Would You Compete with a Gaggle of Other Suitors to Win Someone's Hand?
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Sorry, Lynx... I just realized I never answered your question.
I'm pretty sure that a gaggle is 4 more than a group, 3 less than a batch, slightly more than one club (divided by 5), and 8 times a band (unless of course, it's a polka band, or a quartet.)
In other words... the answer is... "at least 2."
After all, isn't that the answer to everything?
I'm pretty sure that a gaggle is 4 more than a group, 3 less than a batch, slightly more than one club (divided by 5), and 8 times a band (unless of course, it's a polka band, or a quartet.)
In other words... the answer is... "at least 2."
After all, isn't that the answer to everything?
lol, absolutely not : p Im looking for a best friend to spend my life with, not a victory.
We either totally hit it off and click together, or we dont. I would want to be with someone who likes me for me, and not someone who wants to be won over. Others can do what they wanna do, but that doesn't sound fun to me at all, haha.
1 If my best friend and I liked the same person? Actually when were like 16 or so we agreed that on the off chance something like that happened, we'd both pull back and not try. No need for that drama to get in the way of a good friendship.
2 The person I like has several other people after them? I have a kind of a rule I guess, I wouldnt even be interested in dating someone unless we became friends and got to know each other and junk. And I mean, that's always a possibility anyway, people like other people, I may develope a crush on someone that someone else already has a crush on. I dont think that would change anything though, really . I mean if that person chose the other person, that would be that. Id be bummed out but would also accept they werent interested in me.
3 Person I like attracts alot of attention? Well like I said I like to really get to know the person before I think about dating them, and if I really start to crush over them Ive probly grown to trust them : p Can't be with someone if you dont fell you can trust them. I also dont think it would play into the issue with me : p
B1 What do I do to catch attention? I dunno really, I usually do whats more comfortable and enjoyable for me, haha. I try to look nice if I can, though. Ive never REALLY been in a situation that I had to "work hard" to win someones heart, every relationship ive been in has just come about with someone I knew, after a while we talked more and opened up about feelings and decided to get together.
B2 and B3 have already kinda been answered by my other responses, I think. Never really tried to win someone so can't really say anything about it.
And haha, Christian culture. Im pretty serious about my faith in Christ and all that, and I try to live my life by His word. But yeeesh, Christian culture, always feel like an outsider there. Of course I love other Christian people (obviously), but as for fitting in with the community, not so much, haha. I would obviously feel more drawn to someone who shares those feelings.
(I read a few responses I liked, but can't give likes on mobile, lame. They probly already know I agree with them anyway though)
D
I am guilty of telling one of my prom dates that she was on my "list" to go to the prom with. In retrospect, that was just a jerk-ish move on my part. She ended up asking me to the prom herself. Just wanted to confess that, because, seriously, I DON'T want to compete for a woman. I'd rather go after a woman one at a time, and prove to her that I would be an outstanding husband for her and an outstanding father to our children. As of this time, I am unprepared to be either.
Anyway...
1. If I were in competition for someone, and I knew she was someone so meaningful that I'd be willing to compete for her, my strategy is a no-holds-barred swinging-for-the-fences attitude. For example, I'd say things like "Let's go to x place on Friday." Act as if I've already won and just "claim" her. I've displayed some of that attitude in one dating site with a woman that rarely replies to any messages (there was a red indicator saying that). And she responded! She said that it was refreshing to come across someone who's "openly honest and forward". So yeah, I'm saving that strategy for whenever I feel like swinging for the fences again.
2. However, if I don't feel like I can win her in a landslide, I walk away. I'm not into close contests when it comes to competing for affection. I want her to have feelings for God and me, and little to no one else, or it's not worth it.
3. To my knowledge, I've never competed for a woman. If a woman says to be, "I have a boyfriend", I walk away immediately. I do NOT want to ruin his monopoly(ish) on her affection.
Anyway...
