Male and Female

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Apr 26, 2012
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#21
I was told once that the reason women have smaller feet than men, is so that they can get closer to the kitchen sink when washing dishes....... So washing dishes must be a woman thing?? :cool::p
washing dishes is great therapy-- relaxing. I have a dishwasher and never use it.

Well, in this BBC comedy video clip, women are supposed to know their limits--

<font size="4">[video=youtube;LS37SNYjg8w]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w[/video]

 
Apr 26, 2012
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#22
Yeah any guy can pick up a weapon or look repulsive or strong as an outward sign to intimidate but what a man does concerning "Truth" and "responsibilities" is so much more important to define than anything,pretty sad that the so called toughest men "cry" over a little responsibility nowadays.
"that's not a knoyfe!"

[video=youtube;POJtaO2xB_o]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POJtaO2xB_o[/video]

"I read the Bible once. You know God and Jesus and all them apostles? They were all fishermen, just like me..."
--Crocodile Dundee
 
Apr 26, 2012
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#23
Femininity is a bit of a mystery to me. I grew up around tough women who did hard jobs (my favorite aunt was a surveyor, a police officer, truck driver, and can hang drywall like nobody’s business. My mom used to work multiple jobs at once and then come home and do the work of two parents). There was little attention to or patience for traditionally girly things; makeup, fussy hair styles, girly clothes (my mom wore jeans, flannel shirts and work boots).

I was taught, basically, that being a woman meant doing what needs done, whether it’s tough or not. And I think this is good, but not gender specific.

After I left home and was married (the first time), my view of what feminine was expanded- from the way I was treated, and the way the women around me acted and were treated, I thought women had to be sexy. Easy. Up for anything. So I dressed a certain way, acted a certain way, and after a good long while got tired of being treated the way I was advertising that I wanted to be treated.

Fast forward through a lot of other hard lessons to now- Here’s what I personally think about femininity:

There is never going to be a one-size-fits-all answer like society tries to convince us there is. Traits that I admire and respect in other women are honesty, modesty, strength tempered with vulnerability, joy and contentment in where they are, respect for men, a gentle heart, an adventurous spirit, a desire to obey God...there are probably more I can’t think of. What I can think of though are several women on this forum who frequently display many of the traits I admire. In fact if you want to put together a picture of femininity in all its facets, the women on this forum are a great place to start-

curious minds
lively spirits
beauty
strength
wisdom
intelligence
compassion
empathy
hard work
respect
kindness
joy
patience
love for God

Just a few characteristics I’ve noticed in the ladies around here.
Totally agree!
Very nice post--

Here's one more... sassy lady pilot and one who thinks he's invincible--
probably seen it...but always fun again...

[video=youtube;RSL30W9DeU8]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSL30W9DeU8[/video]
 

Tinuviel

Senior Member
Jun 6, 2015
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#24
It can't have to do with the work that they're doing. I was shoveling manure in our barn one time, while entertaining a house guest. (not my fav way of entertaining but I thought it was better than leaving her by herself in the house!) As we were walking back to the house, trying to outstrip the smell, me only thinking about changing back into house clothes, she says: "I've learned a lot from staying with your family. You and your sisters are all very elegant. Very feminine." So I have no idea what she saw...but apparently you can be doing the hardest, dirtiest work around and still be elegant and feminine. I would guess you could be doing "women's work" and still be masculine too. I think it has to do with the spirit...but that's as far as my deductions have gone :D
 

MissCris

Senior Member
Aug 24, 2011
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#25
It can't have to do with the work that they're doing. I was shoveling manure in our barn one time, while entertaining a house guest. (not my fav way of entertaining but I thought it was better than leaving her by herself in the house!) As we were walking back to the house, trying to outstrip the smell, me only thinking about changing back into house clothes, she says: "I've learned a lot from staying with your family. You and your sisters are all very elegant. Very feminine." So I have no idea what she saw...but apparently you can be doing the hardest, dirtiest work around and still be elegant and feminine. I would guess you could be doing "women's work" and still be masculine too. I think it has to do with the spirit...but that's as far as my deductions have gone :D
Yes! I agree it has to do with the spirit. I think that may be why it’s so difficult to truly define or pinpoint exactly what is true masculinity or femininity. It’s easy to point out obvious physical differences, it’s easy to define something as man’s or woman’s work, but what is at the core, the very heart of what a man or woman is, or should be? Their spirit.

