Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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ChandlerFan

Senior Member
Jan 8, 2013
1,148
102
63
Your post the other day and just now reminded me of this. (You'll have to get into the middle of it to understand why.) If you have an hour-ish, it would be totally worth your time. It's about relationships some too so it's interesting/entertaining.

It's for sure hard to break away from things that you were almost conditioned to do by your environment. I think it's good to be aware of it and even to have that awareness confirmed by someone, though. And as you live and grow, there will be plenty of opportunities to take a step outside of those old habits. Sometimes you will run into the door frame trying to step out haha, but sometimes you will succeed, and you will be better for it. Just stay encouraged. God is working on you and you will see evidence of that as time goes on.
Totally just realized I forgot to post the video :p *high fives all around*

[video=youtube;c5cs679RYpU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5cs679RYpU[/video]
 
B

blueorchidjd

Guest
I made gingerbread cake at work today for the first time and my boss said everyone liked it.
Yay :D
 
T

Tintin

Guest
Woohoo! Last night at our prayer and worship evening, a Hindu woman who had been invited by her Christian friend (also Indian) and had attended for a few weeks, committed her life to Christ. Not as part of the Hindu pantheon but as LORD of her life. Praise God! Please lift her up in prayer. Her name is Raj but she sometimes goes by the name Love. Thanks, guys. :)
 

CatHerder

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
Woohoo! Last night at our prayer and worship evening, a Hindu woman who had been invited by her Christian friend (also Indian) and had attended for a few weeks, committed her life to Christ. Not as part of the Hindu pantheon but as LORD of her life. Praise God! Please lift her up in prayer. Her name is Raj but she sometimes goes by the name Love. Thanks, guys. :)
that. is. amazing!!

I have to admit that at first beginning to read your post, I was thinking "yeah, right...whatever" because so many who are Hindu accept Christ, but he is just one of many gods to them, so there is no real belief, and no real change or conversion. But reading your explanation of this, I am truly rejoicing with you!!! :)
 

CatHerder

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
Not feeling well. Hope I can sleep tonight.
Praying that you would have the peace only the Comforter can bring and you and yours would have rest tonight. Sorry for all the troubles your family is going through right now.
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
81
48
34
I call one of my cats, Toby, "pup" or "puppy" sometimes. It just came out one day, "Hey pup" and stuck.

And I still call him that even though I have an actual puppy now.

All three of my pets have nicknames, actually. It almost sounds weird but I know I'm not the only one. Dakota is Koder, Toby is Pup, and my dog Lily is Wiwy (same sound as Lily).

Their other nicknames when they are misbehaving are ones I can't put on here. :)
 

CatHerder

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
I call one of my cats, Toby, "pup" or "puppy" sometimes. It just came out one day, "Hey pup" and stuck.

And I still call him that even though I have an actual puppy now.

All three of my pets have nicknames, actually. It almost sounds weird but I know I'm not the only one. Dakota is Koder, Toby is Pup, and my dog Lily is Wiwy (same sound as Lily).

Their other nicknames when they are misbehaving are ones I can't put on here. :)
My cats are named Marty and Inkblot (Inky). Marty is an orange tabby, doesn't like to be held, but loves his head scratched. I call him "Fuzzy Pal" sometimes.

Inky, who is a black longhair, likes to pick fights with Marty, even though he is the one who finishes them. She will act all prissy and if she were not such a klutz, would fool people into thinking she was a show cat or something. I sometimes refer to her as "the prinstheths" ("princess" with a lisp).
 

lil_christian

Senior Member
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
73
48
27
I call one of my cats, Toby, "pup" or "puppy" sometimes. It just came out one day, "Hey pup" and stuck.

And I still call him that even though I have an actual puppy now.

All three of my pets have nicknames, actually. It almost sounds weird but I know I'm not the only one. Dakota is Koder, Toby is Pup, and my dog Lily is Wiwy (same sound as Lily).

Their other nicknames when they are misbehaving are ones I can't put on here. :)
I call Mocha multiple things. Bushy-tail (because he's a husky his tail's all fluffy), Mocherpoke, etc. I call Spice things like Nutsy or thwacker because her tail is a weapon and I've been thwacked by her. Lol. I also call Titan KiKi (kitty kitty). Lol it's fun giving your pets nicknames :D
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,646
4,305
113
You know you're watching something good when you keep holding it... and holding it... until you can't hold it any longer... :rolleyes:
 
M

MissCris

Guest
Warning: this post may end up being long and pretty boring.

I had a bit of a breakdown a little while ago, but I'm hoping that it will turn out to be more of a breakthrough. There were an embarrassing amount of tears involved, which is annoying, because now it's hard to breathe through my nose. Why do I so rarely think to buy Kleenex?!

