I think maybe you both got and missed my point. It's exactly that we want Christian friends and companions to be part of our lives. And a one time meet up really wouldn't accomplish that (though if one of my CC friends lived just a couple hours away and wanted to get together I'd certainly be up for trying to make it work out). So we've learned to give each other what company and support we can through the internet and through CC. Some of us have people we've met on CC that we Skype, text, or talk on the phone with regularly. As people have gotten to know each other we have had a few couples form. But these are things that aren't always publicly exposed and certainly aren't extensively publicly discussed. So for many of us that have been here a while, this venue isn't wasted at all. It's a wonderful source of fellowship and support with people who are in similar life situations, which as you said, was just what we are looking for.
Surrounded by a Sea of People, Yet Feeling Completely Alone. (What IS Loneliness?)
- Thread starter seoulsearch
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Mostly because there are people here who say some neat things. Sometimes funny things, sometimes things that make me think about things I would not otherwise have considered. I come to read what they say and sometimes to say things of my own if I happen to think of anything worth saying.
Yeah, it's as simple as that. I'm a simple soul.
Yeah, it's as simple as that. I'm a simple soul.
Hi Lady 
,
Many CC'ers here actually have met each other. I've met about 6 people from CC over the years, and they've all been great. But as Cinder stated, time, money, and distance make it tough to keep in touch or see anyone regularly.
,Many CC'ers here actually have met each other. I've met about 6 people from CC over the years, and they've all been great. But as Cinder stated, time, money, and distance make it tough to keep in touch or see anyone regularly.
I've got you beat Kim.
I've met 8 CC'ers IRL and could have made it 9 this weekend if it weren't for the fact that my church's men's conference is this weekend. In reality it could have been 9 a long time ago since there's an active chatter that lives just across town from me, I've just never felt inclined to meet the guy.
I want to say that Polarguyinak was the ringleader on that one, and if I'm not mistaken he still holds the record for the most CC'ers met in real life.
Back to the OP ...
I understand loneliness, at least a little. I first started feeling it (and recognized it as such) when I was married, and my then-wife was in the hospital with depression-related issues. I was in a new community, hadn't connected with many people, and my kids were young. However, that wasn't the first time I'd felt it. I was an arrogant know-it-all as a kid, and pushed people away without understand how I was doing it. I got used to being on my own, and filled the space with single-person activities like reading. Now that I'm divorced, I still feel lonely at times, though I know how to manage it now.
Usually I am busy with something, and that helps keep loneliness away. I also know that I'm not really alone; Jesus is with me, and I talk to Him... a lot. Having a few good friends also helps. I think the biggest challenge is that I find it hard to enter into other people's space; most people my age at church are busy with family; either parents, kids, or siblings.
If there were to be a CC gathering, I'd certainly be interested in attending (subject to all the usual caveats).
I understand loneliness, at least a little. I first started feeling it (and recognized it as such) when I was married, and my then-wife was in the hospital with depression-related issues. I was in a new community, hadn't connected with many people, and my kids were young. However, that wasn't the first time I'd felt it. I was an arrogant know-it-all as a kid, and pushed people away without understand how I was doing it. I got used to being on my own, and filled the space with single-person activities like reading. Now that I'm divorced, I still feel lonely at times, though I know how to manage it now.
Usually I am busy with something, and that helps keep loneliness away. I also know that I'm not really alone; Jesus is with me, and I talk to Him... a lot. Having a few good friends also helps. I think the biggest challenge is that I find it hard to enter into other people's space; most people my age at church are busy with family; either parents, kids, or siblings.
If there were to be a CC gathering, I'd certainly be interested in attending (subject to all the usual caveats).
I've got you beat Kim.
I've met 8 CC'ers IRL and could have made it 9 this weekend if it weren't for the fact that my church's men's conference is this weekend. In reality it could have been 9 a long time ago since there's an active chatter that lives just across town from me, I've just never felt inclined to meet the guy.
I want to say that Polarguyinak was the ringleader on that one, and if I'm not mistaken he still holds the record for the most CC'ers met in real life.
I am rarely lonely, but when I am, it's usually because I'm doing something special and have no one to share it with.
Oh, this is a very good question. And I think it actually came up last year when a few other members and I had a meet-up.
I don't think the interaction was different IRL from online because we had "known" each other for many months through CC forums, and also the chatroom. A year or two before our big meetup, I had met Shour as he came through town when helping a friend move. I took him to a brothel...well...okay...it had been a brothel in the Old West, but now is just a restaurant...