...which raises more questions (in general, not directed at you)-

How would you describe a masculine spirit? Have you ever seen a man that just struck you as very masculine in some way that had nothing to do with appearance?

Same for women- have you ever been struck by the femininity of a woman in a way that had nothing to do with appearance?

(Good post Tinuviel, I think you got right to the heart of the topic and pointed out something I couldn’t quite get hold of in my mind :) )
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
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#26
I was told once that the reason women have smaller feet than men, is so that they can get closer to the kitchen sink when washing dishes....... So washing dishes must be a woman thing?? :cool::p
I do the dishes everyday. It's no big deal.
 

NoNameMcgee

Senior Member
May 6, 2017
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#27
What do you see as being ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’? Does it come down to how a person looks, if they fulfill typical stereotypes of their gender?

masculine is typically more like "rugged"

feminine is typically more "elegant"

Does it boil down to the way they act? The way they speak? The jobs they do? The household tasks they perform?
i wouldnt say it boils down to anything

we all have layers and our own specific personality

In your opinion, what makes a man truly masculine? What makes a woman truly feminine?



well at the very base

the parts we are born with....

in a more "inward" sense

i personally think we could all be a little more meek in certain situations

and a little more bold in others

but we ought to remember who we really are and fulfill our God given roles
 
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maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
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#28
Where? I just did an eSword search on "Act like a man" & "acting like a man": both came up zilch. :cool:


"Act like a man"... where is it?

There are many scriptures which essentially say "act like a man" worded in various ways.
I could easily list some of them.
However, I don't think merely listing some verses will solve the real problem here.
If a man is willing to do some real study, and put in some real effort, he could start by looking up all occurrences of the words "man" and "men", and this alone would yield plenty of answers and examples.


If a man is NOT willing to do any study about being a man... then any effort from me would just be wasted effort.


Difficult Thoughts:

* A man should probably be willing to put forth some effort to find out what God says about being a man.

* And if the men here get upset because someone suggests men should act like men... well... I think their response would prove the point.



Summing it up:

A.
If you're willing to do the hard study, to search out what God says about being a man, then you're already displaying the manly characteristics required to accept what you find.

B.
If you're unwilling to do any study, that shows you're not even serious about God's view of the topic, so you're not going to listen anyway.




 
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maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
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#29
Deade,

My statements above were only my "general" thoughts on the topic.
They were NOT directed specifically at you,
and they were not meant to disparage you personally, or question your motives.
I don't know you, so I have no reason to question your motives.
I'm sure you were just asking an honest question, in an honest way.

However, I decided to use your comment as a sort of "launching pad" to move over into some more GENERAL areas on the broader topic.

After I posted I noticed this could be misunderstood, and taken personally, and that's not how I meant it... so I'm trying to clarify.
 
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Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
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#30
With the exception of adjectives specifically identifying gender, such as "masculine" or "ladylike", I can't think offhand of any that apply exclusively to either gender. There seem to be exceptions for everything, even without entertaining aberrations such as the stereotypical "sensitive" gay male or "butchy" gay female.

There are broad generalizations. Don't shoot me for mentioning these... women (generally) are more compassionate, encouraging, expressive with all emotions, and relationally-oriented, while men (again, generally) are more directive, assertive, expressive only with anger or frustration, and task-oriented. Men seem better able to focus on a single task, even to the exclusion of important stimuli around them, while women seem better able to integrate sensory information concurrently. As has been noted, men generally are much stronger physically. That said, women tend to be better at "toughing out" internal discomfort, while men are better at toughing out external discomfort.

What does this all mean to defining what it means to be "male" or "female"? Still thinking on that. I will say only that God designed us, and He thought His creation was "very good". I ain't gonna argue with the Potter. :)
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
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#31
In a failing world of failing marriages...the lines have been blurred. Often both sexes take on the roles of both parents.

I wish there was a Christian man to be that provider and tower of strength to allow me to stay home and tend to the home, children, grandchildren, him, and women's church ministry.
I wouldn't know what to do with myself! I've always, even through marriage worked outside the home....and do all the rest.
 

JonahLynx

Senior Member
Dec 28, 2014
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#32
I'd like to throw a wrench into this conversation, since it's a topic I've been dealing with for awhile.

King Saul was described as possibly the "manliest-man" of Israel at the time, became a warrior-king but was ultimately rejected because he trusted himself rather than God. David was a scrawny musician who trusted God more than himself. Who was more masculine... does it even matter? The whole contrast leads up to the famous verse about God looking at the heart whereas man looks at the outside. So evidently a man should strive to be like David rather than Saul, from he perspective of inward devotion. Physicality is irrelevant.