Here's the whole story (this is where you should scroll on by, if you so choose)-

I gained 65 pounds from the time I was 17 to now. The fun part of that is, that I've lost 30 pounds, and then gained it back, about three times in the last twelve years, and that's not counting when I had each of my kids and dropped a ton of weight literally in just a couple of days...before gaining it back. That's also not counting the times I've managed to lose up to ten or fifteen pounds before gaining it back. Or all the five pound losses...that I gained back.

When I "ran away" from home to get married to a soldier, I was in the best shape of my life; I was active, I ate healthy food...and I was still a size 14 and still felt like a whale. It's amazing how my perspective has changed over the last decade; what I wouldn't give to be a size 14 again! Even though that would still be technically overweight, it's certainly preferable to where I am now. I've barely started my story and I've already gotten off track.

Right, so, there I was, married at 17, and living across the country. Eating out at restaurants every day because that's just how my (then) husband lived. Fast food. Dinner and movies. I thought it was exciting and fun, I'd never gone out so much before in my life.

As it turns out, that kind of thing...it really packs on the pounds fast. Add to that the fact that I was getting no exercise...I gained 20 pounds just from being married (obviously it wasn't the marriage itself, but you know what I'm saying).

Fast forward a couple of months, and my (then) husband was sent overseas, and I was living with a room mate whose whole life revolved around eating junk food and watching television and partying. It was so easy to fall into her habits, having nobody but her to depend on, being around her friends who did the same thing. I didn't even notice I was putting on weight at first, but one day I stepped on the scale and I cried. I was up another ten pounds.

A side effect of uprooting my entire life and living somewhere I hated and drinking frequently and being indoors all the time and eating the way I was eating- depression. Which only made it all worse and continued the cycle; the more I did these things, the worse I felt. The worse I felt, the more I did these things.

My whole world came crashing down around me that summer. I was raped. Twice. I was pretty well convinced that it was my own fault on both counts, because of my wild behavior, and because of my stupidity. I've tried to accept, since then, that it wasn't my fault, and sometimes I've thought I was successful, even...but I still struggle with it even now, wondering "what if" and "why me" and a number of other less pleasant things.

The result of these events happening within just a few short weeks of each other, done by people I thought were my friends, was that I spent over a month locked away in my room, sleeping 16 or 17 hours a day, and eating. And eating. And eating. I only came out at night, and only to go buy something to eat. I read any book I could get my hands on during the times I was awake, crappy romance novel after crappy romance novel, because that's what my room mate had on her bookshelf.

The thing that made me stop this was that my husband called me one morning after I'd been drinking (I was still drunk when I woke up and answered the phone) and told me that if I didn't go live with his mother, or at the very least go back home to my mom, he would divorce me. So I packed up my few belongings and bought a bus ticket and came back to Colorado to live with my mom.

By that time, I'd gained 40 pounds. My family didn't say anything about the way I looked (at first), but I could feel them staring at me sometimes, and I can't even begin to describe how ashamed of myself I felt. It wasn't even just about the weight, though, it was all of it, the stupid marriage, the drinking, the parties, the rapes, everything. I wasn't that kind of girl. I was raised in a conservative, Christian home. I went to church my whole life. I'd been baptized just barely two years before. I had a good family, I had good friends, I'd been raised to do better and be better...what the hell happened?

My mom went on a diet with me and we started taking walks together in the evenings, but when my husband told me, via instant messenger, that he was back in the U.S, and at home (6 hours away from me), and that he wanted a divorce and would be bringing the papers for me to sign...when I told him I wanted to work on things and he agreed but then filed for a divorce anyway...I dunno, my mom kind of gave up on me, and so did I.

I had happy moments after that. I did. I lost ten pounds. I went through beauty school. I got married again. But there was always the depression that hadn't been dealt with, and while it was so easy to blame all the problems in my marriage on my husband for so long, my issues were to blame for half of it. The fact that we fought so much didn't help, obviously, and the more stressful our lives became, the more I would just shut down emotionally and binge eat.

I've not been...healthy. Not physically, not mentally, not emotionally. I go through times where I feel good, and start to get it together, and then I crash and burn and end up back at square one.

I can't live like this. I can't have a healthy marriage if I'm not healthy. I can't be the best mom for my kids if I can't be a good example. And I can't fix any of this until I learn to accept and move past things that have happened to me.

So tonight, I had a talk with God about it all. Well, I talked...and cried...and I know God was listening because God is always listening, even when I'm making no sense. He's answered so many prayers that I've prayed under the worst conditions. So, this is yet one more thing that I need to try to trust God to pull me through, and I'm starting to feel like a hopeless case, but at the same time I know in my head and in my heart that God has seen me through worse times than tonight. It's just, tonight is the first time I'm really fully seeing all the ways in which I'm broken, and it's the first time I've made a committment to God to start fixing these things so I can better serve Him and my family.