A couple of others had met each other before our meet-up, but no one had met everybody in the group prior to our meet-up (of 6 cc-ers). We decided that we were pretty much like our on-line personae.
I don't think the interaction was different IRL from online because we had "known" each other for many months through CC forums, and also the chatroom. A year or two before our big meetup, I had met Shour as he came through town when helping a friend move. I took him to a brothel...well...okay...it had been a brothel in the Old West, but now is just a restaurant...
A couple of others had met each other before our meet-up, but no one had met everybody in the group prior to our meet-up (of 6 cc-ers). We decided that we were pretty much like our on-line personae.
I've got you beat Kim.
I've met 8 CC'ers IRL and could have made it 9 this weekend if it weren't for the fact that my church's men's conference is this weekend. In reality it could have been 9 a long time ago since there's an active chatter that lives just across town from me, I've just never felt inclined to meet the guy.
I want to say that Polarguyinak was the ringleader on that one, and if I'm not mistaken he still holds the record for the most CC'ers met in real life.
This will never do. Oncefallen CAN'T be in the lead. I just counted and I've met 7 CCer's so I need at least 2 volunteers to meet me ASAP in order to break his record.
I was thinking of Polarguy as well and figured he was probably in the lead... either that or AlaynaJ.
If the part in bold lettering caused you to raise your eyebrows, I can assure you...
Catherder is EXACTLY like this in person, too. In fact, he's probably 10 times more entertaining when he's right in front of you. He can teach you how to dance, whip up a mean James Beard award-worthy dinner, and even pretend to blush and play coy when a board game indicated that he may or may not be pregnant (he never did tell us the truth.)
The CC'ers I've met in person were a blast--and even more fun in person than they are online. The neat thing is it's like seeing a one-dimensional puzzle brought to life in high-definition 3-D.
Catherder is EXACTLY like this in person, too. In fact, he's probably 10 times more entertaining when he's right in front of you. He can teach you how to dance, whip up a mean James Beard award-worthy dinner, and even pretend to blush and play coy when a board game indicated that he may or may not be pregnant (he never did tell us the truth.)
The CC'ers I've met in person were a blast--and even more fun in person than they are online. The neat thing is it's like seeing a one-dimensional puzzle brought to life in high-definition 3-D.
Oh, Kim... ^_^ *complex-level sigh* I do so enjoy and appreciate your threads, and thank you for posting. Thank you also for your thoughtfulness, sincerity, openness, and curiosity. I often find it refreshing.
Please forgive me, for many things, but to start with...answering out of sequence. Please forgive me for contributing to your feeling of not having someone to talk to, or feeling like having conversation with your threads is like pulling teeth. Too often, I lack the will to battle indifference and passivity. I, more often than not, skim through each of your threads, but often don't take the time to actually read through it all thoughtfully. Even more, I often fail to take the further time and intentionality of responding. For all these, and others I'm sure, please forgive me, Kim. I meant no harm, but intentions and realities are often less correlated than we like to believe.
Well, the prologue now being complete, on to the introductory summation of things to come:
Loneliness is the feeling and effect of an absence or void in a person on a spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, or relational level. I'll explain.
_______________________
Spiritual Loneliness - This is commonly referred to as 'The God-Shaped Hole'. There is a design, I believe, in each of us that requires/needs God. We all know it's there, as so well pointed out by Thoreau. We live lives of quiet ( or sometimes noisy) desperation with the knowledge that something is missing.
That something is Christ, and no matter what we try to fill that hole with, only God fits there. We're only left feeling empty and alone without Him. I'm a personal example. There was a time in my life I could deeply identify with that statement, Kim, by which you titled this thread. I felt desperately empty and alone. I had known God all my life, but this growing hole inside of me (I like to think of it like erosion) just kept becoming more and more unbearable. I'd often cry myself to sleep at night, and felt next to no connection with anyone. Isolated. Alone. Empty. Fake. It was pretty awful, and I couldn't stand it. As someone who once almost committed suicide, that empty, lonely feeling was worse than my deepest, darkest, most painful depression had ever been.
So, one night, in my early college years, I cried to God. I'd had enough, and I told Him with all sincerity that I couldn't keep living like that(this). I didn't want to face another day feeling even more empty and alone than I had before, and if that was what the future had in store for me, than I didn't want a future. I asked Him to please take my loneliness away from me. I cried out and reached out in that little prayer, and so similarly to many nights before...cried myself to sleep.