A similar case happened with Esau and Jacob - the first being a rugged outdoors-type, whereas the other stayed in the tents all day with his mother. Yet Jacob was the one who was blessed and became Israel, not Esau. Jacob was faithful to God, not Esau.

And then you have Moses, who was so "meek" (actual word used) that God agreed to use his brother to speak for him. Would you view your pastor as masculine if he was afraid to go up on stage and speak? Yet I don't think anyone can dismiss the significance of Moses's leadership. Clearly masculinity is not outward, or if it is, it is irrelevant to serving God effectively as a man. The underlying theme with all three of these people was faith in God over themselves.

So youthfulness, fairness, meekness... typically feminine qualities, used to describe three of the most influential men of the OT.

I haven't done as extensive a study on feminine qualities, but maybe most obvious counters to the "status-quo" would be Esther, Deborah, and Ruth. Again, all of these demonstrated traits opposite the traditional view of womanhood (boldness, leadership, independence).

What we should strive for is faith in God rather than faith in our gender role - whatever that is.
 
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Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
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#33
I'd like to throw a wrench into this conversation, since it's a topic I've been dealing with for awhile.

King Saul was described as possibly the "manliest-man" of Israel at the time, became a warrior-king but was ultimately rejected because he trusted himself rather than God. David was a scrawny musician who trusted God more than himself. Who was more masculine... does it even matter? The whole contrast leads up to the famous verse about God looking at the heart whereas man looks at the outside. So evidently a man should strive to be like David rather than Saul, from he perspective of inward devotion. Physicality is irrelevant.

A similar case happened with Esau and Jacob - the first being a rugged outdoors-type, whereas the other stayed in the tents all day with his mother. Yet Jacob was the one who was blessed and became Israel, not Esau. Jacob was faithful to God, not Esau.

And then you have Moses, who was so "meek" (actual word used) that God agreed to use his brother to speak for him. Would you view your pastor as masculine if he was afraid to go up on stage and speak? Yet I don't think anyone can dismiss the significance of Moses's leadership. Clearly masculinity is not outward, or if it is, it is irrelevant to serving God effectively as a man. The underlying theme with all three of these people was faith in God over themselves.

So youthfulness, fairness, meekness... typically feminine qualities, used to describe three of the most influential men of the OT.

I haven't done as extensive a study on feminine qualities, but maybe most obvious counters to the "status-quo" would be Esther, Deborah, and Ruth. Again, all of these demonstrated traits opposite the traditional view of womanhood (boldness, leadership, independence).

What we should strive for is faith in God rather than faith in our gender role - whatever that is.
Very true brother.

Rather blurred lines even in the Bible...it kinda all boils down to whom God made us to be and His purpose for each of us individually...
 

PopClick

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
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#34
I saw an entry in the dictionary a while ago, I forget what I was actually looking up, but it was the definition of "manly". It said, "like a man, as a man should be: strong, frank, brave, noble, independent, and honorable."

It sort of stuck out to me, because I'd run across some guys who used their gender as excuses for bad behavior. "Well, I AM a man"... "Yeah, well men are like that" and so on. Of course that was baloney. Being a man does not have to mean being rude and crude, having no self control, etc etc.

I'm also thinking of a line from Macbeth, where Lady Macbeth is taunting her husband and basically telling him that he's not brave enough to commit murder, and he says to her "I dare do all that doth become a man. Who dares do more is none." (Never mind how long his resolve lasts. It's still a cool quote. Lol)

Strangely, I have less to say about being feminine. (And so does the dictionary: all it says is weak and gentle.) I'm the girl who will wear a sequined dress over yoga pants and then end up in a muddy field playing an impromptu game of touch football, slip in the mud, and spend the rest of the night with mud smeared on her sequined dress. This legit happened last Wednesday. (I swear I looked nice for about an hour and a half.) I'm sure a lot of people would say that's not feminine, and maybe they're right.

I have come to this conclusion about being feminine though: being able to accept help is strong. Always needing it is weak.

Regardless of gender, I think it's proper for men and women to not view a certain task as being "below" them. If it needs to be done, and you're the best one there to do it, then do it. Never mind if you think it's gross or difficult or girly. Anyway, those are my thoughts.
 
