Too many women set their standards too high and lose out.
I agree totally. Even heathen women have standards that are just as unattainable and will not compromise on them.
Christian women should be looking for a man who is holy. Not necessarily good looking and have a large bank balance and drive a nice car. Holiness lasts forever. That is to be the standard a man should be considered against.
One of the reasons I've stayed single so long is because I can't find a Christian guy I connect with who isn't hooked on porn and casual sex.
I've posted enough times in the forum that the people here should know I'm definitely not someone who puts material things on a high priority list when dating. I've always worked for a living and would continue to do so. I also pay for myself on dates so that no guy can ever say I used him for money or a free dinner.
But the Christian guys I meet... and most of them are incredibly smart and Biblically knowledgeable... then confess their penchants for strip clubs, rendezvous with prostitutes, hookups on Craigslist, computers that somehow wander off into the Never Never Land of adult entertainment every night, and friends with benefits (I had a guy who could practically recite the OT in its original language speak wistfully about how his attempts, yes, plural, at friends-with-benefits hadn't worked out because of attachment issues... and then proceeded to hint that he'd be interested in such an arrangement with me.) No remorse or mention that it's SIN... just a longing to find an "arrangement" that would "work out."
I understand struggles. I understand that it's really tough being single. I don't judge or condemn; I try my best to listen and pray. But I'm also a very greedy Christian woman. I refuse to share a man with other women, whether in print or on film or in real life. And I'm not saying every guy is like this... but unfortunately, almost every guy I've met who was a possible date has had this issue. Maybe it's just what I attract...
Holiness in a man would be very attractive indeed. And I'm sure men would love to find holy women as well. But will any of us ever find it? I'm beginning to think the only way I could ever marry is to put up with things I don't think I could ever put up with, and for right now, I'm unwilling to compromise on that issue.
For anyone who thinks that marriage is the end-all be-all (and I've gone through those phases myself), please do yourself a favor. Go to the Family Forum right now and spend just 15 minutes reading every post you can find regarding a troubled marriage. Don't worry. You'll find 50 titles that apply in under 10 minutes. Read through what these people are going through.
And then ask yourself if you really expect to be the exception (the person who doesn't have to deal with any of this in your marriage), because if you think you won't have the same struggles, you are most likely wrong (having been married once, I can relate to several things that people post about their marriage troubles.)
Ask yourself honestly, am I ready to deal with even half the things married people are going through?
You might say yes. But you may also immediately fall to the floor and thank God for your singleness.
I don't know about anyone else but for me, one of the best cures to my, "Man, I Hate Being Single" Fever is a brief visit to the Family Forum.