If that was the end of the story, it would be very sad, but it's not. The next morning, when I awoke...you may not believe it, but...my loneliness? It was gone. That gaping hole...that empty, erosive, isolated feeling was nowhere to be found. I knew it's exact place, and can still locate it even now as I'm typing this. Here's the thing though...God answered my prayer. He took that feeling, that hole, and replaced or filled it with Himself. I now feel Him there, instead of what I felt before.
I'm not saying it's this overwhelming fire burning in my chest. I just simply feel Him where that hole used to be, and am aware of His presence there in me. It's like holding someone's hand. Even though they may let go, you can still feel where they were holding your hand. Well, for me, I can still feel where that loneliness was, but it's not there anymore. God is.
I earnestly believe the same is true for everyone else in the world. We all have a place that only God can fill. Will you find that place of crying out for Him to fill you? Will you let go of your life, and ask God to take it from you? I honestly don't think there's any other way to fill that void or lose that feeling. No matter what you do, only God can take that from you.
____________________
Mental Loneliness - This is what you might need to visit a psychologist for. Chemically, there are things in your brain that can cause the feeling of loneliness. If you suffer from clinical depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or several other mental illnesses...part of the side effects are feeling alone. There are also medications which cause these chemical reactions in your brain that make you feel alone or disconnected. It's surprising just how much humans really are chemical creatures. Those elements in our lives make monumental differences in our thought process, feelings, outlook, etc etc...
Now, there's also what I'm going to call Type 2 Mental Loneliness, which is a feeling that doesn't necessarily persist in your life, but is more like nostalgia. You feel and think and behave just fine on a regular or average basis, but if a certain something acts a trigger, feelings of loneliness arise. I'll give another example from my own life.
On most days, I don't necessarily feel alone, depressed, etc now, but if I watch movies or anime, read stories, or listen to music which is romantic or sorrowful....it can make me feel alone or depressed. You see, there's a moment where the experience is innocent and raw and present, but those certain scenes or words or feelings expressed through art and media will remind me of my past relationships and experiences. The memory of those things being brought to the forefront also has feelings associated with it, and sometimes loneliness or depression are rekindled as a side effect.
________________________________________
Emotional Loneliness - I think is a little closer or more like what you were talking about, Kim. You have a feeling associated with an experience. It's usually a good feeling (or at least one you desire), but as circumstances change...you no longer have that feeling. You remember, miss, and want to feel it again.
This could be feeling happy or free. This could be a feeling of excitement and adventure, or the feeling of security and comfort. It could be experiencing new things, or just being able to get away from everything. It could be feeling like what you consider to be more of the 'true you', or feeling like you were a better version of yourself there. Whatever the feeling is, you felt more for having it and less for not. You try to get it back, and this emotional loneliness.
This is a dangerous type of loneliness. A lot of people who fall into addiction were guided there by this feeling, and the desire to escape it.
_______________________________________
Physical Loneliness - Compared to the others, this ones a little more straight forward/easier to remedy. Physical loneliness literally just comes out of the human desire to be touched. Science teaches us that the average person desires some type of physical contact at least 6 times a day. For those of you who don't like to be touched...stay isolated with absolutely no contact or communication with anyone, and you too will find this to be true after long enough.
Often times, for different reasons, people are not in a place where these needs are met. Whether it's due to reservation or circumstance, we're left with no tangible expression (both to give or receive) of love, and that can understandably make you feel lonesome.
Many people overcome this by getting pets. You fulfill that need for physical interaction by being able to hold, pet, cuddle, touch, etc...your pet. Whether it's a person or an animal, the point is that you have a living creature to physically interact with. Whether consciously or unconsciously, most of us desire this type of interaction to varying degrees.
_______________________________
Relational Loneliness - This one is a bit tricky, and harder to explain than the others. This void tends to be something like the lack of fulfilling a social desire. So, let me try to explain...
Perhaps you have friends, family, even a significant other, church, etc in your life that are pretty good. They treat you well, and you treat them well. It isn't like anything is particularly wrong...but you don't feel very close or deeply connected to anyone. You just want someone who understands who you really are and still accepts and loves you on that level. This type of loneliness has to do more with what you're looking for than what you may have had (the opposite of nostalgia or emotional type loneliness).
So, another example of this could be a deep desire to..oh, let's say lead, but no one really respects or understands you enough to want your leadership. This leaves you feeling unfulfilled, and therefore like you can't relate with others from how you identify yourself.
