Sweetie,
As another 40-something woman who has been trying to navigate the world of dating for years, I could swap dozens of horror stories with you, many of which I've posted right here on CC in the past.
Just a few of the gems:
* The guy who told me about driving 1 1/2 hours to his old church every Sunday because he couldn't find one in his new location that he liked as much--then as soon as I got home from my first (and only) date with him (talking over dinner), he texted me and asked, "So... how soon do you think a couple can start having sex after they meet?"
Uh... no brainer.
* The guy who once traveled the world as a youth missionary and was currently on his church's praise team. During our first (and only) date, he told me his ex-wife used to "bribe him with sex", then looked straight at me and said, "And I would LOVE it if YOU tried to bribe me."
Argh... HUGE no brainer.
* And finally, the guy I met for lunch (our first and only date--are you seeing a trend here?) who, during our conversation, made references to things in porn movies (no, I watch porn movies), but he would say things like, "That looks/sounds like something right out of a porn movie!" and I was wondering how frequently he watched them in order to know. He then made a few implications... and let's just say that it made me extremely uncomfortable.
For the past umpteen years, I've had pretty much all first-dates-only that were a whole bunch of no-brainers. You're not alone, believe me. Keep standing tall, and keep the faith.
But, to make this fair, I have also, in that time, met some really sweet, utterly sincere and the utmost trustworthy Christian men anyone could have the privilege of meeting--it's just that we had no chemistry, had different ministry interests, or our lives just headed off in different directions. Many of them went on to marry other wonderful Christian women.
In fact, one of the only things that keeps me going are my Christian guy friends who generously lend me a shoulder to cry on when I want to vent about all my "no-brainer" experiences!!
And, of course it goes both ways, as I've also heard many horror stories from our noble, honorable Christian guys out there who have also had to deal with women being far too aggressive and/or have dumped them for the same reason.
My sympathies to anyone, guy or girl, who is out there in the midst of the Shark Tank we call Dating.