Pregnancy and Worried

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P

pckts

Guest
#41
#41
Susanna said:
Honey, he's gonna be a cheat and be runnin 'round like there was no tomorrow.

Knocked you up and having the marriage stalled?

Turn him loose.
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Do you understand how expensive and difficult a marriage is to organize? She sounds like she wants something fancy, not just going to the courthouse and getting the document.

This isn't her saying lets go to the courthouse and he says let's wait, this is her wanting an expensive ceremony and the guy not wanting to go into debt and throw something together quickly.

If the father of the bride was willing to pay for the wedding instead of making threats, I'm sure the situation would be different.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#43
#43
pckts said:
Do you understand how expensive and difficult a marriage is to organize? She sounds like she wants something fancy, not just going to the courthouse and getting the document.

This isn't her saying lets go to the courthouse and he says let's wait, this is her wanting an expensive ceremony and the guy not wanting to go into debt and throw something together quickly.

If the father of the bride was willing to pay for the wedding instead of making threats, I'm sure the situation would be different.
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Yes, I do, I have been married.
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#44
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#44
pckts said:
Do you understand how expensive and difficult a marriage is to organize? She sounds like she wants something fancy, not just going to the courthouse and getting the document.

This isn't her saying lets go to the courthouse and he says let's wait, this is her wanting an expensive ceremony and the guy not wanting to go into debt and throw something together quickly.

If the father of the bride was willing to pay for the wedding instead of making threats, I'm sure the situation would be different.
Click to expand...
If you read her post, the guy is the one who wants to wait.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#45
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#45
Oh we see those red flags.. they're waving fast -n- furious..


What I don't understand is why people hop in the sack without using protection, thereby creating an oops baby in the process, which now has the misfortune to be born into messes like this.. :/


Willie-T said:
Rational people should be seeing red flags all over the place if it has already taken six full months to merely make it to this point of fear and confusion.
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U

Ugly

Guest
#46
#46
theupsetone said:
Hello,
I am 24 weeks pregnant. I am saved but I have always struggled . At the time my boyfriend and I were not doing what was right but I am trying so hard to get back on track. My now fiance has been trying really hard to get right but he wants to wait to get married until after the baby is born. He just wants us to be able to have a wedding and figure some stuff out financially....
The issue is that my parents think we need to get married right away and I told them that I cant force him to marry me. They say I need to separate myself from him so that he will move faster but I dont think that will change anything...

My dad threatens that either i separate myself from my fiance or we get married if not my mother and sisters will not be allowed to come see me, throw me a baby shower, or even come to the birth.

What do I do ? He just wants to wait a little . it is breaking my heart completely and I feel like I just cant handle the stress anymore. Please help...
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Take out your emotions and feelings and look at this objectively.
Well, you can commit yourself to the man you're about to marry and have a baby with.
Or you can give in to the bossy, manipulations of your father. Likely not only trying to control you, but also the rest of your family. That way the baby can be raised without a father and the male role model he'll have is a control freak.

Once you remove the emotion it's easy to see what the right decision is. It's just difficult to remove that emotion in the middle of everything.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#47
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#47
pckts said:
Do you understand how expensive and difficult a marriage is to organize? She sounds like she wants something fancy, not just going to the courthouse and getting the document.

This isn't her saying lets go to the courthouse and he says let's wait, this is her wanting an expensive ceremony and the guy not wanting to go into debt and throw something together quickly.

If the father of the bride was willing to pay for the wedding instead of making threats, I'm sure the situation would be different.
Click to expand...
There does NOT need to be any fancy wedding, period. They threw that out the window six months ago. Right now, any $ that might have been intended for a wedding needs to go to trying to salvage at least a year of financial survival with a new baby.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#48
Mar 13, 2014
41,299
16,294
113
69
Tennessee
#48
pckts said:
Do you understand how expensive and difficult a marriage is to organize? She sounds like she wants something fancy, not just going to the courthouse and getting the document.

This isn't her saying lets go to the courthouse and he says let's wait, this is her wanting an expensive ceremony and the guy not wanting to go into debt and throw something together quickly.

If the father of the bride was willing to pay for the wedding instead of making threats, I'm sure the situation would be different.
Click to expand...
My father-in-law coughed up the coin for my first marriage at the age of 23. I only regret one day of my 6 /12 years of hell during that marriage and that one day is the day I got married. Some people learn the hard way. I'm a graduate of the School of Hard Knocks. I did get wasted though on the champagne that dulled the sense of impending doom.
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#49
Jul 3, 2015
55,776
25,965
113
#49
How much does a civil ceremony cost?

The type of ceremony (religious or civil) has no bearing on the legal validity of the marriage.