It's subtle and complicated, but this type of loneliness can be the toughest to overcome, because there's really not an answer you give someone for it. They just need to seek God (from a Christian perspective), and let Him lead them into that place of connection or fulfillment. When and How? I don't know. No one does. You just have to hope and trust in God to help you realize those things, and maybe try different approaches toward attain them. Be willing to grow and change; try different things; be patient; be active... it's not really the type of loneliness you talk your way out of, take a pill for, or fix by finding a new friend, job, or romantic partner.
If anything, I guess you just need to be willing to sacrifice whatever you have to find that fulfillment, or be willing to sacrifice that very thing you are so desperately wanting fulfilled.
______________________________
...and, those are my thoughts on loneliness. Is it worse around others or when you're isolated? Mm...depends. I've experienced both pretty drastically.
As for not feeling lonely or coping... Hmm...
Well, I think you get the 'give it up to God' part of this answer. Change what movies, music, and such you are filling your heart, mind, and day with. Like Paul says, try to focus on things that are going to encourage and inspire you, instead of drag you down.
Play with some dogs...join some clubs or go out with friends/family...do some hobbies you enjoy...
For me, a lot of it is a shift in focus/a little bit of escapism. I'm busy with work most of the time, and when I'm not, it's church or games or anime or sleep...
I don't think there's a 'one size fits all' type answer, but try to find ways/things that make you think and feel better.
Robin Williams' answer for it in his own life was trying to make other people laugh. Sort of the Patch Adams story, but in real life...
Please forgive me, for many things, but to start with...answering out of sequence. Please forgive me for contributing to your feeling of not having someone to talk to, or feeling like having conversation with your threads is like pulling teeth. Too often, I lack the will to battle indifference and passivity. I, more often than not, skim through each of your threads, but often don't take the time to actually read through it all thoughtfully. Even more, I often fail to take the further time and intentionality of responding. For all these, and others I'm sure, please forgive me, Kim. I meant no harm, but intentions and realities are often less correlated than we like to believe.
Well, the prologue now being complete, on to the introductory summation of things to come:
Loneliness is the feeling and effect of an absence or void in a person on a spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, or relational level. I'll explain.
_______________________
Spiritual Loneliness - This is commonly referred to as 'The God-Shaped Hole'. There is a design, I believe, in each of us that requires/needs God. We all know it's there, as so well pointed out by Thoreau. We live lives of quiet ( or sometimes noisy) desperation with the knowledge that something is missing.
That something is Christ, and no matter what we try to fill that hole with, only God fits there. We're only left feeling empty and alone without Him. I'm a personal example. There was a time in my life I could deeply identify with that statement, Kim, by which you titled this thread. I felt desperately empty and alone. I had known God all my life, but this growing hole inside of me (I like to think of it like erosion) just kept becoming more and more unbearable. I'd often cry myself to sleep at night, and felt next to no connection with anyone. Isolated. Alone. Empty. Fake. It was pretty awful, and I couldn't stand it. As someone who once almost committed suicide, that empty, lonely feeling was worse than my deepest, darkest, most painful depression had ever been.
So, one night, in my early college years, I cried to God. I'd had enough, and I told Him with all sincerity that I couldn't keep living like that(this). I didn't want to face another day feeling even more empty and alone than I had before, and if that was what the future had in store for me, than I didn't want a future. I asked Him to please take my loneliness away from me. I cried out and reached out in that little prayer, and so similarly to many nights before...cried myself to sleep.
If that was the end of the story, it would be very sad, but it's not. The next morning, when I awoke...you may not believe it, but...my loneliness? It was gone. That gaping hole...that empty, erosive, isolated feeling was nowhere to be found. I knew it's exact place, and can still locate it even now as I'm typing this. Here's the thing though...God answered my prayer. He took that feeling, that hole, and replaced or filled it with Himself. I now feel Him there, instead of what I felt before.
I'm not saying it's this overwhelming fire burning in my chest. I just simply feel Him where that hole used to be, and am aware of His presence there in me. It's like holding someone's hand. Even though they may let go, you can still feel where they were holding your hand. Well, for me, I can still feel where that loneliness was, but it's not there anymore. God is.
I earnestly believe the same is true for everyone else in the world. We all have a place that only God can fill. Will you find that place of crying out for Him to fill you? Will you let go of your life, and ask God to take it from you? I honestly don't think there's any other way to fill that void or lose that feeling. No matter what you do, only God can take that from you.
