Match Game

[Lanolin]

Yep those too, unfortunately. I got some special natural stuff from Wal-Mart that works pretty good. It's eucalyptyus scent. I still can't put it on my skin, but it works well without being toxic.
Edit: Oh deodorant, too. I have a special kind that has no baking soda or aluminum in it. It actually works pretty well.

hmm

is that the crystal one, cos I use that, no fragrance

Eucalyptus is nice. As long as your clothes are washed and clean, you don't really need an extra fragrance. Lemons?

What fragrance is your soap? Gardenia and coconut is usually the one I buy, or lux soap.

 

[enril]

hmm

is that the crystal one, cos I use that, no fragrance

Eucalyptus is nice. As long as your clothes are washed and clean, you don't really need an extra fragrance. Lemons?

What fragrance is your soap? Gardenia and coconut is usually the one I buy, or lux soap.

Unscented deo, Tom's,

Yeah, an extra fragrance is really not neccesary.

My soap is also unscented. there's a pattern here. Although I am attracted to peach scented soap ()

 

[TabinRivCA]

*Breaks down in a fit of coughing*
Strong scents bother me a lot. I don't think I would wear cologne because I have sensitive skin.

You know, I don't really know, now that I think about it. But no, not petrol or grease. Woody, maybe.



Oh, good! I would agree.

Would you gents care to pose a question

 

[RodColeman]

Would you gents care to pose a question

Oh, yeah. Questions.

Yeah, I have a question, actually. I'm sure many or most of you guys attend a church regularly. Does your church have a singles ministry or any sort of group like that? Does your church ever address that topic (singleness, unwanted singleness, or even dating) with any depth?

And do you think your church addresses "married-couple" and "family" issues more than it does "singles" issues?

 

[cinder]

Oh, yeah. Questions.

Yeah, I have a question, actually. I'm sure many or most of you guys attend a church regularly. Does your church have a singles ministry or any sort of group like that? Does your church ever address that topic (singleness, unwanted singleness, or even dating) with any depth?

And do you think your church addresses "married-couple" and "family" issues more than it does "singles" issues?

To the second question yes.

To the first question, well pastor is finishing up a series on relationships and sunday is when he preaches on singleness. If it goes poorly I'm probanly going to want to smack someone, but mostly I'm expecting to hear a sermon that's a nice idea but something the church doesn't live up to and it will probably be clear that he doesn't have any clue what it's really like to be single, let alone an older single in church.

 

[RodColeman]

To the second question yes.

To the first question, well pastor is finishing up a series on relationships and Sunday is when he preaches on singleness. If it goes poorly I'm probably going to want to smack someone, but mostly I'm expecting to hear a sermon that's a nice idea but something the church doesn't live up to and it will probably be clear that he doesn't have any clue what it's really like to be single, let alone an older single in church.

Yeah, I'm sure lots of singles brace themselves whenever a married pastor starts teaching about singleness.

Have you ever been to a church with an unmarried pastor, or unmarried church elders? I never have. Name one pastor you know that got married after 25.

Personally, my own home church doesn't teach topically, we go through whole books verse-by-verse and chapter-by-chapter as we go through different books. Of course, there's only, like, two parts of the Bible that deal with that topic, so it only gets covered, like two times every seven years or so. And then only relatively briefly. When it does get covered, I think he mentioned something about "trusting God" or "God's timing" or something like that. We've also had "marriage conferences," but nothing about singleness or dating. When we have weddings at church, the pastor will often comment that God "brings people together," etc., etc.

I also currently work in my church bookstore. For the longest time, the only "relationship books" we had were about marriage, and we didn't even have too many of those. But I did ask them to add some books that I know about singleness/dating, they thought it was a great idea, and some of these books actually sell pretty well, pretty consistently. So it does seem like there was a need for it. Some of the younger folks even started their own unofficial discussion group about one of these books.

I actually think it's be easier for me, a single person, to counsel married friends, than for my married pastor to counsel single people. I mean, I'm generalizing here, but I'd say every single person has read books about marriage. There's thousands, I'm sure. You can even get a marriage book to match your theology. Everybody has one. Now name the book your married friends have read about singleness. Whoops. There's also very clear scriptures about marriage – what it is, what it is for, what the roles are etc. There's very little about singleness, and a lot of it gets interpreted wrong. And the Bible simply has more to say about marriage than singleness. Sometimes the singleness stuff is just tacked on to the married stuff, as an afterthought.

There might be single people who know more about marriage than most pastors know about singleness.

We also don't have a "singles ministry" at church. I did suggest starting one one time, but the leadership was a bit cool on the idea because they didn't want people attending such a group for the "wrong motives." They said that, if we did have such a group, there would need to be separate ones for men and women. I don't necessarily agree with that, but it was kind of a relief to see that they'd actually given that topic some thought. I just assumed that no one had ever seen the need. I'm also not really sure about how to keep a ministry like that going month after month and year after year because, like I said, the Bible, in totality, doesn't say all that much about singleness.