I'm chock-full of cliches right now about hope and motivation and whatnot, all of which I'll keep to myself out of respect for y'all. I'll just leave it at...I'm excited and nervous to take the first steps towards healing and a healthier life. My husband and kids deserve that. I deserve that.

P.S. If you read all that...well, I'd give you a cookie, but I'm trying to kick the habit...
If you did read all that, thank you. Sometimes it's just nice to know I'm not alone on the planet.
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
*hugs*
It's starting that's most difficult I think. The leap from saying I'll do it" to actually doing it.
Once you got that sorted, maybe you will enjoy the process. All is possible through Him :)
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,646
4,305
113
Warning: this post may end up being long and pretty boring.

I had a bit of a breakdown a little while ago, but I'm hoping that it will turn out to be more of a breakthrough. There were an embarrassing amount of tears involved, which is annoying, because now it's hard to breathe through my nose. Why do I so rarely think to buy Kleenex?!

Here's the whole story (this is where you should scroll on by, if you so choose)-

I gained 65 pounds from the time I was 17 to now. The fun part of that is, that I've lost 30 pounds, and then gained it back, about three times in the last twelve years, and that's not counting when I had each of my kids and dropped a ton of weight literally in just a couple of days...before gaining it back. That's also not counting the times I've managed to lose up to ten or fifteen pounds before gaining it back. Or all the five pound losses...that I gained back.

When I "ran away" from home to get married to a soldier, I was in the best shape of my life; I was active, I ate healthy food...and I was still a size 14 and still felt like a whale. It's amazing how my perspective has changed over the last decade; what I wouldn't give to be a size 14 again! Even though that would still be technically overweight, it's certainly preferable to where I am now. I've barely started my story and I've already gotten off track.

Right, so, there I was, married at 17, and living across the country. Eating out at restaurants every day because that's just how my (then) husband lived. Fast food. Dinner and movies. I thought it was exciting and fun, I'd never gone out so much before in my life.

As it turns out, that kind of thing...it really packs on the pounds fast. Add to that the fact that I was getting no exercise...I gained 20 pounds just from being married (obviously it wasn't the marriage itself, but you know what I'm saying).

Fast forward a couple of months, and my (then) husband was sent overseas, and I was living with a room mate whose whole life revolved around eating junk food and watching television and partying. It was so easy to fall into her habits, having nobody but her to depend on, being around her friends who did the same thing. I didn't even notice I was putting on weight at first, but one day I stepped on the scale and I cried. I was up another ten pounds.

A side effect of uprooting my entire life and living somewhere I hated and drinking frequently and being indoors all the time and eating the way I was eating- depression. Which only made it all worse and continued the cycle; the more I did these things, the worse I felt. The worse I felt, the more I did these things.

My whole world came crashing down around me that summer. I was raped. Twice. I was pretty well convinced that it was my own fault on both counts, because of my wild behavior, and because of my stupidity. I've tried to accept, since then, that it wasn't my fault, and sometimes I've thought I was successful, even...but I still struggle with it even now, wondering "what if" and "why me" and a number of other less pleasant things.

The result of these events happening within just a few short weeks of each other, done by people I thought were my friends, was that I spent over a month locked away in my room, sleeping 16 or 17 hours a day, and eating. And eating. And eating. I only came out at night, and only to go buy something to eat. I read any book I could get my hands on during the times I was awake, crappy romance novel after crappy romance novel, because that's what my room mate had on her bookshelf.

The thing that made me stop this was that my husband called me one morning after I'd been drinking (I was still drunk when I woke up and answered the phone) and told me that if I didn't go live with his mother, or at the very least go back home to my mom, he would divorce me. So I packed up my few belongings and bought a bus ticket and came back to Colorado to live with my mom.

By that time, I'd gained 40 pounds. My family didn't say anything about the way I looked (at first), but I could feel them staring at me sometimes, and I can't even begin to describe how ashamed of myself I felt. It wasn't even just about the weight, though, it was all of it, the stupid marriage, the drinking, the parties, the rapes, everything. I wasn't that kind of girl. I was raised in a conservative, Christian home. I went to church my whole life. I'd been baptized just barely two years before. I had a good family, I had good friends, I'd been raised to do better and be better...what the hell happened?

My mom went on a diet with me and we started taking walks together in the evenings, but when my husband told me, via instant messenger, that he was back in the U.S, and at home (6 hours away from me), and that he wanted a divorce and would be bringing the papers for me to sign...when I told him I wanted to work on things and he agreed but then filed for a divorce anyway...I dunno, my mom kind of gave up on me, and so did I.

