Instant healing doesn't happen very often in this lifetime. I have felt different my entire life, since about age 9 or so when I made my first suicide attempt. I've had seizures since the age of 5, and to this day they are an embarassment and a hindrance. I hated school because I had them all the time and the other kids didn't understand why. I had heavy periods and would bleed through my dress and the other kids would laugh. My mother makes fun of me to this day, as to how weird and odd and anti-social I am.. So I've been there, done it ALL. I have felt many times that God has deserted me, doesn't hear me and doesn't care. We have all been in that situation more than once. You claim to have a relationship with God, yet you're denying his power to help you. And you're betraying Him by giving into satan's lies.