Also, I’ve never heard singleness mentioned in a sermon in which sex wasn’t mentioned. Almost every example of a single person in a sermon has something to do with sex.

That being said, cut your pastor some slack and realize that they love you even if they don’t get your situation. Seriously – especially if they try. Pastor’s hearts break for their people. Trust me. I know that to be true. Your pastor is not a mind reader. If you have ideas and they're open to them, by all means, tell them.

 

[seoulsearch]

Yeah, I'm sure lots of singles brace themselves whenever a married pastor starts teaching about singleness.

Have you ever been to a church with an unmarried pastor, or unmarried church elders? I never have. Name one pastor you know that got married after 25.

Personally, my own home church doesn't teach topically, we go through whole books verse-by-verse and chapter-by-chapter as we go through different books. Of course, there's only, like, two parts of the Bible that deal with that topic, so it only gets covered, like two times every seven years or so. And then only relatively briefly. When it does get covered, I think he mentioned something about "trusting God" or "God's timing" or something like that. We've also had "marriage conferences," but nothing about singleness or dating. When we have weddings at church, the pastor will often comment that God "brings people together," etc., etc.

I also currently work in my church bookstore. For the longest time, the only "relationship books" we had were about marriage, and we didn't even have too many of those. But I did ask them to add some books that I know about singleness/dating, they thought it was a great idea, and some of these books actually sell pretty well, pretty consistently. So it does seem like there was a need for it. Some of the younger folks even started their own unofficial discussion group about one of these books.

I actually think it's be easier for me, a single person, to counsel married friends, than for my married pastor to counsel single people. I mean, I'm generalizing here, but I'd say every single person has read books about marriage. There's thousands, I'm sure. You can even get a marriage book to match your theology. Everybody has one. Now name the book your married friends have read about singleness. Whoops. There's also very clear scriptures about marriage – what it is, what it is for, what the roles are etc. There's very little about singleness, and a lot of it gets interpreted wrong. And the Bible simply has more to say about marriage than singleness. Sometimes the singleness stuff is just tacked on to the married stuff, as an afterthought.

There might be single people who know more about marriage than most pastors know about singleness.

We also don't have a "singles ministry" at church. I did suggest starting one one time, but the leadership was a bit cool on the idea because they didn't want people attending such a group for the "wrong motives." They said that, if we did have such a group, there would need to be separate ones for men and women. I don't necessarily agree with that, but it was kind of a relief to see that they'd actually given that topic some thought. I just assumed that no one had ever seen the need. I'm also not really sure about how to keep a ministry like that going month after month and year after year because, like I said, the Bible, in totality, doesn't say all that much about singleness.

Also, I’ve never heard singleness mentioned in a sermon in which sex wasn’t mentioned. Almost every example of a single person in a sermon has something to do with sex.

That being said, cut your pastor some slack and realize that they love you even if they don’t get your situation. Seriously – especially if they try. Pastor’s hearts break for their people. Trust me. I know that to be true. Your pastor is not a mind reader. If you have ideas and they're open to them, by all means, tell them.

I listen online to a church in Sun Valley, AZ, and there's been a married guest pastor who's preached the best sermons on Singleness I've ever heard in my life. (For example, he talks about the fact that in the coming years, the majority number in the churches will be singles, and he scolds other married people for trying to match singles with just any other crazy single person they can think of, LOL!!)

In fact, while I've heard "lessons" on singleness and little tidbits of token lectures on singleness shoe-horned into "regular" sermons, this might be the first time I've heard entire sermons dedicated to singlesness.

But the fact that he's given TWO sermons on singleness shows how much the demographics are changing, whether the church is ready for it or not.

And we all know they're not ready.

I'm at a Lutheran church (the Lutheran Synod and many others like it are often dubbed "Heaven's Gate".) The conversation I overheard last Sunday is a good example of why. I overheard one member asking how old another was ("I'm 80,") and he replied, "Why, you're just a young whipper snapper. I'm 87!")

I go to the early service, and it very much looks like a nursing home (but the early service is what I prefer and where I feel God has me.)

They do have a youth group for teens and maybe those in their early 20's?

But yeah... Churches that can't adapt to the younger and/or single masses are not going to survive. However, we all know there is a line between "changing to meet the needs of incoming demographics" -- and adopting liberal policies, which we all see happening as well.

We don't want to see churches adapt to majority single crowds by telling them they can all live in sin, which is happening in some some places.

As usual, I got off track.

In Lutheran school, I do remember a pastor who would tell us the story of how he wasn't married until I think around 30, and how he was in a wrestling match with God for years about not having a wife.

I used to enjoy stories of people finding someone when they were "older," but now "older" to me means 65 and not 30. Now I'm thankful to hear about people who married into a blended family after losing a spouse, etc. -- and no one in it is strangling each other (yet.)

I've also had grandparents and/or parents in senior circles most of my life and many much older people -- 70's, 80''s 90's -- are still coupling off, especially after being married all their lives.