____________________
Mental Loneliness - This is what you might need to visit a psychologist for. Chemically, there are things in your brain that can cause the feeling of loneliness. If you suffer from clinical depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or several other mental illnesses...part of the side effects are feeling alone. There are also medications which cause these chemical reactions in your brain that make you feel alone or disconnected. It's surprising just how much humans really are chemical creatures. Those elements in our lives make monumental differences in our thought process, feelings, outlook, etc etc...
Now, there's also what I'm going to call Type 2 Mental Loneliness, which is a feeling that doesn't necessarily persist in your life, but is more like nostalgia. You feel and think and behave just fine on a regular or average basis, but if a certain something acts a trigger, feelings of loneliness arise. I'll give another example from my own life.
On most days, I don't necessarily feel alone, depressed, etc now, but if I watch movies or anime, read stories, or listen to music which is romantic or sorrowful....it can make me feel alone or depressed. You see, there's a moment where the experience is innocent and raw and present, but those certain scenes or words or feelings expressed through art and media will remind me of my past relationships and experiences. The memory of those things being brought to the forefront also has feelings associated with it, and sometimes loneliness or depression are rekindled as a side effect.
________________________________________
Emotional Loneliness - I think is a little closer or more like what you were talking about, Kim. You have a feeling associated with an experience. It's usually a good feeling (or at least one you desire), but as circumstances change...you no longer have that feeling. You remember, miss, and want to feel it again.
This could be feeling happy or free. This could be a feeling of excitement and adventure, or the feeling of security and comfort. It could be experiencing new things, or just being able to get away from everything. It could be feeling like what you consider to be more of the 'true you', or feeling like you were a better version of yourself there. Whatever the feeling is, you felt more for having it and less for not. You try to get it back, and this emotional loneliness.
This is a dangerous type of loneliness. A lot of people who fall into addiction were guided there by this feeling, and the desire to escape it.
_______________________________________
Physical Loneliness - Compared to the others, this ones a little more straight forward/easier to remedy. Physical loneliness literally just comes out of the human desire to be touched. Science teaches us that the average person desires some type of physical contact at least 6 times a day. For those of you who don't like to be touched...stay isolated with absolutely no contact or communication with anyone, and you too will find this to be true after long enough.
Often times, for different reasons, people are not in a place where these needs are met. Whether it's due to reservation or circumstance, we're left with no tangible expression (both to give or receive) of love, and that can understandably make you feel lonesome.
Many people overcome this by getting pets. You fulfill that need for physical interaction by being able to hold, pet, cuddle, touch, etc...your pet. Whether it's a person or an animal, the point is that you have a living creature to physically interact with. Whether consciously or unconsciously, most of us desire this type of interaction to varying degrees.
_______________________________
Relational Loneliness - This one is a bit tricky, and harder to explain than the others. This void tends to be something like the lack of fulfilling a social desire. So, let me try to explain...
Perhaps you have friends, family, even a significant other, church, etc in your life that are pretty good. They treat you well, and you treat them well. It isn't like anything is particularly wrong...but you don't feel very close or deeply connected to anyone. You just want someone who understands who you really are and still accepts and loves you on that level. This type of loneliness has to do more with what you're looking for than what you may have had (the opposite of nostalgia or emotional type loneliness).
So, another example of this could be a deep desire to..oh, let's say lead, but no one really respects or understands you enough to want your leadership. This leaves you feeling unfulfilled, and therefore like you can't relate with others from how you identify yourself.
It's subtle and complicated, but this type of loneliness can be the toughest to overcome, because there's really not an answer you give someone for it. They just need to seek God (from a Christian perspective), and let Him lead them into that place of connection or fulfillment. When and How? I don't know. No one does. You just have to hope and trust in God to help you realize those things, and maybe try different approaches toward attain them. Be willing to grow and change; try different things; be patient; be active... it's not really the type of loneliness you talk your way out of, take a pill for, or fix by finding a new friend, job, or romantic partner.
If anything, I guess you just need to be willing to sacrifice whatever you have to find that fulfillment, or be willing to sacrifice that very thing you are so desperately wanting fulfilled.
______________________________
...and, those are my thoughts on loneliness. Is it worse around others or when you're isolated? Mm...depends. I've experienced both pretty drastically.
As for not feeling lonely or coping... Hmm...
