My current boyfriend has porn addiction and he was 1 month clean of not viewing it and then watched it again a week ago. He said he started viewing it when he was in his early 20's in university because he was curious about sex. Everytime he viewed it he would ask me to forgive him and I have. Its getting to the point where I had enough and want to break up with him because I'm sick and tired and fed up with it. He doesn't jack off he said it gives him a adrenaline rush and before it gets to that point he turns it off. He just recently told his dad who is a pastor. He talks to a accountability partner regularly and talks to a online men's group with struggles with online addiction. We been talking about getting married but I'm not sure. He thinks if he gets married his addiction with go away at some point. I'm thinking its a huge red flag and don't want to be with someone who has any kind of addiction. Relationships are difficult sometimes.
You are the wise one here, marriage is not a magic cure all for addictions. Forgiveness is good, but it sounds like this may start becoming a cycle of cheap forgiveness where he asks for forgiveness and then feels like there are no consequences; there are consequences and if you choose to still try to make it work out, it might be good for the two of you to establish direct consequences. Forgiveness isn't free for you to give and he may need a more tangible reminder.
That being said, addictions are super tough to break and having good support helps tremendously. If you can see improvement ( i.e. he used to view stuff once a week but now he's regularly going a whole month without), be sure to celebrate the little victories. Yeah it stinks that it's a process, but because it is a process look for progress not immediate perfection. How long has he been actively working to overcome it?
And yeah, I'd say keep porn addiction on your list of deal breakers, eventually it will come down to will he choose you or porn. Make it clear there is no option to keep both indefinitely.