Many don't want to be alone, and/or are used to having someone take care of them, whether financially or domestically.

It's interesting because we're in a societal place where singleness no longer has specific age brackets.

 

[seoulsearch]

Hmm...

And now for a question (you'd think it wouldn't be so hard since I'm always asking questions!)


When going on a date that involves food, would you/do you avoid certain foods while with the person to avoid bad breath?

For example -- onions, garlic, Doritos, coffee, etc... ???

 

[RodColeman]

Hmm...

And now for a question (you'd think it wouldn't be so hard since I'm always asking questions!)


When going on a date that involves food, would you/do you avoid certain foods while with the person to avoid bad breath?

For example -- onions, garlic, Doritos, coffee, etc... ???

I don't mind food with onions and garlic as long as the food is actually good. So probably not.

The only "food" dates I've been on so far have involved breakfast (baked goods & coffee) and hibachi. I never noticed my dates having bad breath from any of that.

I do bring mints along on dates, I drink after eating, and I don't breathe in my date's face. Nor do I give her passionate kisses while in a public place like a restaurant, haha. So I think the problem can be managed.

 

[Lanolin]

Hmm...

And now for a question (you'd think it wouldn't be so hard since I'm always asking questions!)


When going on a date that involves food, would you/do you avoid certain foods while with the person to avoid bad breath?

For example -- onions, garlic, Doritos, coffee, etc... ???

Remember, all the coffee in the entire world has run out so I won't have that problem.

Also if you are going to any restaurant worth it's salt that has garlic and onions, it will have free breath mints at the counter where you pay.

 

[Lanolin]

Ok my question...what are you waiting for?
Oh hold on, I already asked that in another thread...but seriously, what are you waiting for?

 

[RodColeman]

Ok my question...what are you waiting for?
Oh hold on, I already asked that in another thread...but seriously, what are you waiting for?

What do you mean? Are you asking why some of us are still single?

 

[TabinRivCA]

Ok my question...what are you waiting for?
Oh hold on, I already asked that in another thread...but seriously, what are you waiting for?

I'm waiting for some awesome single's on here to Match up...I hope there's some action going on in the background, lol. So many eligible, sweet members here desiring a family...

Question, what is a 'must have' trait in your potential (or imaginary) spouse you'd really be blown away by?

 

[Lanolin]

I'm waiting for some awesome single's on here to Match up...I hope there's some action going on in the background, lol. So many eligible, sweet members here desiring a family...

Question, what is a 'must have' trait in your potential (or imaginary) spouse you'd really be blown away by?

um...IMAGINARY spouse? I'll have to think about that one.

...uh, be faithful and not a traitor...but how would you know because faith isn't something immediately obvious in a person...it needs to be tested...

 

[Lanolin]

How will you test this faith? Or how do you know someone is already faithful apart from maybe attending a WOF church every single week?

 

[Lanolin]

What do you mean? Are you asking why some of us are still single?

You need to answer the question first and not just answer with 2 more questions.

 

[TabinRivCA]

Oh, yeah. Questions.

Yeah, I have a question, actually. I'm sure many or most of you guys attend a church regularly. Does your church have a singles ministry or any sort of group like that? Does your church ever address that topic (singleness, unwanted singleness, or even dating) with any depth?

And do you think your church addresses "married-couple" and "family" issues more than it does "singles" issues?

Unfortunately while my local church is great on salvations it has no designated Single's groups. I think they tried but bc of all the input needed, esp age ranges, it fizzled out. What they have is a large selection of small groups, designating Singles, Couples, Mom's etc. where people get to know each other in a smaller setting. So yeah, Idk why this isn't addressed to aid young adults in meeting up with other like-minded singles.

 

[TabinRivCA]

How will you test this faith? Or how do you know someone is already faithful apart from maybe attending a WOF church every single week?

I think the Holy Spirit would give someone a clue about the potential partner and hopefully if they're attending church they are sincere. Then it's up to a few dates to see the chemistry and if you're on the same page on OSAS, lol.

 

[Lanolin]

Unfortunately while my local church is great on salvations it has no designated Single's groups. I think they tried but bc of all the input needed, esp age ranges, it fizzled out. What they have is a large selection of small groups, designating Singles, Couples, Mom's etc. where people get to know each other in a smaller setting. So yeah, Idk why this isn't addressed to aid young adults in meeting up with other like-minded singles.

Just name the group 'the breeding ground' as thats what it's for. If you can't have dance in the church hall, where else are you going to have it? On the streets?

 

[Lanolin]

I think the Holy Spirit would give someone a clue about the potential partner and hopefully if they're attending church they are sincere. Then it's up to a few dates to see the chemistry and if you're on the same page on OSAS, lol.

Some clue?
For the most part people are clueless.
You also can be sincere, but sincerely wrong about someone.
Also how do you test this 'chemistry'. Wait till something explodes...some kind of reaction? Does the date laugh at your joke or go 'huh I don't get it'