1. If I were in competition for someone, and I knew she was someone so meaningful that I'd be willing to compete for her, my strategy is a no-holds-barred swinging-for-the-fences attitude. For example, I'd say things like "Let's go to x place on Friday." Act as if I've already won and just "claim" her. I've displayed some of that attitude in one dating site with a woman that rarely replies to any messages (there was a red indicator saying that). And she responded! She said that it was refreshing to come across someone who's "openly honest and forward". So yeah, I'm saving that strategy for whenever I feel like swinging for the fences again.
2. However, if I don't feel like I can win her in a landslide, I walk away. I'm not into close contests when it comes to competing for affection. I want her to have feelings for God and me, and little to no one else, or it's not worth it.
3. To my knowledge, I've never competed for a woman. If a woman says to be, "I have a boyfriend", I walk away immediately. I do NOT want to ruin his monopoly(ish) on her affection.
F
Hey Everyone,
I was just curious as to how you all feel about "competing" for the same person (when the person you like has other people after them.)
There were a few times when I was younger when I felt like I was "competing" for someone--and generally, I would lose. I always say that the only reason I ever had boyfriends at all was because they were the only guys who weren't interested in my friends (or at least, hadn't met them yet.)
Now days I have to admit, I don't really have any interest in competing for anyone. If a guy told me, "You're one of the Top 3 Contenders that I'm considering," he may as well just start calling me "Bessie," because that's going to make me feel like some kind of prize heifer who's competing against the rest of the herd for a blue ribbon (which, I guess, he would see as being himself
.)
No thanks. If I'm going to be a piece of livestock at the county fair, I'd personally rather try my luck at the Hog Calling Contest.
But I realize that this also creates a Catch 22, because, while I'm not keen on feeling like some kind of contestant (if I wanted that, I'd just enter a pageant or try out for a dating game show), but on the other hand, I don't want to feel like someone's last chance at not being single, either.
I suppose in my idealistic mind, I'm looking for someone who is content and out living life, and if we just happen to bump into each other and sparks fly.... Well then--"SSSUUUUUUU----EEEEEE!!!!"
I guess that would make me the Grand Prize Champion of The Best Hog-Calling Contest, ever. (Just kidding, sweetie, whoever you are and wherever you may be!)
How about the rest of you? How do you feel about competing for someone you're interested in?
For instance, what if:
* You and your best friend like the same person.
* The person you like has several other people after them.
* The person you like attracts a lot of attention from the opposite gender in general.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So...
1. What do you do to make yourself stand out, and catch the person's eye/win their heart?
2. Or, do you just give and walk away, and why?
3. If you did compete for someone, how did it turn out? And if you did not, do you have any regrets, or what do you wish you would have done differently?
By the way, I am in no way criticizing anyone who DOES compete for someone, most especially the guys, because I realize that in a way, the Christian culture almost sets this up ("Men should pursue and lead;" "Women should submit and wait to be approached.")
I acknowledge 100% that this kind of thinking seems to automatically put the men in a place of competing against each other for the women. Do you agree with that? Why or why not?
And, our married friends are welcome to post, too. Maybe some of you out there had to compete for your betrothed, and have a story to tell about it, or have seen it happen with other couples?
How did it go?
I was just curious as to how you all feel about "competing" for the same person (when the person you like has other people after them.)
There were a few times when I was younger when I felt like I was "competing" for someone--and generally, I would lose. I always say that the only reason I ever had boyfriends at all was because they were the only guys who weren't interested in my friends (or at least, hadn't met them yet.)
Now days I have to admit, I don't really have any interest in competing for anyone. If a guy told me, "You're one of the Top 3 Contenders that I'm considering," he may as well just start calling me "Bessie," because that's going to make me feel like some kind of prize heifer who's competing against the rest of the herd for a blue ribbon (which, I guess, he would see as being himself
.) No thanks. If I'm going to be a piece of livestock at the county fair, I'd personally rather try my luck at the Hog Calling Contest.