I had happy moments after that. I did. I lost ten pounds. I went through beauty school. I got married again. But there was always the depression that hadn't been dealt with, and while it was so easy to blame all the problems in my marriage on my husband for so long, my issues were to blame for half of it. The fact that we fought so much didn't help, obviously, and the more stressful our lives became, the more I would just shut down emotionally and binge eat.

I've not been...healthy. Not physically, not mentally, not emotionally. I go through times where I feel good, and start to get it together, and then I crash and burn and end up back at square one.

I can't live like this. I can't have a healthy marriage if I'm not healthy. I can't be the best mom for my kids if I can't be a good example. And I can't fix any of this until I learn to accept and move past things that have happened to me.

So tonight, I had a talk with God about it all. Well, I talked...and cried...and I know God was listening because God is always listening, even when I'm making no sense. He's answered so many prayers that I've prayed under the worst conditions. So, this is yet one more thing that I need to try to trust God to pull me through, and I'm starting to feel like a hopeless case, but at the same time I know in my head and in my heart that God has seen me through worse times than tonight. It's just, tonight is the first time I'm really fully seeing all the ways in which I'm broken, and it's the first time I've made a committment to God to start fixing these things so I can better serve Him and my family.

I'm chock-full of cliches right now about hope and motivation and whatnot, all of which I'll keep to myself out of respect for y'all. I'll just leave it at...I'm excited and nervous to take the first steps towards healing and a healthier life. My husband and kids deserve that. I deserve that.

P.S. If you read all that...well, I'd give you a cookie, but I'm trying to kick the habit...
If you did read all that, thank you. Sometimes it's just nice to know I'm not alone on the planet.
MissCris.. I don't really know what to say about all that stuff except that I'm very sorry you went through all that. This next part might sound like an ad, but believe me I thought about just not mentioning it at all but something in me says to mention it.

I've been struggling with my weight too and the past few months were the worst. No energy, no motivation.. even thought I truly wanted to get back on the road to fitness. My energy levels were just nil. Just recently I decided to give this supplement a try because it seems to have actual medical data backing it up (not just another dr. oz-endorsed-thing either) and it looks like a lot of people are getting results from it. I started taking it just 2 days ago and immediately felt a difference the first time I took it. These past 2 days I've had energy like I hadn't had in years. And not only that, I wasn't hungry either. Its weird because I would get hunger pangs before I knew I was hungry. I haven't weighted myself but I feel like I've already dropped a pound or two. I know this sounds too good to be true and like I said, I wasn't going to mention it at all, but I feel I should.

It's called garcinia cambogia. You can look it up on WebMD.com even (a trusted medical data website). Daily intake is 1500mg a day based on the clinical trials. The dosage on some of the bottles being sold is much higher, but you can just take fewer pills. They sell this at walmart, its pretty popular and not terribly expensive either. Might be worth trying. The only thing is it gives me a sort of too-much-caffeine feeling. I guess the word is jittery, but it doesn't make my hands shake or anything. The one amazing thing they found was that it actually causes dyslipedemia.. that's a medical term for having trouble storing fat! No lie.

Ok, let the flames fly... I can almost hear it..
 
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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,449
9,429
113
No flames. I'm just wondering if we'll see this drug again in five years in a lawyer's commercial, "If you took this drug call the law offices of Dewey, Cheetum and Howe."
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,646
4,305
113
MissCris.. just want you to know, I wasn't in any way trying to make light of the other things you went through. My heart goes out to you and I've had my share of breakdowns so I can kind of relate I guess.. although mine weren't due to such heavy burdens. Will pray for you. God bless.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,646
4,305
113
No flames. I'm just wondering if we'll see this drug again in five years in a lawyer's commercial, "If you took this drug call the law offices of Dewey, Cheetum and Howe."
Yea, those drug companies can be pretty evil, but garcinia cambogia is not actually a drug, but an extract from a fruit called the malabar tamarind.
 
J

JustAnotherUser

Guest
Totally just realized I forgot to post the video :p *high fives all around*

[video=youtube;c5cs679RYpU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5cs679RYpU[/video]
Watched a good portion of the video and have seen a few others of his in the past. I can agree with some things, others not so much.

The problem is that I can even have those closest to me who may not even want to speak the truth about my character. Probably for the same reason that's stated of becoming hotheaded and going off at the person(s). Similar instances happened in the past where I've even asked nicely and it didn't end so well while they were in denial.
 
J

jennymae

Guest
No flames. I'm just wondering if we'll see this drug again in five years in a lawyer's commercial, "If you took this drug call the law offices of Dewey, Cheetum and Howe."
Lol...I think that law office was playing a central part in the launching of that drug....