The married couple can have a marriage party/celebration after the baby is born.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#50
#50
tourist said:
My father-in-law coughed up the coin for my first marriage at the age of 23. I only regret one day of my 6 /12 years of hell during that marriage and that one day is the day I got married. Some people learn the hard way. I'm a graduate of the School of Hard Knocks. I did get wasted though on the champagne that dulled the sense of impending doom.
Click to expand...
It's a hard knock life...
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#51
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#51
tourist said:
My father-in-law coughed up the coin for my first marriage at the age of 23. I only regret one day of my 6 /12 years of hell during that marriage and that one day is the day I got married. Some people learn the hard way. I'm a graduate of the School of Hard Knocks. I did get wasted though on the champagne that dulled the sense of impending doom.
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That's called a "stand up funeral."
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#52
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#52
You need to go re-read her original OP. The guy is the one digging his heels in.. She's just trying to figure out how to get it done with hardly any money.


pckts said:
Do you understand how expensive and difficult a marriage is to organize? She sounds like she wants something fancy, not just going to the courthouse and getting the document.

This isn't her saying lets go to the courthouse and he says let's wait, this is her wanting an expensive ceremony and the guy not wanting to go into debt and throw something together quickly.

If the father of the bride was willing to pay for the wedding instead of making threats, I'm sure the situation would be different.
Click to expand...
 
Tommy379

Tommy379

Notorious Member
#53
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,151
113
#53
Magenta said:
How much does a civil ceremony cost?

The type of ceremony (religious or civil) has no bearing on the legal validity of the marriage.

The married couple can have a marriage party/celebration after the baby is born.
Click to expand...
It cost next to nothing.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#55
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#55
blue_ladybug said:
Oh we see those red flags.. they're waving fast -n- furious..


What I don't understand is why people hop in the sack without using protection, thereby creating an oops baby in the process, which now has the misfortune to be born into messes like this.. :/
Click to expand...
It's the same thing that is wrong with the rest of our society..... God was stuffed into a bag somewhere years ago, hoping they wouldn't have to dig Him out to play magician for them.

It's not cool to treat God like a second-rate, last-ditch, rescue card.
 
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pckts

Guest
#57
#57
Tommy379 said:
If you read her post, the guy is the one who wants to wait.
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I read the post and never indicated she was the one who wanted to wait. She said the guy wants "us" to have a real wedding and to be able to pay for one, and the parents want it to be done quickly (probably at the courthouse).

The two of them sound like they both want a real wedding, and the guy doesn't want to rush it because he can't pay for it now or wants to ensure he has that money to pay for the actual child when it's born and not a ceremony.

She is under pressure from the parents and wants to satisfy them with a speedy marriage and her boyfriend and herself that want more than a courthouse ceremony.

Personally I would just get the courthouse document because I hate formal ceremonies and formalities, but if I wanted to have a ceremony I certainly wouldn't let her father threaten me to do something else. I'm giving the guy the benefit of the doubt based on the information present, rather than think he has cold feet with the girl and wants to run around on her.
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#58
#58
tourist said:
More like 'dead man walking' but I'm picking up your vibes.
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Like having the honeymoon at Huntsville...oh...I guess they don't allow those visits starting with a "C"...
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#59
#59
theupsetone said:
Hello,
I am 24 weeks pregnant. I am saved but I have always struggled . At the time my boyfriend and I were not doing what was right but I am trying so hard to get back on track. My now fiance has been trying really hard to get right but he wants to wait to get married until after the baby is born. He just wants us to be able to have a wedding and figure some stuff out financially....
The issue is that my parents think we need to get married right away and I told them that I cant force him to marry me. They say I need to separate myself from him so that he will move faster but I dont think that will change anything...

My dad threatens that either i separate myself from my fiance or we get married if not my mother and sisters will not be allowed to come see me, throw me a baby shower, or even come to the birth.

What do I do ? He just wants to wait a little . it is breaking my heart completely and I feel like I just cant handle the stress anymore. Please help...
Click to expand...
When were you saved?

The reason I ask is because I've learned what you want, what your BF wants, and what your dad wants, but no mention of what God wants.

You're now asking strangers. What did God tell you?

I get the frantic. I remember wanting to know (and not wanting to know) what to do if I were pregnant for three very long stressful weeks. But by the time I found out if I were pregnant, the Lord already calmed me down enough to know what to do about it. He did that... well, because he's God, but I haven't had quite the need to know as much as I needed to know that answer back then all that often. So he heard -- a lot -- from me in those three weeks. AND I was doing a lot of reading from his book to learn the answer.

I know what you think, your BF thinks, and even your dad, but you missed the big one. What does God think you should do?
 
P

pckts

Guest
#60
#60
Willie-T said:
There does NOT need to be any fancy wedding, period. They threw that out the window six months ago. Right now, any $ that might have been intended for a wedding needs to go to trying to salvage at least a year of financial survival with a new baby.
Click to expand...
I agree completely, but these kids want a facebook wedding and to feel special. Going to the courthouse now will not prevent him from cheating, a divorce, or discount the per-marital relations, so I don't see the harm in letting them have there little ceremony when they feel they can afford it.
 
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