But I realize that this also creates a Catch 22, because, while I'm not keen on feeling like some kind of contestant (if I wanted that, I'd just enter a pageant or try out for a dating game show), but on the other hand, I don't want to feel like someone's last chance at not being single, either.
I suppose in my idealistic mind, I'm looking for someone who is content and out living life, and if we just happen to bump into each other and sparks fly.... Well then--"SSSUUUUUUU----EEEEEE!!!!"
I guess that would make me the Grand Prize Champion of The Best Hog-Calling Contest, ever. (Just kidding, sweetie, whoever you are and wherever you may be!)
How about the rest of you? How do you feel about competing for someone you're interested in?
For instance, what if:
* You and your best friend like the same person.
* The person you like has several other people after them.
* The person you like attracts a lot of attention from the opposite gender in general.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So...
1. What do you do to make yourself stand out, and catch the person's eye/win their heart?
2. Or, do you just give and walk away, and why?
3. If you did compete for someone, how did it turn out? And if you did not, do you have any regrets, or what do you wish you would have done differently?
By the way, I am in no way criticizing anyone who DOES compete for someone, most especially the guys, because I realize that in a way, the Christian culture almost sets this up ("Men should pursue and lead;" "Women should submit and wait to be approached.")
I acknowledge 100% that this kind of thinking seems to automatically put the men in a place of competing against each other for the women. Do you agree with that? Why or why not?
And, our married friends are welcome to post, too. Maybe some of you out there had to compete for your betrothed, and have a story to tell about it, or have seen it happen with other couples?
How did it go?
If I were obsessed with relationships, I'd be working full-time to try to find one. I haven't had a relationship since I was 29 )I don't even bother doing the math anymore, I just know we broke up when I was 29.)
After that, it's been out to dinner for a few first dates here and there, but that's it. And to tell you the truth, it's become less important to me over time. I quit the dating sites about 3 years ago and haven't looked back. If I did find someone, great. But I'm not actively part of the dating 3-ring circus that claims to find someone, either.
While my interest in dating and its mishaps has waned, as MissCris stated, my interest in people has not (thank you for knowing me so well, Cristen.<3)
From the time I was a kid, I have always asked questions about God, life, and people. I hang out here in Singles because it's the life I'm most familiar with, and have found that God seems to have replaced my nagging desire for a relationship with a passion for talking to and encouraging other singles.
I have often said that I keep a notebook of thread ideas (much to the chagrin of those who like to send negative anonymous rep comments, lol). It has actually become 2 notebooks--the small one is filled, and the bigger one is probably 1/3 of the way full.
The problem is, due to working and good old real life (how dare it get in the way, huh), I just never have time to fully develop or write out my ideas.
Finaldesire--I also read your thread in which you are asking God for a particular struggle (post #4.)
http://christianchat.com/bible-discussion-forum/163540-baby-sitter.html
I will be sure the pray for you, and am wishing you God's blessings.
After that, it's been out to dinner for a few first dates here and there, but that's it. And to tell you the truth, it's become less important to me over time. I quit the dating sites about 3 years ago and haven't looked back. If I did find someone, great. But I'm not actively part of the dating 3-ring circus that claims to find someone, either.
While my interest in dating and its mishaps has waned, as MissCris stated, my interest in people has not (thank you for knowing me so well, Cristen.<3)
From the time I was a kid, I have always asked questions about God, life, and people. I hang out here in Singles because it's the life I'm most familiar with, and have found that God seems to have replaced my nagging desire for a relationship with a passion for talking to and encouraging other singles.
I have often said that I keep a notebook of thread ideas (much to the chagrin of those who like to send negative anonymous rep comments, lol). It has actually become 2 notebooks--the small one is filled, and the bigger one is probably 1/3 of the way full.
The problem is, due to working and good old real life (how dare it get in the way, huh), I just never have time to fully develop or write out my ideas.
Finaldesire--I also read your thread in which you are asking God for a particular struggle (post #4.)
http://christianchat.com/bible-discussion-forum/163540-baby-sitter.html
I will be sure the pray for you, and am wishing you God's blessings.