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After a Sunday morning church service, Phillip suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up." "That's ok with me. But what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I'll have to got to church on Sunday anyway, so I fugure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit down and listen."
Watching Sunday school pupil Willy making faces at th ekids around him, teacher Miss Betsy stopped the lesson and said, "Willy, when I was your age, I was told that if I made ugly faces, my face would freeze that way."
bobby looked up and replied innocently, "Well, Miss Betsy, you can't say you weren't warned."
bobby looked up and replied innocently, "Well, Miss Betsy, you can't say you weren't warned."
Z
Bad Day
you know its going to be a bad day and you need to pray when;
you call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
You see a 60 minutes news team waiting in your office.
Your birthdaycake collapses from the weight of the candles.
you know its going to be a bad day and you need to pray when;
you call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
You see a 60 minutes news team waiting in your office.
Your birthdaycake collapses from the weight of the candles.
H
One day Satan was arguing with Jesus about who was the smartest out of the two. He got so rowdy that Father God said, "I know how to settle this. You'll both be given an hour to give me a computer presentation on any subject you want and I'll decide who did a more complete job."
So the hour begins and Jesus and Satan really show off the skills; powerpoint, spreadsheets, graphs the works. Five minutes before the hour is up, all the power goes out. A few seconds later the power comes back on and Satan realizes that he lost all of his work. So he furiously punches away at the keys and the times is up. Jesus calmy gives his report to Father God, while Satan is cussing and swearing and accusing Jesus of cheating to which Father God looks at Satan, shrugs and says, "Jesus saves!"
So the hour begins and Jesus and Satan really show off the skills; powerpoint, spreadsheets, graphs the works. Five minutes before the hour is up, all the power goes out. A few seconds later the power comes back on and Satan realizes that he lost all of his work. So he furiously punches away at the keys and the times is up. Jesus calmy gives his report to Father God, while Satan is cussing and swearing and accusing Jesus of cheating to which Father God looks at Satan, shrugs and says, "Jesus saves!"