Well, I think you get the 'give it up to God' part of this answer. Change what movies, music, and such you are filling your heart, mind, and day with. Like Paul says, try to focus on things that are going to encourage and inspire you, instead of drag you down.
Play with some dogs...join some clubs or go out with friends/family...do some hobbies you enjoy...
For me, a lot of it is a shift in focus/a little bit of escapism. I'm busy with work most of the time, and when I'm not, it's church or games or anime or sleep...
I don't think there's a 'one size fits all' type answer, but try to find ways/things that make you think and feel better.
Robin Williams' answer for it in his own life was trying to make other people laugh. Sort of the Patch Adams story, but in real life...
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H
To me, loneliness is the feeling of being disconnected or isolated from my environment, whether alone or with others. Like I'm observing and not actually participating in my life, with a sense of "gee, no one really gets it or cares right now" mixed in. I definitely have my episodes here and there, but I tend to bury those feelings and refocus my energy into other things.
I agree, people can keep themselves occupied but what happens in the quiet of the night? Or after an exciting event that you want to share and walk into the door and no one is home to share it with? What happens when something happens to you so radical it makes you bloom and you can't share it, or you travel abroad with no one to share it with? We can be "busy" but I am sure there are those moments when a person feels alone. Like the day after Christmas and all the family hops on a plane or goes to their homes and you sit there with the tree and presents to view on your own.
I am sure a person can feel very lonely, even when not alone because the other person is not engaged with them. Sleeping on the other side of the bed, not hearing you when you talk and always looking at their phone. "Did you hear me!"
This is a Christian forum, and the Lord tells us to love one another as the Lord loved us. Love, should make someone "interested" in what you have to say and what is going on in your life. Love should care, real care, not the mask or "the world is a stage," care. Maybe you day, is not "normal" but your day to them should be important. This is love, this is friendship.
When not having anyone to talk to, does result in feeling lonely. For sure, no doubt about it. We can talk to Jesus and G-d, but they are in the spirit. G-d created man to have fellowship with them, and we are created in his image, so in turn, we need fellowship too.
I am not wondering if this feeling of detachment comes from our social networking, smart phones, Facebook, twitter etc...because it distracts the eye to eye contact during a conversation. Studies have shown that people in college do not know how to converse regarding things with roommates like, it is your turn to buy toilet paper...instead they write a not on the fridge, even if they see each other. The lack of personal one to one communication may result in an increased feeling of lonliness. (No matter what anyone says they feel, I image, the majority of people on this planet has felt lonely)
I am sure a person can feel very lonely, even when not alone because the other person is not engaged with them. Sleeping on the other side of the bed, not hearing you when you talk and always looking at their phone. "Did you hear me!"
This is a Christian forum, and the Lord tells us to love one another as the Lord loved us. Love, should make someone "interested" in what you have to say and what is going on in your life. Love should care, real care, not the mask or "the world is a stage," care. Maybe you day, is not "normal" but your day to them should be important. This is love, this is friendship.
When not having anyone to talk to, does result in feeling lonely. For sure, no doubt about it. We can talk to Jesus and G-d, but they are in the spirit. G-d created man to have fellowship with them, and we are created in his image, so in turn, we need fellowship too.
I am not wondering if this feeling of detachment comes from our social networking, smart phones, Facebook, twitter etc...because it distracts the eye to eye contact during a conversation. Studies have shown that people in college do not know how to converse regarding things with roommates like, it is your turn to buy toilet paper...instead they write a not on the fridge, even if they see each other. The lack of personal one to one communication may result in an increased feeling of lonliness. (No matter what anyone says they feel, I image, the majority of people on this planet has felt lonely)
I used to be around people all the time at my church but I sort of have a bit of a social anxiety issue. I went to groups and functions and activities etc and I played on the worship team at a fairly large church for about 14 years. I am currently on a break and I don't know if I'll go back or not. My circle of friends has really shrunk and I am finding that I really prefer it that way. Life is simpler without a whole bunch of friends and it is super simple without a significant other. I used to fear being alone but now I am learning to embrace it. I finally have peace in my heart....I don't have to entertain anyone and I am learning to just be the be part of a human being. I have friends who are married and even tho many of them are strong relationships I still witness their struggles and frustrations with each other and it makes me feel grateful that I don't have that to contend with. I can just be a dad, go fishing and golfing with my boy, watch spongebob without judgment, lol, and come and go as I please. I don't look at it as loneliness, I look at it as freedom.