F

FenceMan

Guest
#35
Where? I just did an eSword search on "Act like a man" & "acting like a man": both came up zilch. :cool:
Oh! We just read a verse with that phrase in church recently. And it struck me because I didn't realize that phrase was in the Bible. It had something to do with David, but I forget where exactly it was. Read the story of Saul and David and you might come across it.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
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#36
Awesome POPCLICK!
Being able to accept help is strong. Always needing it is weak.
Wisdom in those words sis!
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
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#38
When I was married, I felt a particular "burden" to provide for my family. While I usually enjoyed my work, in the times that income was scarce, I felt that obtaining it was "on me". Similarly, if there was a physical threat, I felt called to step in between it and her/the kids.

With this in mind, I suggest that "male" is (or at least includes as a significant portion) protector/provider.

I'd offer complementary thoughts regarding "female" but as I'm not one, I don't know what "burdens" females. So, ladies, especially those who are/have been married, I welcome your perspectives.
 

seoulsearch

Senior Member
May 23, 2009
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#39
When I was married, I felt a particular "burden" to provide for my family. While I usually enjoyed my work, in the times that income was scarce, I felt that obtaining it was "on me". Similarly, if there was a physical threat, I felt called to step in between it and her/the kids.

With this in mind, I suggest that "male" is (or at least includes as a significant portion) protector/provider.

I'd offer complementary thoughts regarding "female" but as I'm not one, I don't know what "burdens" females. So, ladies, especially those who are/have been married, I welcome your perspectives.
Thank you always for being so honest, Dino.

I can only speak for myself, but one contrast I've noticed is that men seem to feel like they need to fix "things", whereas I often feel like women want to fix people.

If someone is sad, depressed, lonely, frustrated, hurting--I know that I always feel some need to try to "make them better", whether through sympathy, corny jokes, or a badly-timed combination of both.

I think that because women are seen as nurturing, gentle and comforting, there is this mistaken belief that women can "make someone feel better", even when the situation is actually beyond any person's own human jurisdictions.

If I have a spouse who is regularly watching porn and is angry, depressed, lonely, etc. because he can't have the depictions on the screen or the women he fantasizes about having, that's more of a matter between him and God rather than him and me, but it will still make me feel insecure and suicidal.

My inner self struggles a lot with depression, anxiety, and overall worries about life.

But as a woman, my outer self says to smile, tell everyone that everything is all right, cheer people up, and then distract myself by trying to tackle other people's problems because... that's just what women are supposed to do.

To me, one of the negative things I've observed in Christian marriages is that (and this is just my own view) the women apologize a whole lot more than the men do, and that's a big part of what seems to "makes the marriage work." They squelch their feelings and opinions and don't say a word because they're being the good submissive Christian wife.

When I was married and my husband and I fought, my Mom used to tell me, "Oh, just make him good dinners and tell him you're sorry." And I can remember one time specifically when we were fighting over something wrong that he had consciously chosen to do, and I thought to myself, "What, exactly, am I supposed to be sorry for?"

I'm certainly NOT saying there weren't times when I wasn't at fault or didn't do my own share of wrong, but I'm just saying that as the good Christian wife, I felt as if I had to take the blame and fall for EVERYTHING that was wrong, including his actions as well, and not just my own share.

Part of why my marriage imploded is because I couldn't be like many of the good Christian women I saw in my everyday life. I couldn't always be sweet, quiet, and sorry for everything that wasn't my fault. I didn't hold all of my opinions to myself, and if I disagreed with something, I had no qualms about saying so.

I know that if I were to ever get married again, I would have to find a better balance. I also know that I do not do well around extremely needy people, because I am very much lacking whatever it is they need from someone in order to make themselves feel better.

And, I am certainly not trying to blame men or say that they do everything wrong--I have many faults and commit many wrongs myself, and one of them is probably being TOO expressive at times.

However, if I have a choice, I would much rather stay single than feel I am constantly being silenced... or be expected to be the one who has to apologize for absolutely everything and then act like loving and sweet for the sake of "making things alright" again.
 
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Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
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#40
When I was married, I felt a particular "burden" to provide for my family. While I usually enjoyed my work, in the times that income was scarce, I felt that obtaining it was "on me". Similarly, if there was a physical threat, I felt called to step in between it and her/the kids.

With this in mind, I suggest that "male" is (or at least includes as a significant portion) protector/provider.

I'd offer complementary thoughts regarding "female" but as I'm not one, I don't know what "burdens" females. So, ladies, especially those who are/have been married, I welcome your perspectives.
I feel it's my place to be the peace maker. My responsibility is to check to be sure people are happy, satisfied, and things are organized...well oiled machine!