 13, she looked more like 16. My other close friend was a full foot shorter than me and looked like a little doll. So!

There were always boys around us, drooling over the one friend and flirting with the other. This was fine, until I actually liked one of them. It was bad enough that both of my friends liked him as well, worse that he paid zero attention to me, and horrible when one day he was telling three why he liked each of us- the blonde because she was “hot”, the doll because she was so pretty, and me...I was funny looking.

After that, I was asked out by a guy who was trying to get closer to my blonde friend. He dated me for over a year, but I found out he was “hanging out” with my friend behind my back.

Basically everyone I’ve ever liked has liked somebody else better. Kind of a devastating thing, through my teen years, and for a while, I Did compete- but, never being a truly competitive person, I just ended up making a fool of myself more often than not.

The few guys in my past who truly pursued Me... well. I used to be an easy target for a lot of things, and it wasn’t Me they were after at all.

My husband was the exception to all of this- he liked me in high school, he asked Me out. I was too busy trying to run off and marry a soldier to pay much attention back then. But a couple of years later, when I ran into him again, he asked me to a movie. He didn’t know my friends. He didn’t play games. He just...saw me, and wanted to know me better. I never wondered if or when he would call me, I never wondered if he would stand me up or be seen somewhere with someone else. For the first time, I was somebody’s first choice.

So I married him. And we haven’t lived happily ever after, but I’m still his first choice despite everything we’ve been through...and despite the fact that I turned half his work clothes pink in the wash this morning.
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Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#39
Aug 13, 2014
24,913
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#39
If I were in any way involved in such, I would have many questions.

1. How many people comprise a gaggle?

2. If I am one of the gaggle, for what am I competing? If I have to compete, is the reward the person's interest, monetary, social standing, maybe something else? People compete for a date for many reasons.

3. If girls were competing for my attention (which has never happened) I would wonder what they were competing for. I hope not for anything I have, as I have little...

4. If I have to compete for a girl's attention, where is her attention now and why?

Just a few thoughts off the cuff. I'm tired. I'll make a better reply to this thread after some sleep. Maybe.
 
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